[jazper]

Today was Dad's birthday. He would have been 80 years old today. I miss him so much. I have been crying over my losses for the last few days looking at pictures and memories of my son and daughter and dad. All who have left me here alone to sit and wait this hell of a life out until I can join them.
I can still feel them cuddle up to me.
I can still see and hear dads corny sense of humour.
I miss them so much its a physical ache constantly in my heart.
This hurt never eases.
I forget things all the time so why cant i just forget this pain for a little while.

[pegasus]

((((((((( jazper )))))))))

Grief is so hard. Hold on to those memories, he is still with you...

[BLUEDOVE]

Hi There,
I can so identify with your pain,for although they are not
ACTUALLY dead,they would as well be,for my 4 grown-up children
have to all intents+purposes killed me off,as they are terrified of
their mother's rejection, and so the solution is to reject me.
Their M. is a selfish,narcissistic,self-absorbed,and manipulative
adult-child.It may sound terrible,but you know,it would have been
EASIER I think to have accepted they were dead,than it is to live
in the knowledge that they are only a bus ride away from me,but I
will never have a relationship with them.
The Buddhists have a saying
for deep pain such as ours,they say "lean into"the pain,don't try to
evade it.Write it down to get it out of your head;Speak it into a tape-
recorder and play it back;Give yourself an allotted time to think about
it,say 1/2 hr.then do some chores or go for walk.
The idea is to accept,
which is different from liking.A kind of "surrender"if you like,an
acknowledgment that "yes,this is the way things are ,and though they may
be painful,I CAN bear it.I am a separate human being on this planet and
it is my duty to myself to turn this situation/pain into something GOOD!"
AND I SHALL . . . . .
Kindness+Courage To You,
BLUEDOVE
P.S.
I followed my own advice,
and that's why I write to
you.

[TerryL]

Jazper--I am so sorry for your losses

[dillpickle1983]

Hang in there, it will get better.

Grief is rough. I deal with it daily regarding my late mother. I am just now 7 years later starting therapy for grief, they think it is the root cause of my major depression.