[puzzclar]

I've had a week free of suicidal thoughts... and now out of the blue, the thoughts return...... I know in my abnormal Psychology class the topic of suicide is coming, and I'm not sure how I"m going to handle the topic.... it may mean leaving the room.

I almost lost it today in class, I'm not sure how much longer I can stand the thoughts...

Any ideas of how to not keep getting triggered so easily??

[Fuzzybear]

I don't.... I can empathize with you though

[puzzclar]

Thank you for responding. Even if you don't, it still means I have people around to support me through this hard week in class.... I just hope that my safety net works for the class (a friend)

When I was a medical student doing my psych attachment, I got through the suicide lectures and talking to suicidal patients by focusing on my job as a medstudent and not on my personal experiences (even though I was experiencing suicidal ideation during that time). I'm usually quite good at compartmentalising though. I hope you get through it Puzzclar Have you got a T or Pdoc to talk to about this?

*Willow*

[teop]

At least you are thinking about it ahead of time...hoping the best for you!

[puzzclar]

I do have both (T and Pdoc). WeepingWillow, I'll have to try that, and see if it works. And my T gave me a paper on Grounding Techniques and that could help as well.... I'll find out in just a few hours.

[depressedalaskan]

Maybe this can be a good thing. By taking this class you might find an answer. If you do, bring it back and share it with us.

[teop]

How did it go?

[puzzclar]

today didn't go well at all. Pdoc was talking about hospitalization again, I cried for the first time in quite awhile, I keep getting lectures from a lot of people... only one person trusts that I can keep myself safe. and I'm screaming inside..... this is not good

[feary]

other people weaken us by unintentionally making us believe that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves so we feed off of this and surrender to them but you have to take control of your life and not relinquish so much power to others.

You are strong and able to conquer anything

all the best

[teop]

just checking in to see how you are doing!

[puzzclar]

I'm home now, so better than what I was. Now it's time for the homework... this should be fun.

[teop]

Still doing OK?

[puzzclar]

I"m going down to 8 credits this week, I don't have enough to do... so what do I do... start to slack off.... I need to stay focused on classes... but having too few credits is not really helping..... mmm maybe a project may help.... Or look for a job.............

[teop]

Did you decide on anything?

[puzzclar]

not really. I'm trying to find a job, but I struggle with motivation to do anything... darn depression... and that's making things difficult to try and work on anything...have I decided on anything? Now that truly is the question.

[teop]

Any update?

[puzzclar]

I'm starting to be more forceful at pushing myself to find a job... I'm going to talk to a few mangers today, and then put in applications tomorrow, and finishing my homework for chemistry to night, and study more tomorrow.

[teop]

Keep your streaks going!