[so_punk_rock]

ever since i started feeling depressed, which was around age 14, my school attendance started to suffer. i spent my teenage years in and out of hospitals. i tried to go to school and i at least made it to 11th grade but everything was overwhelming me, the depression, school, the anxiety, and i dropped out. its my fault, i just couldnt handle it at the time. today i started to think about going back. there is this school i went to for 1 day. lol, thats right, 1 whole day. its called the Frost School. its for students with behavioral and mental problems. its from ages 5 to 21 and im 19, almost 20, so if i wanted to go back to school this is my last chance. i debate whether i want to go back to school or get a g.e.d. i wanted to go back so that i could be around people my own age, or to have the "high school experience" that normal people have. i figure either way, i would be getting some type of education. im worried though. i feel if i go back i will feel overwhelmed again. even thinking about it is overwhelming, AND its a year-round school. i tell myself "its only a year" but i still feel anxious about it. i think i will write a list of pros and cons and maybe post it later. hopefully this will help me figure out what i want to do....

[unaluna]

well if you have any thoughts about college, you could look at this year in this school as being preparation for college, and that would be like a normal high school experience! you might be able to get more one-on-one help in this school than by g.e.d. which would mean not having to take as many intro courses in college. it could also be good socialization practice. good luck whatever you decide.

[Rohag]

Hello, So_Punk_Rock! The information on the Frost School I found indicates they require family participation (once per week?). Is your family willing to fulfill their commitment alongside you if you were to attend Frost?

i think i will write a list of pros and cons and maybe post it later.

Great idea!

[LadyShadow]

I always had trouble with school too. Dropped out of high school, (got my GED though), and just was in and out of college for years. I finally finished a business school, and through much hard work I finally finished. Getting up every day and being on time was a challenge at first, but then it gave me purpose now a great sense of accomplishment.

I think you should stick to it and keep us posted on how it goes!

[ECHOES]

Go for it It will be so valuable to you down the road. And there's no doubt you can do it!

We can feel anxious about things... and still do them.
Do you have a psychotherapist to help you and support you?

[Atlantis]

I think you need to be on a working daytime antidepressant, so I hope you go back and manage to finish high shool. I know I would never go back to university unless I felt at least partially better. Try your best to work your way through it. I'm not sure what would be best in your case but there are anxiolytics, and quetiapine at least partially works for me. Try to find a good doctor who understands.

[so_punk_rock]

this idea of going back to school has made me feel bad about myself. i feel like a loser. why? because losers fail at things and then make excuses for them. at least thats what this paper says that a social worker gave to me a while ago. it doesnt say that exactly but thats how i interpret it. i made a list of pros and cons but im still confused. i dont think i want to go to the frost school anymore though. the problems i have with this school is 1)family therapy-my family has never been interested in my mental health so i dont understand how this would help. i also dont care to discuss my feelings with them. i dont tell them things for a reason. 2)if you are known to have a substance abuse problem, you have to go to a rehab center and have to be clean for at least 6 months prior to attending this school. i already have to deal with school and mental illness, i think that would be more than i can take. techniquely i was a pot smoker even when i went to that school for 1 day, so im not sure if that matters but im sure its on my mental health records by now. 3) you cant talk to your schoolmates outside of school without the school staff and both set of parents' permission- I guess i understand this one, but it still seems a little ridiculous. it seemed like a nice school when i went so, i dont know, maybe im overreacting. theres another school im thinking about going to also. then i came across duke ellington:school of the arts, which i auditioned for when i was 14 but didnt get accepted. i love art so that hurt really bad. i didnt even get a rejection letter. thinking about it made me awfully depressed and regretful. i kept thinking i shouldve auditioned for something else. im rambling now so ill try to end this soon. i want to say ***** it, and get my G.E.D. instead, but something inside of me really wants to graduate high school. the problem is, where can a troubled, mentally ill, damn near 20-year-old find a decent school in or near dc that would accept me so that i can graduate in one year? im sorry, i must sound like such a whiny assh0le, but im gonna try not to beat myself up about it.