Very depressed and hopeless what to do?

Since March I have been very depressed. The stress just keep on piling on. My mom needs dangerous surgery #357893803 (OK not literally but just a lot), my grandpa isn't doing well, there are mice in the house, my art is shutting down places and I'm being kicked out because I'm not good enough. None of our businesses does anything and soon we will be on the street if dad retires with no money. All this while everything is great in the world. The economy is just fine. I have singlehandedly shut down 3 places and got kicked out of 3. That is the majority of the places I am in with my crappy starving art. No wonder why my only talent means I will live on the street begging for money. I have been hearing occasional voices telling me to cut myself and worse. I already took 10 Klonopin because of the stress even though I am not supposed to take more than 1. Everything's great except for me. I am hopeless about my so called "future" and feel like I am a burden all around me. My cute bird helps me because sometimes he gets depressed as well. How cute. I have been talking to my doctors. My parents talked to my psychiatrist to raise the WRONG pill. They want to increase the anti psychotic but I refuse. In fact my pills I discovered has cameras, tracking chips, and nanobots to release poison. I don't want to take them. The other pills are mostly fine. There is a frozen sun in danger. Well, it WILL freeze and I am scared its OUR sun if I don't do something about it. I am terrified of aliens. Demons. The government. Other creatures that are too weird to put on the Internet. Fear surrounds me. That is why I had to take so many. To be honest I wanted to take a LOT more but feared throwing up. That is one of my phobias. In the middle of nowhere everyone has to fear cows, mice, deer, more flies and other middle of nowhere creatures. There is also a cult out here. We are famous because of it... not us personally the town. I have self injured many times in recent weeks but too scared to tell anyone because they would put me into the hospital which I refuse treatment. I realize I am depressed but don't have an anti depressant. My pills have made me so fat that its unbelievable. I can't even move without feeling worn out and bending because my stomach is in the way is impossible. Before all the poison, I was thin and beautiful. Now I had to keep on going to larger sizes for clothes. My glasses are currently off but obviously my computer is on. As a realist I know everything that is real. I only know reality. Same with my beautiful grandpa. Both my parents have health problems and I fear that my grandpa will outlive my parents. Then I have no one. I can't live on my own. I am pathetic. Useless. Real to the extreme goes to mom, with me no proof and people have actually accused me of making everything up. I don't like my psychiatrist for that reason.

Hi, I've been feeling awful lately as well, I was advised to see another doctor for second opinion and he changed my medication (since last night), he said if there is no obvious change in two-three weeks medicine should be changed. Maybe you can try the same, because IF it works it will change your hole perspective, and you will be able to find a way out of situations that you don't see now.

''In fact my pills I discovered has cameras, tracking chips, and nanobots to release poison.'' - You know when I was teenager I believe that I am constantly observed, I even believed that people can here my thoughts and I have NO privacy at all. While I felt this with my hole being only the little part of my brain telling me it is not true helped me overcome it. After all if they want to observe I'll let them!

I can't put myself in your shoes, so I hope I haven't offended you in any way. I'm just sharing personal experience and I hope you find a way to feel better.

P.S. I think doctors often try to treat symptoms. I think if you find a way to help yourself with the depression you will be able to stop blaming yourself, understand why you are so scared and overcome it. Also I don't see how your art (as bad as it can be), can possibly cause someone elses bussines to shut down! Whatever the reason it is the owners decision.

Wow, that is too much! I know from my experience most of these hamper your art. For me that is graphic design and writing. Depression, anxiety, delusions and halucinations. Most of the new meds they tried on me had terrible effects on my creativity, Abilify, Seroquel and such that I stopped taking them all together.
I'm not saying this is what you should do, but talk to your doctor about changing meds maybe.
I found if I can deal with my depression and anxiety the other symptoms are possible to manage with some effort, and my creativity comes back to me in large bursts which is pretty cool when it happens.
Don't give up. You do not suck, you are sick and trying to deal with too much.
If you think you took too much klonopin call 911.
It sounds like people love and need you right now, stay alive. My best days usally come after some of the worst, hang in there and look at tomorrow as a brand new begining.
Hope all the best for you, Dan

Thank you for responding. I am still very depressed but the amount of Klonopin wasn't enough to do anything. We checked. There are some that take much more than that if they have a seizure disorder. I would have to take upwards of 50+ pills before anything happened. It wasn't a suicide attempt it was just to get rid of the anxiety.