[NeelyO'Hara]

I'm not really sure if I am depressed. I don't want to see a therapist because I don't want to be put on medication and my major is Psychology. The only therapist I could afford to see would be the free one at my university. I don't want some record saying that I was depressed and put on medication when I eventually want to be a psychologist or psychiatrist. I know talking to a therapist would probably be the best thing to do, but these are the reasons as to why I am hesitant.
So, I'm 21. The last time I had a close friend was freshman year of high school. I haven't had any real friends since then. I am constantly tired, sluggish, like a zombie all day. I've been trying to exercise more. I do yoga and that is the only time I feel at peace. I have a general hatred of all people. I get easily annoyed with people and find them utterly stupid and useless. Ironically, all I want is for someone to understand me and give a **** about me. The people that are around me just use me to listen to their complaints, but they don't listen to mine. I'm just not seeing a point in socializing with people because all they do is use you. So, I'd rather be alone, sleeping, and daydreaming about a better life, but I'm tired of living in daydreams. I try to socialize with people, but they don't like me and I don't like them. I hate myself. I hate my body. I'm being good. I'm not drinking or using drugs. I hate that everyone thinks that I am doing just fine. Nobody asks why I don't have any friends or if I am lonely. It's like I have to put on a show for everyone and be the good, healthy, daughter/student when I am screaming inside. Nobody knows me and I don't think anyone would care or noticed if I just packed up and left.

[pandarama123456789]

I think talking to someone, a therapist or counsler, would be a good route to take. I don't think just because you were depressed at some time in your life would make you less qualified or anything to becoming a psychologist or psychiatrist. In my opinion, those types of people, who suffer from depression or any sort of mental illness, would make the best psycholigist/psychiatrist because they know from their own expirience how people may feel and have more sympathy than most.
You don't have to take medication if you really dont want to, it does help though and it in no way should be put against anyone just because they couldn't get through difficulties on their own, but talking to someone could really help you sort through all your feelings and make you feel better.