A Mess

Paranoia, anxiety, isolation, the inability to get any support or even relate to others around me...what does this add up to? This is what is going on with me. I try to talk to people and they don't even get what I mean by anything I say at all.

Like I told my bf last night, if you "get it" then tell me how. Only then by what someone says can I begin to tell if they "get it" at all. Usually I talk, people say they understand, but when they tell me how they understand and all that I realize they are so far from understanding what I'm talking about and that in essence they really don't understand at all.

It's like I have to go to the most advanced cutter, most severe case of abuse, etc. to find someone who even remotely understands what I am talking about!

I'm so sick of all this. No one will try to help me, relate to me...nothing! I don't even know why I try to find someone who I can relate to. I sit here crying because I feel so utterly alone.

It's like this. Imagine everyone else in the world getting the answer of 3 when they add 2 + 2, but when you do it you get the correct answer, 4. I can't make people understand at all...so what now?

I'm so close to giving up at this point!

I don't know what to do!!!! Lexi - I am so frustrated that I can't help you somehow.

I UNDERSTAND (really I do) giving up - I do this over and over - and even with saying that I feel compelled to tell you how strong and special you are - and that I so wish you did not feel you have to give up.

You so intelligent, so mature, so insightful, so caring and supportive. You are so very special.

I may never be able to help, or relate, perhaps I won't always understand - but I will listen, and never ever judge - that is all I can promise you.

(((Lexi)))

Sorry to hear of your struggle. I would offer to try to understand. But, I am not sure that I can understand. So, I can only offer to read your responses and try to put myself in your shoes. I know I hate it when I try to explain my feelings/thinking to have it repeated back to me in an unrecognizable jumble. Hang in there and keep trying. I had to explain something to my sister three times before she finally got it.

(((((((((((((((Rachel)))))))))))))

Here for you! PM me if you like!!!

Lexi...I know babe. I feel ya, hear ya, possibly am experienceing part of the same haunted spirit you are.
I got nothing to offer other then you are not alone!

I was going over some info for my meds yesterday when I got my script for Cymbalta filled. It said that the symptoms I've been experiencing for the last month are indicative of my condition getting worse and worse and that the meds aren't able to help much more...basically. So I guess I'll have to go back to my pdoc and let her know.

Lexi, I think talking to your doc is a good starting point for your meds. What your going through is so frustrating. No one but yourself can really know how YOU feel. Trying too put it into words so others can understand is very difficult. I think in general people may understand "surface stuff" but unless they actually walk in your shoes they may never know exactly how you feel. I wish I had some better advice and I'm sorry you are feeling so frustrated but like the others, if you ever need too talk I'm all ears.
HUGS
Cher

I think the worst part of this is that I'm not getting any support or feedback at all. I go to partial but all they do is question what I mean and then shut up about it. They don't say anything about what they've experienced or how they felt when they were experiencing similar things. It's like I'm all alone here.