[Lavoco]

As long as I can remember I've struggled with major depression, among other things. Every time I think I have it under control, it comes back worse than before. So disappointing.

Hi I haven't met you so I'll give you my welcome to the site here. If I understand one thing about depression it's that when it's there, it seems as if it has always been there and always will be. I hope it gets better for you soon

[Evis]

Hey
I can relate. I feel like my entire life has been a lifetime of bad memories and depression and negative experiences. I don't remember a time when it was any other way. I don't remember love. or happiness. And I think, other people have lives and memories full of good things and positive experiences and happiness. Like the exact opposite. What I would give to experience that for just one day. sorry i'm rambling a bit

[felicity5]

Originally Posted by Evis

Hey
I can relate. I feel like my entire life has been a lifetime of bad memories and depression and negative experiences. I don't remember a time when it was any other way. I don't remember love. or happiness. And I think, other people have lives and memories full of good things and positive experiences and happiness. Like the exact opposite. What I would give to experience that for just one day. sorry i'm rambling a bit

i am new here and hope i'm posting "properly." i feel just as you do, Evis. how do we re-program our mind? how do we learn that we deserve happiness?

[regretful]

Originally Posted by felicity5

i am new here and hope i'm posting "properly." i feel just as you do, Evis. how do we re-program our mind? how do we learn that we deserve happiness?

I think re-programming happens at various times, slowly and with focus on a goal. I don't know if I have been depressed for my entire life; I was in therapy in the early 90's as a requirement for graduate school...back then I felt okay. My first acknowledgment of depression was about 4 years ago. That has been rough. My reprogramming happened with medication (lexapro) last year, and it worked like a charm. Then, I went off the medication with medical advice. I was okay for about 6 months, then the cold, dark hand of depression was on my shoulder again...it's still here, and seems to be tightening its grip as the days progress.

I'm learning that I deserve happiness by re-starting therapy; I'm coming here daily to read what others have to say. There are some remarkable suggestions and stories...

You are posting just fine. This is a good forum for me. I am hopeful that you find the same comfort, small as it may be at times, from your visits and correspondence here.

[Fuzzybear]

[Evis]

I'm not sure how we re-program our minds, I'm still trying to learn it myself.

I've had more than one therapist say to me that everyone deserves to be loved for just being themselves, for example a newborn baby doesn't have to do anything to be deserving of love, it is just loved as it is.

I think it gets a little more complicated as life goes on though. IDK