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#1
Jul 15, 2012, 11:23 PM
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I don't know where to start. I am just so lost, can't stop crying can't sleep and the nightmares are back. I was in foster care till I was 7 then my brother and I were adopted he was 11. It was not good and the abuse was horrible. Emotional and sexual. All from the adoptive mom. She constantly told me how fat, ugly, stupid and worthless I was and I would never be anything. My brothers "love" was bought with things and money to keep him quiet. Mine was kept quiet by making me feel small and worthless and that the only way to get love was to do what she wanted because in my mind that was love. I had never had love so didnt know. I ran away when I was 15 and didnt look back but my brother stayed and was abused till he was old enough to leave. I stayed depressed and always felt bad about myself her voice always rang in my head. I always had people around me so I was able to deal and focus on other things. Well my lil girl went in the hospital and has been there for almost a month and this is when my brother decided to find me. I love my brother dearly, but everything came crashing in on me. The lady who did this is very high in society and has never been confronted for the things she did. Now when I try to close my eyes I see her "body parts" and hear her voice. I cry all day and just want it all to stop. Im so sad and so lost. I feel so worthless and small and cant even leave my house unless I have to. I got in my car the other night and found myself driving towards where she lived. I dont know if I wanted to confront her or worse, but kept thinking if I went to jail then everyone would know what she did, why should she be so happy. Well I pulled over and just broke down. I ended up at the cliffs just sitting there but wanting to do worse, but the thought of my lil one stopped me. I dont know where to go from here or what to do I just know Im tired of crying as soon as I open my eyes in the morning. My whole body aches. Just want it to stop.
Last edited by darkpurplesecrets; Jul 16, 2012 at 08:05 AM. Reason: added trigger icon.... |
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#2
Jul 16, 2012, 09:39 AM
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Hello & Welcome, Childinme!
Wow 
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My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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#3
Jul 16, 2012, 09:56 AM
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I am so sorry. I know that doesn't make the pain go away at all, but I send you hugs and hope for some kind of relief...
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#4
Jul 16, 2012, 04:46 PM
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No neither of us ever filed charges against her. I am 41 now. I almost went to the hospital at 3 a.m, but didnt.
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