nobody wants to listen

I am so grateful to finally find a community of people who understand. For the past week I have been trying to reach out to my husband and my mom for some understanding but they just don't want to hear it. I am hurting inside, I am so frustrated with all of this, it feels like I am being pulled apart, I can't focus, I just want to cry and sleep. I feel horrible because I don't seem to get anything done in the house. My husband just chooses to leave my alone. I have no patience with the kids, makes me feel even worse. Mom wants me to 'snap out of it', husband ignores it, how am I supposed to feel any better if noone will listen or just hold me for a little while. I cry alone. I have a house full of kids, daycare and my own, I seem to be able to keep it together just long enough for them to go home and then I lose it. I fall apart or I sit and stare out the window or a page in a book without really seeing anything. I'm almost ashamed to cry in front of my family, I don't think they really believe anything is wrong with me, so I hold it in until I can be by myself again. How long can a person go on like this before they lose their mind?

(((((steph2133)))) I'm sorry you're feeling so lousy. I think your being able to hold down the job of daycaring is a huge accomplishment in spite of what you're going through.
You don't have to write it but do you have a general idea of where this hurt is coming from or is it just blindsiding you out of nowhere and you have no idea where it's coming from?
It sounds to me like you may not be getting the appreciation you need and deserve from your Mom or husband. You could be feeling taken for granted.
If you're not getting anything done in the house it's probably because first-housework is a never ending chore and you're feeling soooo miserable and non energetic. Second-is anyone helping you with the house work?

It's very tiresome for me just to watch a child or two for a couple of hours when I'm feeling good-let alone a whole group of them for more then a few hours when I'm not feeling good and on top of that trying to get the housework done-(as the kids keep interrupting and then undoing all of the work that was just done.)
Lets be realistic.
If nobody is listening to you then don't keep banging your head against the wall. I made that mistake and wasted a lot of time and energy.
I think you did the right thing by coming here. I think it'll help you vent whatever it is that's making you feel so bad.
I hope we here at PC can help you find solutions or just make you feel better by being here when you need to let things out.
Welcome to PC, Steph!

((((((((((((((steph))))))))))))))))

I believe you're hurting and overwhelemed. I believe you. Is there ANY way to cut back and try to find some alone time? Since you feel your pleas and tears aren't being heard, can you make demands? I so know how you're feeling.

Are you in therapy of any kind...another something just for you.

Hang in there and lets figure something out. You're not alone.

KD

Yes, you will find ppl who listen here I was wondering how long has it been since you've had a check up by an MD... please do talk with one and let her/him know how terrible you are feeling.

Sometimes ppl don't listen because they don't know how to handle their own problems, much more someone elses. Telling someone to "snap out of" a depressive state is plain old fashion and ignorant. By not going for help is giving in to that illogical reasoning.

It sounds like you are definitely overwhelmed..and there are plenty of things you can do to find relief. I think someone IRL -a doctor- can help you find which ones will work for you. TC

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Welcome to the forums (((((((((Steph)))))))))) It sounds like you are having a really difficult time and I hope you'll consider getting professional help. I know how much it hurts when our loved ones don't seem to be interested. Sometimes though, they really don't know how to help and are afraid for you.

Therapy and anti-depressants have helped me immensely. Most of us have been in the emotional place that you are now and we understand the pain. Keep talking to us and it will help.

Welcome to PC Steph. I really understand the frustration of being told to snap out of it, along with it being ignored.

I can only agree with all the above advice and yes, please do keep talking to us.