[SeekingImprovement]

Hi All,

I am looking for tips on how to be honest with myself. I've been working through cognitive behavioral therapy books, where the first step is basically to ID destructive thoughts. I find myself censoring my thoughts before I can even put them in words. Maybe more honestly, something prevents me from writing down the really harmful thoughts - I don't want to admit I'm having them. But, I think the denial is standing in the way of recovery. Any hints on how to overcome the self-filter? or become more self-aware?

Thank you!
Seeking

[Freedaa]

Self Honesty is so important. There is a need for protection from destructive and abusive spiritual leaders. Identifying who they are and how they operate is the first step in getting help. And that is very hard to acknowlege.

I am recovering from a major breakdown due to a psychologically traumatic experience within my congregation emotional abuse and bullying. I'm on medication and in therapy for the last 6 years. Something happened where I have no mental capacity to understand the "truth" as I knew it.. I want to understand the authority of the 'faithful discreet slave' but I simply cannot ,

I want to understand how while the governing body is not inspired , they are still able to tell us what Jehovah wants us to know. How does their fallible understandings stand for God's infallible truth?

How can truth from Jehovah ever later be wrong? I cannot find a biblical parallel. My family and as far as I have researched no Jehovah's Witness can answer these questions and my Doctor and Therapist are puzzled by the apparent contradictions and the lack of answers , but are helping me cope with my new situation.

Still I am in a precarious position because these problem areas for me are the reasons others have been called apostate and hated by Jehovah's witnesses.

I have not talked with other Jehovah's witnesses about this outside of family, as they have stated they are afraid how others would interpret and judge me. So online discussion ( Beliefnet among others ) are my only resource.