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MyOwnEnemy
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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 12:29 AM
  #1
This is something I've needed to share for a long time, and to see if I could get any kind of feedback, any advice or support possible. For quite a while now, I've felt so out of place and riddled with anxiety leading to terribly down moods. I find that one of the greatest factors that seems to be fueling all the interpersonal negativity within me, is the external world itself.

To be blunt about it, I feel like the world is going to Hell in a hand basket, so to speak. The expression is old yes, but I truly feel like it's very much a reality now. My world view has become dauntingly pessimistic, and outright nihilistic in nature. I see the negative aspects behind the motivation of everyone and everything. I feel like I'm living in "the last era", so to speak, like society is approaching the very same decay that befell the era of Rome. Everywhere that I look I see so much greed, narcissism, gluttony, hatred, lust, apathy, etc. Pretty much everything on the list of deadly sins. Perhaps the most ironic twist being, I'm not a religious person. Yet within me, I can sense how horrible those things are, as they continue to consume people and drive their every move. I won't bother really delving into all of the specifics, but I feel as though we are all living on borrowed time, my generation will be the one to bring this world to it's extinction, and almost dare I say deservingly so.

People, a lot of them, they don't seem like they have a heart or a soul anymore. They've sold it in exchange for some form of gratification or another. They just don't value anything, anymore. I cannot relate to them, and quite frankly they scare me. Likewise, everyone I've known has changed with similar effect. Everyone is so mean-spirited, cut throat, nasty and disrespectful, it is ridiculous. And the nastiness hits very close, as the change in attitude is reflected even within my own family, and sometimes even rubs off on me. It's hard to not bite back when everyone is trying to rip into you. But things never used to be that way! And I never used to see so much of this negative behavior in people.

Being only 23 yeas of age, I feel like I've seen enough change in my life to have been 70, I feel like everything about the world I used to know is gone. People, places, things, even reality itself, all vastly changed. Like the world is being recreated before my very eyes, and I don't think it's ever reverting back. Like it's is not the world that I wanted to be a part of, but it's the world that I've got. I'm left to cope. It's like I've been time warped into some dystopian future time period.

I think that I feel my best when I am able to block all of this out, and just not be reminded of it. When I'm able to zero in on what little resembles what I can still believe in. It's so hard for me to go out, or really interact with others, because I am so quickly reminded of the negative change. I believe these external woes have played a significant role in the anxiety attacks that used to have, and my constant mood swinging and bouts of feeling depressed, perhaps even the depersonalization I suffered. It's so difficult feeling like that problem is so much larger than yourself, and you can't do anything about it but try to ignore it.
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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 02:53 AM
  #2
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Originally Posted by MyOwnEnemy View Post
This is something I've needed to share for a long time, and to see if I could get any kind of feedback, any advice or support possible. For quite a while now, I've felt so out of place and riddled with anxiety leading to terribly down moods. I find that one of the greatest factors that seems to be fueling all the interpersonal negativity within me, is the external world itself.

To be blunt about it, I feel like the world is going to Hell in a hand basket, so to speak. The expression is old yes, but I truly feel like it's very much a reality now. My world view has become dauntingly pessimistic, and outright nihilistic in nature. I see the negative aspects behind the motivation of everyone and everything. I feel like I'm living in "the last era", so to speak, like society is approaching the very same decay that befell the era of Rome. Everywhere that I look I see so much greed, narcissism, gluttony, hatred, lust, apathy, etc. Pretty much everything on the list of deadly sins. Perhaps the most ironic twist being, I'm not a religious person. Yet within me, I can sense how horrible those things are, as they continue to consume people and drive their every move. I won't bother really delving into all of the specifics, but I feel as though we are all living on borrowed time, my generation will be the one to bring this world to it's extinction, and almost dare I say deservingly so.

People, a lot of them, they don't seem like they have a heart or a soul anymore. They've sold it in exchange for some form of gratification or another. They just don't value anything, anymore. I cannot relate to them, and quite frankly they scare me. Likewise, everyone I've known has changed with similar effect. Everyone is so mean-spirited, cut throat, nasty and disrespectful, it is ridiculous. And the nastiness hits very close, as the change in attitude is reflected even within my own family, and sometimes even rubs off on me. It's hard to not bite back when everyone is trying to rip into you. But things never used to be that way! And I never used to see so much of this negative behavior in people.

Being only 23 yeas of age, I feel like I've seen enough change in my life to have been 70, I feel like everything about the world I used to know is gone. People, places, things, even reality itself, all vastly changed. Like the world is being recreated before my very eyes, and I don't think it's ever reverting back. Like it's is not the world that I wanted to be a part of, but it's the world that I've got. I'm left to cope. It's like I've been time warped into some dystopian future time period.

I think that I feel my best when I am able to block all of this out, and just not be reminded of it. When I'm able to zero in on what little resembles what I can still believe in. It's so hard for me to go out, or really interact with others, because I am so quickly reminded of the negative change. I believe these external woes have played a significant role in the anxiety attacks that used to have, and my constant mood swinging and bouts of feeling depressed, perhaps even the depersonalization I suffered. It's so difficult feeling like that problem is so much larger than yourself, and you can't do anything about it but try to ignore it.
Alot of what you have noticed in the world in general is true. We have become a very self serving, uninvolved species. However, people who are three generations in front of you, said the same thing about the direction the world went between their childhood and the ways things were when they were older. Some of this is a trade off. We wanted to be able to travel, see new things, be independant. In trade for that, we have few extended families living in the same area. Same thing for instant communication. We like that fact that we can get on a computer and e-mail someone, or get to a forum like this, but in return, we had to give up a lot of our privacy.

Depression is a strange thing. When you don't feel good emotionally, things that ordinarily wouldn't bother you, or things you wouldn't dwell on, do bother you. When you already feel dark inside, everything outside seems dark as well. If what was bothering you was merely the state of the world today, you could pick up a cause that you cared about and work on making it better. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to minimize what you are feeling. Rather I'm trying to show you the difference between feeling bad about something that is happening and projecting your pain onto something that you see wrong, but is not the primary cause of your pain.

Only you know how you feel inside. If you could pick something in your corner of the world to act on and try to improve, would you have the energy to do it, or would your emtional pain deprive you of the energy you needed to act?

I imagine you have seen a lot in your 23 years, and in another 23, you will see even more. You are not at an easy age. You are too old to hang around with kids who don't have any particular power to change things, but too young to know enough older people on an equal basis to understand why they are doing what they do. Sometimes taking people on a one to one basis is a better place to start. We are what, five minutes away from midnight on the doomsday clock now? As groups, I would agree, we can be pretty pathetic at times. One on one, most of us want very similar things.

There is an old story from WWII about a group of allies and a group of Germans who were bitterly fighting and had been for weeks. On Christmas eve, they dropped their differences and drank together. I don't know if that is true or not, I like to think it is, because it shows hope that we can get along.

i'm sure you will get many more answers to your post. Mine is sort of rambling and may not make sense. You shouldn't have to feel sad all the time. Sometimes talking to a counsellor that sees things objectively, can help you figure out whether your feelings are primary depression, or secondary. If they are secondary, you might be able to find something you feel strongly about and become involved with the cause.

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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 03:36 AM
  #3
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Alot of what you have noticed in the world in general is true. We have become a very self serving, uninvolved species. However, people who are three generations in front of you, said the same thing about the direction the world went between their childhood and the ways things were when they were older.
I've heard this before. My thoughts are, maybe there was some validity to their claims then, likely more so each time the claim was made. It seems much like the "one more wouldn't hurt" school of thought, while you never know when you've reached the straw is that breaks the camel's back, or when we've gone too far.

Quote:
Depression is a strange thing. When you don't feel good emotionally, things that ordinarily wouldn't bother you, or things you wouldn't dwell on, do bother you. When you already feel dark inside, everything outside seems dark as well. If what was bothering you was merely the state of the world today, you could pick up a cause that you cared about and work on making it better. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to minimize what you are feeling. Rather I'm trying to show you the difference between feeling bad about something that is happening and projecting your pain onto something that you see wrong, but is not the primary cause of your pain.
My pessimism tells me that I can't make a difference. There are groups out there fighting for betterment in all walks of life, and sadly despite all of their efforts, they change they bring about is so minimal.

I have on many occasions, stood up against things that I thought were wrong. Majority of the time I just get told off, because I'm infringing on personal freedoms of others in the process... Truth of the matter seems to be that you can't change people. If you can't change minds, then how can you bring about change? You can't, you've lost.

That is where my discouragement comes from. Realizing how hard it is to really get through to one person, let along bring about a widespread change.
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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 05:26 AM
  #4
Hello and welcome to PC, MyOwnEnemy.

I do not know all of the answers. I just turned 23 years old myself (male), and I think I might understand what is going on here. As Sam2, in so many words said, people have been exclaiming about the world's end for generations. I think that what you have been experiencing (your anxiety, down moods) is directly related to depression in that your mind is naturally focusing on negative thoughts. You suddenly are becoming more aware of world events, things that I do not disagree are terrible things happening in the world. Such thoughts have been proclaimed in songs, and expressions, and I'm sure other means. "You insist that the weight of the world be on your shoulders" -My Friend of Misery, Metallica.

Things happen for a reason, I used to be very confused and sort-of on that religious band-wagon thinking that the end of the world surely was coming. What I didn't realize at the time, was just that things happen for a reason. People who study religion/are obsessed with religion all of the time often have a "darker" view of things around them, especially world events. One thing leads to another, and soon they find that the only solace they can really obtain further out of their thinking is to convince others to believe the same thing.

I don't believe in anything anymore. This includes but is not limited to: sins, right, wrong, good, bad, beautiful, ugly, crime and justice. I see all of existence as one thing, linked together in an infinite chain of events with no beginning and no end. So I guess I can't exactly say I don't think the world is coming to an end because I suppose it is possible, giving the correct sequence of events leading to it, but I can say I do not think that existence is coming to an end as even if ours does, someone, something else's will continue on.
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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 06:50 AM
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I don't believe in anything anymore. This includes but is not limited to: sins, right, wrong, good, bad, beautiful, ugly, crime and justice. I see all of existence as one thing, linked together in an infinite chain of events with no beginning and no end. So I guess I can't exactly say I don't think the world is coming to an end because I suppose it is possible, giving the correct sequence of events leading to it, but I can say I do not think that existence is coming to an end as even if ours does, someone, something else's will continue on.
This is precisely what troubles me. You lack in belief of anything, and therefor could potentially lend yourself to any negative force that is out there. When you say there is no bad or wrong, you're saying you could kill someone and not feel remorse. You could steal something and not feel guilty.

I seek a world where people believe in something other than just themselves and what they want right there in the moment. That kind of world is quickly vanishing. The indulgence in oneself brings about the worst of people, in my opinion. In an ideal world, I would think people put others first, and themselves second. Think before they act, think before they speak, and realize that what they do affects other people.
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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 08:03 AM
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I hear you....I am 60 and a lot of times I feel exactly the same as you do. The world has changed a lot since I started out, some for the better and some for the worse. I think our world has become too small for us and we tend to become like rats fighting for survival in an overcrowded space. We are exposed to too many things good and bad and have too many choices and it becomes overwhelming. I'm not sure of other places but North American society is way too fast paced for us and we go crazy. Too much is expected of us. If we decide to take a few days, lay in the grass and stare at the sky or watch the stars all night, we are labelled crazy and lazy but these are the kinds of things that we need to do. Have you ever thought of staying with a group of people like Amish or Hutterites or Buddists or similar people to just get back to simple basic life? You would not have to belong or become their religion, just live simply for a time to reflect and catch up to who you are. Most people who feel as you do have a tendancy to stay to themselves as our society is too overwhelming. You are NOT alone in your thinking, there are a lot of people just like you.
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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 03:26 PM
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This is precisely what troubles me. You lack in belief of anything, and therefor could potentially lend yourself to any negative force that is out there. When you say there is no bad or wrong, you're saying you could kill someone and not feel remorse. You could steal something and not feel guilty.

I seek a world where people believe in something other than just themselves and what they want right there in the moment. That kind of world is quickly vanishing. The indulgence in oneself brings about the worst of people, in my opinion. In an ideal world, I would think people put others first, and themselves second. Think before they act, think before they speak, and realize that what they do affects other people.
I don't believe in anything because it is impossible to prove anything. I refuse to believe in something just because someone told me to believe in it. You are correct, I would not feel remorse or guilt, I have no guilt or regrets now. But that does not mean that at this moment, I could kill someone. I am saying that everything is bound to happen. Everything just falls into place and is out of our control. So how could anyone be at fault if they were forced to be born into this world, forced to live with their parents or whomever, forced to see the things they saw, feel the feelings they've felt, etc? There is no absolute right or wrong. Only what people think in their minds is right or wrong. You say an ideal world. That world is ideal for you, not everyone. What someone thinks is an ideal world for them would depend on what that person has experienced in their own life. I think that what you are seeking is impossible.

Have not people always sought out to please themselves? Someone has something that someone else wants, now suddenly they want to be their friend so that they might have a slice of the pie. It is just how it works. Think about religion. All religion is based on doing the "right" things in this life to receive the reward in the next life. People want rewards. They want it all for themselves. I'd like to think that I am not selfish, I try to help other people, but even though I may not realize it I am actually just trying to help myself. I don't think that is wrong, it is just how humans function.

I don't mean to upset anyone, but I wouldn't disagree that this isn't upsetting. I think very much about these things every day. I think about what I do, and how it will effect people.
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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 03:46 PM
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The way we're treating the planet we live on, this type of society will crumble. How it happens I don't know. Even generations close to each other can have really different values, so things can change. Maybe, if we're lucky, we will not crash and burn, but gradually learn a new way of being. The religion of self worshiping and gluttony will not last forever. It will be "in" to be loyal and have a sense of duty. Minimalism will also come back. The way we live, it really has to.

You are young, so you might see positive things within your lifetime. There will be a time of change and struggle. But things will just not get worse and worse and worse to no end. Sooner or later things change in another direction. Change is the only thing we know will happen really.

People need to reconnect with nature. It sounds all flower power but nature is both giving and cruel. When we reconnect with nature we might start to heal as a society. And on a personal level.
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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 06:00 PM
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I’m so grateful to have found this forum. It really helps to know that others fall down into that pit of despair like I do. I’m beginning to feel a bit better from having read these posts.

I feel the same way about the world situation. Global Warming, the threat of nuclear annihilation, dwindling natural resources, over-population, living in a plutocracy here in the U.S. The list goes on … I do believe that most Americans are in denial about these issues. I was encouraged last fall with the Occupy Movement started, but it’s fizzled out. I am 60 years old and I believe that our situation will get much worse before it gets better. The population at-large has not yet reached its breaking point.

My problem today is major discouragement that I’m still living on the poverty level in a rather violent neighborhood. I’ve applied for 60 jobs over the last two years and have only been called to interview 5 times. Thankfully, the weather is nice. I don’t know about you, but cold, rainy weather really depresses me.

This quote from Surviving America's Depression Epidemic by Bruce E. Levine came to mind. I think Levine makes a good case of the hostile environment that we live in and how it negatively affects our mental health.

Psychology and philosophy professor David Livingstone Smith reported in Scientific American Mind in 2005, "Several classic studies indicate that moderately depressed people actually deceive themselves less than so-called normal folks." These studies show that depressed people are more accurate than non-depressed people both in their assessment of their control over events and in judging people's attitudes toward them.
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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 08:22 PM
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I have had very similar feelings to this in the past 2 years, and I feel the exact same way. I don't think it is your depression making you zero in on negative, though it may to some degree. I honestly think that the majority of the westernized youth are very self absorbed, rude, cold hearted human beings. Most of the time when socializing with anyone i feel like either they are trying to establish their superiority, they are trying to make someone feel embarrassed or stupid, or they are judging you deciding with how much respect you deserve. Also they are very superficial and narcissistic I have seen countless times great looking people just treated like kings(or queens) by everyone for no reason, and people who don't look as good get treated with less respect and people don't want to speak with them as much in general. I also think people seem to just respond in a condescending or egotistical manner to everything.

I think it is because there are no outlets that actually promotes treating people with equal respect, having integrity, being humble, honesty etc. The westernized youth mainly warships athletes, reality shows, hip hop artists etc. so most of who they look up to is cocky, self absorbed people who are not very intelligent
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Default Nov 25, 2012 at 11:23 PM
  #11
Modern society the root of my depression? I often feel the same way. People are so caught up in the latest technology now that no one seems to give a bleep about anybody.




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