[LostnLonely]

Hello. I am a 23 year old female that is realizing that I have been depressed for quite some time and have just been trying to ignore it. I guess that can only go on for so long. I have had my share of lifes problems such as growing up in a verbally abusive house, childhood molestation, addictions, I used to cut myself, and have made 1 suicide attempt. I have been in a abusive relationship for almost 6 years which has resulted in the birth of 2 beautiful sons and an extreme loss of self. I have found myself to be resentful and angry towards my life and the few people in it. I dont remember the last time I felt like I had a true friend.. as of right now I have one, who no longer lives in the same city as me and that I talk with once or twice a week. If I didnt have my sons, I would have nothing. I have no idea of who I am or who I am supposed to be... I just feel angry... I just want to cry - about almost anything lately.. and have no one to talk to... which has lead me here. I have not spoken to my doctor seriously about it because I think my main fear has been that people might think I was a horrible mother if I was diagnosed as depressed... what a head trip.. I actually think that I just havent wanted to admit things to myself or others... I havent cared enough/been cared about enough to get help... thats depression and me <font color="blue"> </font>

just wanted to let you know that you are NOT a horrible mother if you are diagnosed with depression. Instead, I would applaud you for getting help with depression because it would help you in your parenting. I hope you get the help you need. Keep talking and reaching out.