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#1
Jan 14, 2013, 12:53 PM
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Hey guys, new poster here. I've been battling social anxiety and depression for years now. I'm 21 years old, I live at home while commuting to school. I have tons of friends, but my idea of fun is different from most. I used to go out and drink back in high school, but now that I've reached the legal age I do not see the fun in it. It seems that the only thing to do when it comes to socializing is going to the bars and getting drunk. Since I do not enjoy drinking, I do not wish to go out to the bars. This leaves me sitting in my house all the time. Recently my mother told me I need to go out and socialize more, and that really got to me. I don't understand why everyone needs to be the same. Maybe I'm just different and I enjoy being alone and watching movies/tv shows.
Of course, this could just be my anxiety talking. Maybe I'm so anxious to go out to the bars that I've convinced myself I do not like drinking. If my mom wasn't so worried about me, I don't think I'd be depressed at all. Her worrying about me makes me depressed, because I just want her to be happy and not worry about me. I honestly just wish nobody cared about me so I wasn't always worried about their feelings. I just want to be left alone. The fact that my father hasn't been around since I was in the fifth grade makes matters worse. My mom has to deal with worrying about me all by herself. Well, that's it. I just needed to talk to vent somewhere. Thanks. |
 optimize990h, RJ78
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#2
Jan 14, 2013, 02:00 PM
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Welcome to PC. I am glad you found it useful to vent your feelings and thoughts. You seem to be aware of what would best help you. I'm sure there will be others here at PC that will be here to read your posts or try to help in some way. Take care.
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#3
Jan 14, 2013, 05:10 PM
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Hi ~ Personally I don't think that you're mother worrying about you would "depress" you. It might upset you do a degree, but depression is something else.
Would it be possible for you to see a therapist? I think it would be beneficial for you to talk to one. The fact that you prefer to be alone, and watch tv, etc., seems to say something. I know that you don't want to go to bars and drink, but there are other says to socialize. If you can see a therapist, please do so. Or else, see the counselor at school. They are trained to help you too. I really think it would be of great help. Please let us know what happens, will you? I wish you the very best. God bless and please take care.  Hugs, Lee
__________________
The truth shall set you free but first it will make you miserable..........................................Garfield |
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#4
Jan 15, 2013, 12:15 AM
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I used to enjoy going out with friends to movies and to eat. Since you like movies, that might be something you could do with a friend once in a while. It can be interesting to get someone else's view on a movie.
If I were your mom, I'd be concerned too. Isolation, for me, leads to depression. |
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#5
Jan 15, 2013, 11:32 AM
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I do go to the movies every now and then with my friends. But my family and friends always want me to go out to the bars drinking, which is something I don't enjoy doing. Where I live, that's pretty much all people my age do for entertainment, go to the bars and get drunk. I'm a college student and I recently got laid off, so I don't have the funds anyways.
I agree you need to socialize, but like I said, the only thing people my age do is go to the bars which is something I don't enjoy. Right now I'm trying to get my life on track, finish school, get a job and I think the rest will come with that. |
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#6
Jan 15, 2013, 08:43 PM
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Quote:
 . You seem responsible and mature to me, maybe more mature than your friends. I am a mum myself, and I know we tend to worry about our kids if we don't understand them. Maybe your mum needs a few hugs and reassurances that you are ok... if you have had depression in the past, yes as a mum I too would worry. Do you do things with your mum, for instance cooking or gardening or walking? Maybe you could spend some 'quality time' with her (quality time is where the best conversations come from) and she could get a better idea where you are coming from?
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#7
Jan 15, 2013, 08:53 PM
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Quote:
People do not need to be the same. Diversity is what makes the world interesting, and I too enjoy being alone. What you need to ask yourself is why.... if you are comfortable with the answer, then don't worry. If it is because you are avoiding other people, then again, ask why.... You might think that (you would be happy if noone cared), but honestly if no-one cared about you, I suspect you would feel far worse than having people care. Yes, it means we have to think about others too, but that is part of growing up and having relationships. Consider it practise for the big intense ones to come  . However, you can't make your mum happy.... noone can make another person happy, happiness comes from inside us. Maybe your mum needs a bit of therapy herself, to help her see that you are growing up and she can let go a bit, not feel so responsible. It could be that your wanting to be alone makes her feel a bit rejected... her anxiety could stem from all sorts of things. Maybe you could see a therapist together. Being a single mum must be very hard, she could probably do with some support.
Last edited by GreyThinker; Jan 15, 2013 at 08:57 PM. Reason: change of format |
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