[allimsaying]

Today was going pretty good. I got to one of my jobs and usually theres a guy there thats pretty upbeat and I look forward to saying hi and catching his positive vibes. Same thing today except another contractor was there first. I knew where my work was so I picked it up to leave while exchanging the usual happy happys with smiley face. New dude (I suppose happy guy knows him well though) butts in and totally contradicts the positive mood and says the opposite of what I said. For petes sake, all I said was it was nice weather. He was dressed down to shorts, short sleeve shirt, no cap, shaved head. Says its cold out when I said it was nice. Put some clothes on!

I was mad for awhile after. I kept arguing with myself that I was right. If he wants to be a downer and doesnt even prepare for the day, why should I get upset? Dammit, Ive been down for years. Why is it wrong to be happy?

[DaniL]

Originally Posted by allimsaying

Today was going pretty good. I got to one of my jobs and usually theres a guy there thats pretty upbeat and I look forward to saying hi and catching his positive vibes. Same thing today except another contractor was there first. I knew where my work was so I picked it up to leave while exchanging the usual happy happys with smiley face. New dude (I suppose happy guy knows him well though) butts in and totally contradicts the positive mood and says the opposite of what I said. For petes sake, all I said was it was nice weather. He was dressed down to shorts, short sleeve shirt, no cap, shaved head. Says its cold out when I said it was nice. Put some clothes on!

I was mad for awhile after. I kept arguing with myself that I was right. If he wants to be a downer and doesnt even prepare for the day, why should I get upset? Dammit, Ive been down for years. Why is it wrong to be happy?

I know how you feel. I try to ignore those negative people, especially when I am having a good day but sometimes it is a struggle. A single drop of negativity can ruin an entire positive day. It is never wrong to be happy but not enough of us truly are. Remember Misery really does love company.

[optimize990h]

Sounds like raining on your parade.It's ok to be happy.Maybe he was unhappy, but it does not help the workplace with negative attitudes.

Take care.

[allimsaying]

Thanks optimize. I get work mixed up with social a lot. You're expected to be social but you're supposed to work too. I usually default to just doing the work cause thats what Im paid for. But still, you have to social. So Im like, its best if we get along, right?

It hurt because the guy was sharing the 'just between us' eye thing with happy guy. I noticed happy guy looked at me in that moment though so I know we still bond.

The anger was a drag. I kept it separate from the other people in the area though and Im glad about that. A lot of people died in that movie. Maybe dude was p.o.'d that I interrupted him and happy guys time. Sometimes feels like I'll never learn this social thing but Im glad I was able to keep it more focused and not carry it with me all day and into tomorrow.

[GreyThinker]

Originally Posted by allimsaying

T He was dressed down to shorts, short sleeve shirt, no cap, shaved head. Says its cold out when I said it was nice. Put some clothes on!

I was mad for awhile after. I kept arguing with myself that I was right. If he wants to be a downer and doesnt even prepare for the day, why should I get upset? Dammit, Ive been down for years. Why is it wrong to be happy?

Obviously the silly guy didn't look out the window before he got dressed, or maybe he just forgot his jacket!! Either way, he was cold, so in that sense he was right, but maybe he could have said so in a way that didn't contradict you... seems like his social skills were a little off too. Nothing at all wrong with you being happy, in fact it is great! and who knows, maybe after you left that guy felt ashamed of himself. Maybe you could just consider it one of those occasions where you gave a smile to someone who did not have one of their own. Hope you are over the angry feelings now.

[allimsaying]

Youre right Greythinker. He was right for himself. As much as I was right for myself. Is it part of healing that we sometimes let the other guy be right, even though he's not? I know, I know, he was right for himself. He should have dressed. Im over the anger. I feel so lost sometimes.

[NoCake]

I think it's normal to get angry over something like this. Just try not to let it get to you. Sometimes people just do odd things. This is coming from someone that makes social faux pas on a regular basis... Just don't dwell on it y'know?

[RomanSunburn]

Maybe next time something like this happens, throw back a joke and a smile. Let YOUR good mood be infectious. And if the other person doesn't take it well? Try to let it be like water off a duck's back. Easier said than done, but the duck expression is cute

[allimsaying]

I'm going to quietly hope that all these peoples thought, ideas and feelings take them far in life and bring them much peace and happiness. I think I already know the answer to that though.

[GreyThinker]

Originally Posted by allimsaying

Is it part of healing that we sometimes let the other guy be right, even though he's not?

I think it is, yes. It is part of being able to step away and not let things that used to be triggers no longer upset us. It is part of being the bigger person even though we might feel like the patsy. I believe in the end it helps us to develop a more balanced personality and more flexibility to deal with all those nasty things life gives us. It gives us practise in just... letting things go. I don't know about others but part of my depression stems from caring too much. So it is part of my healing (when I am able to do it) that I pick and choose what I care about. I have to build a mental shell against a lot of stuff or it pulls me down.

[allimsaying]

Ya know Grey? You're alright.Thats just the kind of thing I imagine happy face saying too. Saw him the next day. Sounded like rude guy made him a bit uncomfortable too. But we're good. And today, the weather was nice again

[shortandcute]

A friend of mine told me once, "People used to push my buttons all the time. Ya know how I stopped it? I got rid of my buttons."

[allimsaying]

Funny and true Ive worked on that and had some success. Its getting better. I'll keep working on it. The other ideas about keeping a sense of humor are great too! Thanks you guys! DaniL I hope you're doing ok!

[ray272727]

Been there. I've found that assuming that the other guy or gal is having a bad day lets me walk away without getting in a bad mood. Hang in there.