[kedm232]

I am a 21 year old female in nursing. I have been diagnosed with depression for about a year; however, it feels as if my parents don't care or understand. I am so sad all the time and sometimes my mom makes a joke regarding my depression. I am so hurt and so upset at this whole thing that I am suffocating!! I have told them many times how I feel and for a while it seems like it's going well and then it goes right back to the same way. I don't know what to do! I feel as if I get no support from the people I love the most. I am sick to my stomach about it.
Another thing that is bothering me is this week, I became volunteer at the Canadian Mental Health Association and my dad is upset because I won't be getting paid to do it. I became a volunteer to benefit myself and help in my recovery. My mom and dad obviously don't understand how I feel and are not helping me in my recovery! Please help!

[Sam2]

Originally Posted by kedm232

I am a 21 year old female in nursing. I have been diagnosed with depression for about a year; however, it feels as if my parents don't care or understand. I am so sad all the time and sometimes my mom makes a joke regarding my depression. I am so hurt and so upset at this whole thing that I am suffocating!! I have told them many times how I feel and for a while it seems like it's going well and then it goes right back to the same way. I don't know what to do! I feel as if I get no support from the people I love the most. I am sick to my stomach about it.
Another thing that is bothering me is this week, I became volunteer at the Canadian Mental Health Association and my dad is upset because I won't be getting paid to do it. I became a volunteer to benefit myself and help in my recovery. My mom and dad obviously don't understand how I feel and are not helping me in my recovery! Please help!

Sounds like you have a couple of different issues going on here. I don't know your mom, but is it possible that her jokes are a reflection of her discomfort about the problem and trying to find a way in?

There is nothing wrong with joining a volunteer at a mental health facility. Sometimes it helps us if we are able to make a difference in someone else's life. You are an adult now, and even if you are living at home, you don't have to tell your parents everything you do. If your Dad thinks that volunteering is a waste of time, then drop him out of the loop. Its just not worth trying to make him understand. Many people see depression as a character flaw or weakness, but most of them have never experienced true depression themselves. I think it is great that you are volunteering. People are more apt to listen to you because you have been there. I can tell a woman that I'm sorry she is in so much pain during delivery of a child, but I can't say that I understand because I have no experience with giving birth. Its kind of the same with depression.

sometimes I think that emotional or psychiatric illness is something that people don't want to deal with. It makes them uncomfortable, and all they have to go by is the junk that they see on T.V. We make mentally ill people out as psychopaths, weirdos, perverts etc. In reality, there are far more people with mental illness that will never even think about hurting someone else.

Can you tell if something triggered your depression?One thing that helps sometimes is to keep a journal of how you feel and the things that happen to you during the day. If you are afraid of someone else getting into it, journals come with locks. Being able to look back is easier than trying to remember. If your depression continues, see if you can find a therapist. Personally, I wouldn't want to go to a therapist where you work. I know that there should be some professional courtesy and things should stay in the room, but I also know that people tend to talk. Especially when it is someone they know. Regardless of whether it is just gossip or out of true concern, it should be between your therapist and you.

I don't know what the payscale of nurses is where you are, but perhaps it would be a good idea to get a place of your own. Either by yourself or with a roomate. They both have their pros and cons. At least you won't feel picked at.

I really hope that things work out for you. Reaching out to others will give you some comfort.

Sam2

[Leed]

Hi ~ I'm so sorry you're a victim of depression. It's a nasty disease and makes one absolutely miserable. I've had depression since I was about 4 or 5. I didn't get any treatment until I left home, because my parents were too busy getting drunk.

I finally went into therapy and it made a world of difference. Perhaps it would help you too. While it certainly did NOT cure the depression, it did help to make me understand a lot of the issues that I'd been carrying around -- the baggage. I was able to get rid of the baggage that had been tormenting me -- but I still had the depression. I have clinical depression, so i'll be on medication the rest of my life. I've been on meds for about 30 yrs.

I do advise therapy. But I also think that volunteering at the mental health facility is a GREAT idea!!! When we help others, we also help ourselves. That's a lot of the reason why I'm here. If i can help just one person, I'll feel much better. And if I can't, well at least I tried.

Like Sam said, perhaps your parents react the way they do is because in their "day and age" mental illness had a stigma attached to it. They may feel very uncomfortable about it, so they joke about it. They may HATE to think that anyone in their immediate family has a mental illness -- "oh gosh, put up black curtains, and don't let anyone see us" type attitude. There are people who just WON'T talk about mental illness -- they talk like it's almost catching! Ridiculous. You might try to educate them, but I fear it may be hopeless. LOL I'm not trying to make light of this, because it's a very serious illness. But some people are so ignorant of this disease that it's almost funny.

I'm sorry you're suffering so. Is there ANY way you can move out? Or is it financially impossible? Do you have a friend you could move in with? That would be ideal if you could. Perhaps you could strive for that in the future. At any rate, we're with you 100%, and keep posting. We'll be here to help. You can vent, whine, get angry, or whatever you feel like posting. We'll be here.

God bless and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[adam_k]

I had a very similar home situation when I was around 18. It is very disheartning to reach out to your family for support and then be rejected. I don't think some people can comprehend what depression really is. I think it is difficult for anyone to know what it is like to not feel any happiness or joy for a time without experiencing what that is like. I don't think my family got how serious it was until i checked myself into a hospitial because I didn't feel safe. I did find help, and better ways to cope. Therapy helped me deal to with these feelings. Being around good friends also helps me. I have a hard time talking to family about this because they don't get it. I try to sorround myself with people in my life that make me feel good and not ashamed for what illnesses I have.

I really like your idea about volunteering. I think you are pretty awesome for wanting to help other people and yourself deal with this. I hope you find people to help support you.