Introduction and general complaining about life

Hi everyone, my name's Alex, I'm new to the forum. I think the idea is for me to spill my problems so here goes. I'm 18 now but my issues began back in school; I was moved up a grade and was still dux of my primary school but I have a stupid inability to care enough to work or study at most things which led to me going on a downwards spiral through high school and scraping an average mark. I took a gap year to get a job and so I'd be the same age as other first years when I started uni, which turned into a massive waste of a year and led to a lot of friction with my parents. I started uni studying journalism, really didn't like it, changed to some more writing-oriented classes and absolutely hated them, ending up giving up on two units (we do four units per semester). Changed uni's and have just started at the new one, studying politics, but so far every class has been dull and pointless and I haven't really made any acquaintances (let alone friends). Speaking of friends, I don't have any and I don't think I've ever had any; I've had some moderate social anxiety which is now improving, but I still usually find it incredibly awkward to talk to people for any length of time. I do have a part time job at a cafe which is vaguely okay as something to get me through uni, although it's only two days a week and again, I'm unable to progress past the "friendly acquaintance" stage with anyone there. I play tennis and piano, becoming incredibly frustrated and sick of both of them, and waste most of the rest of my time on computer games (although to be fair I have nothing else I can think of to do in that time).

The last week in particular has been pretty bad, my parents are away leaving me and my sister at home. I forgot to go to work one day and missed three uni classes because I a) forgot and b) got stuck in a traffic jam. Basically, I feel like I'm falling to pieces. My sister holds or goes to parties every single night, since she has an endless social life and list of friends where I have none, and treats me as a driver to ferry her back and forth between her commitments. Oh, and I just got locked out of my house after driving her to her friends, she takes my house key from the car, I come home, she's taken the spare key as well; don't have any money with me to go to a hotel, can't sleep in my car because I have work early the next morning, so I try to break in through a window in the back door and end up snapping the entire door in half.

Now that you've made it through the details let me give you a brief explanation of my feelings, because those are always fun to read. I feel like I'm wasting my life or that my chances of being happy and fulfilled are slipping away. Feel completely pointless and directionless, can't see how I'm ever going to make it in the world. I always have some major spell of random unhappiness and/or causeless crying during each day. I don't think I'm clinically depressed but I'm pretty sure I'm heading that way.

Thanks for getting through that I'd really appreciate anything you have to say.

Hi Paca,

You got the idea right and did a great job of giving the rundown. The door incident was kind of humorous but I know its a serious matter. The ridiculous happens to us all some times and if you can laugh just a little I think it helps. Sometimes it takes awhile before you can laugh about it tho. How do you think your parents will react?

It sounds like it might be a god idea to talk to a school counselor if one is available. Youve experienced a series of events that could cause you some consequences. You dont want to harm your future by missing class and there is still time to get around in front of things. Major crying daily is something to think about trying to change if it was me.

Hello & Welcome, Pacachomp! Among other things, this stands out to me:
Can you take some time away from the duties imposed on you by your sister and make an investment in yourself? Yes, by all means speak to a psychological cousellor at uni if available to you, and getting a general medical check would also be good. Actually, you've gained some valuable insights into what you don't want to do -- learning that takes much more time for many people. Do you have access to a vocational counsellor?