[SmileBit199]

I've recently come to the conclusion that the single thing that separates successful individuals from unsuccessful one's is the ability to like/enjoy productive activities. Work most noticeably comes to mind.

How and why do we like things?

When I was 16 - 18 I tried numerous times to work out. I'd do it for a couple months and stopped because I wasn't getting anything from it (physically or mentally). Then, when I was 19, everything just clicked. Today, I work out because it's fun. What happened?

There are a few different areas in my life where this happened. What are the common flips that I switched each time? Why can't I recognize those switches in other areas of my life?

Does anyone have any thoughts on this subject?

PS: I'm new here so please be kind to me.

[allimsaying]

Hi Smilebit. Welcome! Sometimes new posts are delayed from appearing in the forums. I think that might be why you havent recieved any replies yet. This probably isnt going to be your best reply but, maybe, things happen for us when we're ready? Sometimes the gates just open and we can walk right in despite previous efforts of trying and trying and not getting where we wanted to be. Synchronicity?

[Marla500]

I have noticed this too, but I don't really know why it happens. but like allimsaying said, maybe we're just ready for it. synchronicity is a nice thought

Hi SmileBit, I think thats such a hard question to answer. I didn't come to this area of psychcentral again until yesterday. I don't know what those common switches are myself. All I know is you can and will recognize them in time. You already realized at 19 that thinhs clicked and working out became fun. What are those other areas you need help with? Obviously depression because you are in this section. Keep talking, keep letting people know what you are feeling and needing help with. And I absolutely agree with what you said. What seperates us individuals is the ability to like and enjoy what we do. I'm sorry I'm not able to answer your question.

[unhappycamper463]

Productive is a relative answer. Michael Jordan practiced basketball his whole life and is putting a ball through a hoop productive? Yea he made more money than any of us can dream about doing it but productive is relative.

People who are good at stuff get utility out of it. That's it. Doesn't matter what it is.

[SmileBit199]

Originally Posted by unhappycamper463

People who are good at stuff get utility out of it. That's it. Doesn't matter what it is.

I think this is too simple of a definition.

I wasn't good at lifting weights when I was in my late teens. Then I got good?

I'm currently student teaching in an elementary school classroom and one of the students has been horrible at multiplication math facts for a while. The student has struggled with these fact for my first five weeks in the classroom. Then a parent came in and talked to the teacher. The student came back over a long weekend and knew her multiplication better than 75% of her peers. Guess how her focus changed between the first 5 weeks and now?

Well, when you're in the teens, the chemistry is still working strongly in various directions. It's like trying on outfits to see which one is the best suit for you.

As you mature, new values become more prominent. The chemistry is a little more calm permitting you to see things from a different perspective and your appreciation for healthful behavior is more important.

People have 3 basic drives: the drive for reproduction, the drive for power, and the drive for social approval. I would say that your appreciation is related probably to the drive for social approval--the feeling-well tone of knowing that you look good, are healthy, and feeling love for yourself and so are able to love others.

When the drives are all in balance, things are at their peak of performance and
permit a very healthy, happy lifestyle, barring no mental illness.

Good wishes.

[SmileBit199]

Originally Posted by genetic

People have 3 basic drives: the drive for reproduction, the drive for power, and the drive for social approval. I would say that your appreciation is related probably to the drive for social approval--the feeling-well tone of knowing that you look good, are healthy, and feeling love for yourself and so are able to love others.

I don't think this addresses the fact that I had those three drives when I wan't successful with my workouts. Between ages 16 - 18 I still wanted girls, power, and status.

Originally Posted by SmileBit199

I don't think this addresses the fact that I had those three drives when I wan't successful with my workouts. Between ages 16 - 18 I still wanted girls, power, and status.

Yes, but you saw things differently as a teenager. You missed that point.
To repeat, the teen years are ones in which life is like trying on outfits to
see which one fits best. Maturity changes things.

Why do you think that the age of a U.S. President must be 38 before
he's even eligible to run for the presidency? It's A-G-E that makes the
difference, both in the intensity of the drives for some and in the
management of the drives. It is supposed that wisdom is effective at
older ages....though that's in question, in my view.