[xrainstormx]

So my parents treat me like %#@&#!. People have been telling me to talk to them but I said no because I know what they would say. They would turn everything on me and somehow blame me. Well it was to much. Everything was getting to me and I didn't want to do something stupid so I talked to them. It was everything I though but worse. I told them they always put me down and they make it seem like they don't care. They treat me like a child even though I am 18. All of this was turned around on me. They were yelling saying that I don't care. I just make then feel bad and I am hard to deal with. I felt like that was the only thing I could do ( talk to them ) and they just shut me down. Now I am left with nothing I know nothing I say will make them treat me somewhat nicer. How do I get through to them? I need help. I can't move out because I don't have them money to. I need them to understand how much the are hurting me but I just tried to talk to them and I just got shut down and yelled at more. Is there anything I can do? I really need help!!!!!!!!

You are 18 its there possibly other relatives or friends you can stay with for a bit? Even now at my age 40plus my parents and I can't get along when living in the same house but get along great. Something about parents that when their children reach adulthood they still consider them children as long as they are living in the family home but like magic or something when they live other places they treat them as an equil. Still haven't figured that stuff out other then the fact that my parent and I get along fantastic as long as I don't live with the parent.

[xrainstormx]

I couldn't go and stay with anyone else. Once I leave I need to make sure that I don't have to come back. I am scared of telling my parents the day I move out because I don't want them to get rough. I really don't know what to do. It hurts so bad. I fell like I am loosing it here.

Hi,
They will treat you like a child even when you're 50. Parents have that way about them.
You hurt their feelings with whatever you said and made them defensive. You may have to apologize and let them know that you do appreciate them as your parents. Try giving them a greeting card or writing out a letter to them telling them what you do like about their parenting.
No matter how wrong they may be in any situation-you have to talk to them with respect when you're living under their roof.
If someone were to say to you "Rainstorm, you're always putting me down and you don't care about me."
How would that make you feel?
Can you describe how you feel so that it's not so hard for them to listen to? Instead of talking to them, maybe you can write what you're feeling so you can take your time and think of what you want to say and word it in such a way that it's not going to insult them.
It's the only thing I can think of.
Good luck with this. PM me if you want.
(((((xrainstormx))))))

[xrainstormx]

Maybe I didn't explain myself well enough. What my parents do and say to me is not right. It brings down myself esteem. I have none. They favor my brother. I get yelled at for everything. If i walk to hard I get yelled at. I can't always eat because certain things will make them made. If I get a phone call they get mad. All of this stuff adds up. Whatever you can think of I get yelled at for. I don't even do anything wrong. How do I get through to them????!!!!!!!!

[Hopefull]

You may not be able to. I find that parents sometimes feel that children are not to share negative emotions towards them. My parents tend to shut me down if I try to complain about anything to do with how I was raised. I have been out of college for a decade! My sister and I still get shut down on the phone if we try to even remotely point out the effect that their negativity had on our self-esteem. Like you, I entered college without any self-esteem and had to be taught to think I am kinda sorta likable.
Advice? Hang in there. Work on getting out of the household. If possible, try to express self. If not (you are the best judge of this), find someone to talk with about it. This might make it easier to live with until you can move out on your own. Are you planning on going to college? If so, this is a great way to get out. How much time to do spend outside of the household? Are you still in school? Have a job? Participate in outside activities? It might help if you find a way to spend time away around others. Is there anyone who reminds you of your strengths? If so, you might try to focus more on what people outside of the home say about you rather than your parents.
As for self-esteem, my sister managed to realize that what our parents said wasn't a indicater of who she was. I didn't figure this out. But, it sounds like you have. I'd suggest that you continually remind yourself that your parents have some kind of issues that make it hard for them. My mom was raised by an overly strict father who was a pastor. He made them go to church a lot and spanked one of the sisters more than the others. So, your parents may have a bad childhood in their background. Of course, I'm only pointing this out as a way to try to remind that you can still be a good, lovable person even if you parents don't show it. You may be hard to live with like I was. But, you may be struggling with low self-esteem and other issues that just make it hard for you. Try to be understanding towards yourself.

[xrainstormx]

I work and go to school. I have a boyfriend and hang out with him a lot. My parents won't always let me go out though. Even if I tell them I just need a get out for a bit. I think it is so depressing to think about. It is like a black whole and they won't understand how they make me feel. Even though I have tried what is the point anymore. It didn't do me anygood.