[WorriedJohnyBoy]

How can you deal with life knowing you have 40 to 70% lifetime risk of
developing deadly pancreatic cancer? Genes were identified for
hereditary pancreatitis which increases risk tremendously from
developing the deadly disease. My mother passed away at 49 and
grandfather around the same age.

I've been a hypochondriac my whole life, dealing with heath anxiety
issues. Visiting the various doctor over 30 times in 4 years. I
thought I had brain/neck/lung/testicular/liver/oral/skin cancer. All
came back negative. Now the new findings literally left me on the
floor crying for hours.

I am only 30 years old with a 4 month old boy who I adore. I can stand
the thought of leaving him behind and not being able to see him grow
up. I already suffer from extreme health anxiety which with new
findings that are now leaving me in a deep depression. I find even
hard to look at him without crying.

My life is slow and boring. The thought of laying in my death bed
regretting all the things I could have been or should have done to be
happy. I never live in the moment. My life consist of sitting around
working on websites all day.

Please someone help me with tips, words of wisdom or anything! To top
it off, I have the worst insurance for mental health, which is Kaiser.
Only group therapy is offered and you're able to see counselor once
every 6 weeks

Every article I read -- and I read many of them, all point to the
increased risk. It's on my mind all day and night. I cannot eat due to
my nerves. Even when I'm having a good time, it's still in back of my
head.

You would think knowing this info would help diagnosing something
early, but it's unlikely. My dream come true would to live to be 90
like my other grandparents.

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, WorriedJohnyBoy!

Originally Posted by WorriedJohnyBoy

How can you deal with life knowing you have 40 to 70% lifetime risk of developing deadly pancreatic cancer?

I don't know. This knowledge would be frightening for anyone, but it came to you, and you are already suffering from severe health anxieties.

Have you asked this question of the counselor you get to see once every six weeks? Do they appreciate the severity of your anxiety?

In my own mix of medications is an antianxiety drug. The problem is that it contributes to my constant lack of energy. I don't know how such a drug would affect you.

May the other grandparents' genetics prevail in you.

[CharactorAssassin]

Do you need to be afraid of this idea that has been put in your head? What if you had no knowledge of this? Can you rise above sickness and disease? Can you get a second opinion?

[WorriedJohnyBoy]

Originally Posted by CharactorAssassin

Do you need to be afraid of this idea that has been put in your head? What if you had no knowledge of this? Can you rise above sickness and disease? Can you get a second opinion?

I went looking for it and I got what I asked for by paying for genetic counseling. I know my quality of life would be better if I didnt know that since I never developed any pancreatitic attacks typical to hereditary pancreatitis.

[Idiot17]

((((worriedjohnyboy)))). I'm sorry but i don't have any advice for you. Though sending lots of hugs your way.

[dg1983]

Hey,

The only advice I can give is to work as hard as possible to ignore that fact. I have also recently received news that I have a bone disease that will probably cause my face to become disfigured and I may go blind. It's pretty much incurable and I am here in Ontario waiting over 4 months for a second opinion because our healthcare system is horrible for wait times.

I can relate to the regrets...I knew I had this big lump on my face for about 4 years, I didn't check it out because I honestly hated my life and had no cares for my health. I honestly thought I would have killed myself or I would have died young and well before any physical manifestation of a disease could kill me. Now that I am not as depressed, that's when I find out I have this bone disease...I could have caught it earlier if I was able to value my life. So I do feel depressed when I think about that.

Anyways, I keep myself occupied. I had school to keep me occupied, I made sure I called people, took care of my family, just anything.

I avoided doing Internet searches for the operation procedures...they were all gory and I ended up fearful and I cried for almost an hour, just knowing what will be inevitable for me.

What I say to myself is that if it is meant to be, then it is meant to be. I think I have given myself up to that fact. My genetic disorder is a fluke, it's not even passed down from parents, it's a mutation when I was forming in the womb. So I am powerless against it. I have to give up that sense of control, because I have none. I can't make the waiting list for the specialist to shorten and I can be seen immediately.

So yeah, we both don't really know what will happen to us, it seems you are still waiting for the cancer to manifest itself and I am waiting to see how far this disease will deform my face. But the only thing I do is to accept how it is. Honestly, the only way I get over it is to try and live my life in the highest quality way I know...so for me it means spending time with my niece and nephew, my mom and dad. I just try to live life as normal as I know how to.

[CharactorAssassin]

These are just curses with no mention of miracles that do happen.