[spaceid]

So, everything is bothering me. Everything! I got into a car accident two weeks ago and my car was totaled. I cannot afford to buy a new car or lease a car. My mother took it somewhere to get it fixed and they gave her such a hard time about it that it is stressing me out. The car is worth less than the repair costs, but my mother and I don't have a choice. The car repair shop wanted to keep the car so they could fix it and sell it so they were using all these scare tactics on my mother to try to get her to leave it with them. I'm really angry about that.

Then earlier today, my boyfriend said something that really hit a nerve and I can't stop thinking about that either. These past few months have been insanely stressful and I am beyond depressed.

Now, in a few hours I'm going to be stuck on a car trip for 7 hours with three classmates I don't even know that well. We are going on class trip to another state where there is going to be no cellphone service or internet all weekend. That isn't what is terrible, but I'm in no mood to be stuck out in the middle of nowhere with people I barely know. All I want to do is spend my whole weekend crying and alone. I feel so frustrated! I'm really dreading this trip. And I just want to hide.

[Rohag]

Hello, SpaceID. I suppose you're already off on your adventure. Adventuring while depressed is...stressful.

How did things turn out? Did you manage to get gently acquainted with the others, or was it traumatic? Here's hoping it was more the former and less the latter...

[Leed]

Bless your heart. I pray that your trip went better than you expected. I hope you were able to get closer to your "friends." Sometimes these things end up better than we think.

You certainly have been in a lot of stress lately. I'm really sorry.

Since it sounds as tho you're in a financial bind, I doubt you can afford therapy. But can you talk to your doctor about getting on an antidepressant? He could even give you some samples. Doctors always have samples of medications, and if you tell him about your financial situation (don't be proud!) I'm sure he'll help you out. Please talk to him -- you need some help!

I wish you the very best. Please keep us informed as to how you're doing, ok? God bless and take care. Hugs, Lee

[spaceid]

Thanks everyone.

The trip was okay. I didn't have any problem spending time with my classmates, but we had to do a group lab and I just felt really left out. This class is a core class for my major, but not everyone is the same major. Some are just taking it for fun. What's really bringing me down is that I feel like most of the people, even the people where this isn't their major, knew exactly what to do and could have good discussions about it. I, on the other hand, felt like I had no idea what was going on and how to do the lab. I barely said a word while everyone had to put in their two cents about what to do. It got to the point where I couldn't pay attention anymore and was very overwhelmed by the whole process. By noon I was exhausted and we worked on the lab until 9pm that night.

I guess I'm doubting my major and I hate that I'm not as quick to pick things up like my other classmates. I am also older than all of them by 8-10 years so I don't feel like I can relate that much. The major is difficult and very intensive, but I feel like I am failing at what I wanted to do. I wanted a PhD, but I'm still an undergraduate with grades that will most likely not get me into grad school. I just feel very tired and like I cannot think straight and every semester it just gets worse.

I used to see a therapist, but my insurance company was giving me so much grief about whether they would pay my bills I just stopped going. I was sick of having the stress of constantly calling them after the would reject my bills over some typo that I didn't make.

Plus, I have something else bothering me about my relationship that has been sitting in the back of my head since August. Which I think about everyday and constantly analyze. I'm not really sure what to do anymore or how to see my doctor about it.

[Vossie42]

It's so hard to do well in school when you're depressed. I'm sorry to hear that things are difficult for you now. I've been there. It's hard to string more than two words together to form a coherent thought. That's what depression and stress did to me. My brain was so fuzzy the whole time I was in school. Group discussions were definitely not my forte since I was never quick with a response. What I've learned since then is that many people are just winging it. They don't come up with well-thought out responses. They just say what's on the tip of their tongue and hope to bluff their way through. So, you make think that everyone is making such great contributions to a discussion when really they're just bs'ing their way through.

It's also difficult to be older than everyone else in the class. At age 44, I'm in college for the second time. I have to make an effort to get some of the young folks to talk to me on a social basis. Fortunately at my school there are a number of students not in their twenties, so I don't feel like an outcast.

As for the group project, maybe the discussions are not your forte as they weren't mine. (I'm lousy at thinking on my feet.) Maybe you are better at writing up the report or finding holes in their logic. Those are valuable skills. You can make your contribution that way.

Is it summer break for you at school yet? It sounds like you could use some time to unwind. Let us know how you're doing. We care.

[spaceid]

It is almost summer break. I have less than a week of classes then another week is for finals. Luckily, I only have one final this year.

I'm feeling better today, but last night was pretty hard. The simplest little thing that my boyfriend said pretty much made me go over the edge and I started crying. But it was not too bad. My boyfriend admitted to me that he was pretty upset about things happening to him at school this year and he understand my frustration. We're both pretty worn out and need a break.

Today I found out that the rental car I had been using since my car accident is not being paid for by the insurance company anymore. They didn't even warn me. Now I owe $200 more than I should. Calls to the insurance company came up with no help. No one wants to accept that someone made a mistake in communication and I'm stuck with the bill. My car still isn't fixed since the hood was only made for 2 years and they are having problems finding one. So far my mom and I have spent $530 on the car and have got nothing to show for it. This is really frustrating, but I have to focus on school. Luckily, my mom can take me to work/school tomorrow and my boyfriend will bring me home.

It is just annoying that I think every year that this year must be better than the last, but that doesn't seem to happen.

Thank you guys for the advice and hugs. It means a lot knowing that people are willing to listen.

[Pierro]

Hi, Maybe it might be a blessing in disguise?

[Pierro]

Spaceid, When I said it might be a blessing in disguise. I meant the road trip not all your car troubles. Sorry about that.