[daffodils]

I haven't been on here in a while. I guess as a whole I feel like I've been declining though I'm not sure why.
However something occurred a few weeks ago in regards to some things I've been battling with, which I don't really want to go into too much detail about right now, but I feel like it's the straw that broke the camel's back. Nobody wants to talk to me anymore, I feel like everyone has just turned against me and I just want things to be right. I've always had a weird complex about feeling rejected and I'll admit I can let things get to me way too easily but things have just been weird lately. I'm so used to feeling numb and suddenly I feel so ashamed, guilty, scared, disgusting and terrible. I feel physically weak and my body hurts, my sense of perception with everything is skewed, I can't breathe, nothing feels right, physically or mentally. I hate that I simultaneously need people so much yet I somehow push them away or ruin things. I've been going days without sleeping for months and now to make things worse when I do manage to fall asleep I can't stay asleep for more than an hour. It's just taking a huge toll on me. I'm trying to see a therapist again and I've been trying to find one nearby that offers a sliding scale but even that will make things tight financially. I'm not expecting any miracle work but I just want to be able to function normally.

[optimize990h]

Well, I am certain you know your situation best, and that a visit with a therapist would help you focus on therapeutic treatment plan that will get you going in the right direction. You have insights that will help you accelerate the best you can. Keep coming back to PC, don' t be afraid to share in PC chat, PC posts and with other PC members.

[CharactorAssassin]

We are a product of our environment. You can use hypnosis to change self limiting beliefs that you have even at the cellular level. Its true. Look up Bruce Lipton on youtube.

[bharani1008]

Thee isn't much ti go on in your profile so I don't know if these issues have already been addressed or not. So I'm just going to jump in----
First, paranoia is one symptom of depression. I was really surprised and happy to learn that. For me, when I know something is a product of my disease it kind of distances myself from them and I don't identify as much with them. Most of the other things you describe have also been pointed out to me by my psychiatrist as symptoms. So take heart and see a professional. If one doesn't seem responsive or helpful try another and another and another. Call your local hotline and talk to someone. Post here and read other people's post so you will see that you are not alone.
Keep posting and let us know how you go on
I hope you feel better

[Fuzzybear]

((((((( daffodils )))))))