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#1
Why do I bother with...anything? I know that if I try to talk to someone in real life, they look around for a better offer. If I need a hug, they all turn their backs to me. If I say something stupid, they all instead of forgiving me, never let me forget it and move on. If I reveal a secret (like these: I still have a blankie, but I don't use it to suck my thumb, I just sleep with it in my arms, I have a nightlight, I never took it out, I lay awake sometimes and just cry silently, in the still of the night so no one hears my despair and pleas for help, some kind of help, I've tried giving myself bruises and failed, no one knows what I'm really suffering-they all see my 'happy face', and I'm only rarely actually happy) they don't be supportive, they tear me down with looks. I'm at the end of my rope, I've about had it. I don't know what to think about myself and life anymore. Is it good? Bad? I don't know anymore. And I don't even care that I just told the world secrets that not even my own mother knows.
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allimsaying, bharani1008, H3rmit, lostinbooks
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Account Suspended
Member Since Oct 2012
Posts: 1,629
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#2
When others are hard on you, dont be hard on yourself. Dont give in to what they said about you, it isnt true.
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#3
Everyone is pretty immature around this age. The most important thing you need to focus on is what you think about yourself. It doesn't matter what other people think about you but I promise you that not everyone hates you. Do you think your mother would be supportive if you told her about what's been going on?
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Anonymous100111
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Veteran Member
Member Since Sep 2012
Location: India
Posts: 565
12 797 hugs
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#4
Be careful to whom you expose yourself. It's in our nature to jostle for social position. Most people aren't even aware of what they are doing. Because they are not aware of their motives they also are not aware of the impact of their actions on other people. They do whatever it takes to maintain their position in society.
I remember trying to get understanding from my peers. It never happened. They just couldn't understand and I made them very uncomfortable so they turned away. Try to find a safe place to express your pain. You may want to to first talk to a counselor and get their direction. Perhaps they can explain your position to your parents. Otherwise call a helpline and talk to people who are trained to understand you and help you find a new way of coping with your life. There's nothing essentially wrong with you. If you are depressed then you have a disease like diabetes. It's not your fault any more than having brown hair would be your fault. PC is a safe place. Try to connect here with people who understand your feelings. You are not alone. You can get better. We care about you. Your friend ,bharani1008 |
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Member
Member Since May 2013
Location: Washington State
Posts: 240
11 266 hugs
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#5
I'm so sorry. We care about you Italianfire. Hang in there. This is a safe place for you to rant. Most of us have been there.
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