[unhappycamper463]

Do you guys ever feel like maybe the medication finally works but it doesn't make a difference? I guess chemically I feel better but I'm still exhausted all the time, not sleeping, lonely, bored and I guess that still leads to what it was before. I don't really think it ever ends does it? What's the point of persisting? I really don't know why I get out of bed in the morning. It's just the same thing all the time.

[optimize990h]

You are not the only who has had these feelings. Everyone who has depression knows these periods of "stinky thinking" will pass like a fart in the wind. This is not meant to denigrate what you experience, but to tell you are not alone. Myself, I just forward march for I know I am to continue " trying to find out how it ends", like a book.

[Vossie42]

Meds are supposed to provide a bottom for your feelings - enough so that you don't feel suicidal. Then you can work on the cognitive and emotional aspects of depression and start getting better. As you recover from depression, you feel less tired, less lonely, less bored. That said, I've found that the side effects of medications, or the medication itself, can cause the exhaustion, confusion, etc. that impede my ability to work on the depression.

It's hard to know how much of one's misery is due to the depression itself or to the medications. All you can do is to keep on working on the depression and get the medication changed and/or adjusted. I know that for me, if meds are the reason for my misery, no amount of working on the depression will make me feel better. Chemical imbalances have to be addressed with meds.

If you're taking care of yourself physically (getting enough sleep, eating a balanced diet, exercising several times a week, etc.) and you're making an attempt at dealing with the depression (i.e. meeting someone for coffee when you would rather stay in bed), and you're still feeling like you've described, I would say it's your meds.

Talk to your doctor. There's a bunch of meds out there. You may have to push your doctor to try out different dosages and meds. If s/he won't do it, find another doctor. You don't know until you try.

[bharani1008]

I totally agree with Vossie42. Keep your dr. informed of how you are feeling. If you aren't getting relief then you probably need a change. You may need to change many times. It took over 2 years to get my meds correct.
Good luck and keep on trying.

[Vossie42]

It took over 20 years for me to find the right meds. That's only because the right meds for me hadn't been invented yet until Lamictal came along. I think I am an extreme case. I lasted this long because I was always afraid of botching a suicide attempt. Good ol' fear of failure! Anyway, that's not to say that previous meds didn't help at all -just not very much. Hang in here and keep trying!

[unhappycamper463]

I don't know how you put up with this for 20 years. I'm running out of ideas on what I'm supposed to do. I'm just exhausted.

[allimsaying]

If youre exhausted, can you rest? Sorry, I dont know if you work. The reason I ask is because a work schedule can be disruptive to getting the right rest. If you're not working you could be exhausted because your brain is working overtime. Im not sure if your thoughts are clear or not? Are you feeling 'spacey' a lot?

An interest in something will help build up energy but if your at the bottom maybe try and get the rest you need if you can first.

[unhappycamper463]

Yea I work and it kills some of the sleep I get. Not usually spacey but sometimes I feel like I'm watching myself go through life. I wish I had an interest in something. Just feel so apathetic all the time. The stuff I used to enjoy is just flat now.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by unhappycamper463

Yea I work and it kills some of the sleep I get. Not usually spacey but sometimes I feel like I'm watching myself go through life. I wish I had an interest in something. Just feel so apathetic all the time. The stuff I used to enjoy is just flat now.

I totally understand this! I am so bored too. Its like I'm stuck in my own life. Just like a hamster spinning the wheel. The only thing that helps me is getting off my butt and going somewhere. If I feel like I have something to do its not so hopeless.

I don't know if its the medication or not, I've been on different cocktails for years, I am stable now, not suicidal not depressed, just BLAH! Blah is the perfect word for how I feel every day. Almost like I'm just existing.

My advice is do something. Go somewhere. That's the only way I get through my mundane life.

Good luck, and feel better soon. (Oh and posting on PC is an awesome way to get your mind off things)

[unhappycamper463]

Thanks PH. I think blah pretty much describes everything I feel these days. Going on a trip in a couple weeks so we'll see.

I just keep putting one foot in front of the other. I refuse to let the bastard win.

[allimsaying]

That is a good reply jeffro

May the camping gods be with you on your journey camper. I love travel and being in the same city, same building, same streets, same same same gets to me too. The past few days Ive felt like a trip might be coming on. Lord, help me appreciate the spot Im in.