[Cinema]

I miss my hunny bunny so much and everything reminds me of him. So I'm pretty sad and lonely at the moment. I couldn't get out of bed till 11 am, and I only did then to watch my show.

[spondiferous]

I feel like I'm losing my grip, maybe for real this time. My whole life all I have ever remembered consistently feeling is like I'm just trying to hold on, just trying to get...where? To a safe place? To a stable place? Just riding out the storm? How many times can a person do this? How long does it go on for? How long can a person survive depression? 25+ so far...this one feels like a bad one...so exhausted, can't bring myself to do anything at all.

[smallwhitedog]

Originally Posted by bluedolphin92

...he's yet to respond =/ I know that he would have been at work when I sent the text and I don't know whether or not he had any plans for this evening, so I'm hoping that he's just waiting until he has some real free time to respond because he wants to talk about it seriously, though part of me is worried that I've scared him off or something.

I hope you won't think this is ridiculous, but Women Venus / Men Mars said (to my amazement) that men chase and chase and then run away. The woman should ignore him at this point. The thing is, I recognized it as something that goes on in my life.

Love makes the world go round, and also wonky.

I really hope this turns out well for you!

[tigerlily84]

I'm so glad the week is over. It's not that I have any plans, but I'm glad that I can just sit at home over the weekend and not worry about work. I found a job posting at a local community college for a secretary position. I already have the letters of recommendation that are required; the only other thing I need is a typing certificate. Too bad the employment agency that I went to ran out of them. The woman at the front desk told me to come back on Monday, so I guess I'll wait until then.

[lindammarie]

I think my dh and I will take a day trip tomorrow. That will be much better than staying at home and feeling helpless.

[shortandcute]

Originally Posted by TerryL

i'm not sure what kind of pain you are in but have you tried turmeric? it is good for inflammation. or have you considered medical marijuana?

I've never tried tumeric, but I have heard it's terrific! I've thought about trying medical marijuana.

[Rose76]

I am very demoralized.

[gracez]

Have you watched the new Wallace and Gromit "A Matter of Loaf and Death?" It's on vimeo:



I actually laughed! How nice.

Acupuncturist gave me some chinese herbs they think will help with sleeping. Only slept a hour or 2 last night so can't wait to see.

It was a pretty rough week at work. Had to deal with a lot of complaining. It seemed like everything broke down at the place. Well, at least they were not complaining about how I do my job. The complaining was about the secondary aspects of my job. But still, it's very draining having to hear complaining every day. That doesn't happen very often.

I got some news from the doctor that was a bit of a disappointment. I have to go for a biopsy sometime. I thought that I was getting better, but apparently not. I feel like I do all I can to take good care of myself and this happens. It has not been a good day as I had to deal with that and went to the pool area and meet some not so nice people. It seems very common to meet people in the pool area that are not nice. And I tried to me nice to them.

[themonster7]

I'm ready for this to be over. A new semester starts August 19th so I need to be normal, I need to make friends. I'm, for the millionth time, trying to ignore the bad and only think positive thoughts. Just get through these last 17 days... And I will be around people again.

[tealBumblebee]

Still up from yesterday. Had a kind of manic (for lack of better words) moment today (lol, my coworkers said I was like a squirrel all over the place), but i'd rather be happy and hyper than the alternative. Depressive thoughts there, but mood has remained consistently relaxed.

[Rachel.i]

Originally Posted by lindammarie

I remember hearing that what kids learn by age 6 will stay with them for life. I don't know if that's so, but I think that things which get reinforced over and over and over to us become our truth. My mama died when I was 3 years old. Beginning then and continuing to now, I've always felt like I was a burden to everyone around me.

I know you said you didn't need a response, but I wanted to let you know that I relate to what you're saying and that your venting often helps me figure out stuff in my own life.

(((((Rachel)))))

I'm so sorry your mother died so young, Lindammarie.

By age 6 I hadn't heard much bad about me: I was the youngest at that time, and, I think, my parents' favorite. But by age 9 that had turned diametrically opposite, due to several reasons. Then I was the burden, scapegoat, and more. Till this day, in some ways, still, though I've never asked them for anything.

Well I hope some of what I say unlocks some areas that can help exploration in others' issues... one can't begin to solve an issue if unaware of it.

((((Lindammarrie))))

There are so many things in life to do. I like being up and positive. I hate the downs and depressions.
UPS
My daughter is here and we are going to the pool. Later I get to work my part time job bartending at the club.
DOWNS
Money is beyond tight and its getting me down. I cannot imagine how out of work people cope with it.
I am blessed beyond measure and yet still find things to complain about. UGH!

[herethennow]

really have no energy to try to participate in this forum... so i guess i shall stay away for awhile

still feeling like crap. what's new in the life of depression... nah T won't help me.

[Nammu]

no purpose, no animation & too much ennui.

melting......

[lifelies]

I'm feeling exhausted and tired today too... Hopefully Lana is now co-conscious with me so that's good.
I desperately want to go out of this depressive episode... I feel like real cr##.
Allie
Lifelies

[bronzeowl]

I feel as though I'm barely here, barely alive. I'm not well. Not well at all.

[Rose76]

As I read the posts above, I'm struck by how I'm not alone in feeling so bad.

[fading99]

I feel like my life is a ridiculous, never-ending slow torture. Just don't feel that I belong here. Everyday another piece of me dissolves, and soon there won't be anything left.

[Rachel.i]

My oldest sister, the Narcissist/Sociopath, has really corrupted the relationship between myself and my mother. Nothing new, but my mother is 82 and there's not much time left. You'd think having stolen all my mother's money, being married and divorced six times by age 45 (my sister), my mother would realize. But no, as one of my sister's ex-husbands said to me last week, "Your mother will never believe that your sister's a chronic liar. You and I know it, but your mother is in denial and always will be." I can't even talk to my own mother without everything I say being repeated to Ms. Control Freak, and her opinion being given on what I say, and relayed back through my mother. Crazy!

Sorry. Just venting again. Seeing my pdoc Monday and it won't be too soon.

[Nammu]

Seems like many of us are in a down cycle. Soul sucking sun shining steadily & steadfastly, I blame global warming, partly.

[James franko]

Deep breaths over and over in the quiet listen to your voice. Repeat over and over until your subconscious mind believes it. Say you are not alone. You have a purpose. You are a great person. Over and over and over. Wright these words place in your pocket commit to reading these words 20 times a day for 6 weeks. Before the 4th week you will start feeling different replace sentences every 6 weeks with positives. Do it for you and your loved ones. Franko

[NJBlues]

Down today.

[Rachel.i]

Suicidal ideation all this past week. Ugh! Not that I'd do it, but I gotta get in a better place. Don't wanna be in this space, where I can't appreciate who/what I have to be thankful for. Trying, but my mind won't get with it. Holding on to my hopes for Monday. If I hadn't been out of town Thursday, I coulda seen my pdoc. Monday it is, need to get back on my med. I'll be ok, but please hurry, Monday.

[Sadeyes3533]

I just wish I could asleep one night to never wake up again I'm a total failure and not emotional connections so really what's the point of life.