[icaniwillchange]

We were sophomores, the year I just finished. I was 16, I think he was 17. After I got back from my RTC, he had moved into my school and was in band with me. That's how we met.

I was very sick from my anorexia and bulimia and I passed out on the stairs at school. He was there. That's how we started talking, because he messaged me on FB later. He would groom me completely, complimenting and comforting me, trying to make me feel better.

So I opened up to him about things and he was always trying to get me to do drugs with him. I always refused until I became suicidal again... He then became my gateway. He told me he loved me so he would help me out.

So on Valentine's Day, after a premeditated week I wrote my note and he bagged the pills and razor blade. We met in an abandoned stairwell above the band hall. He kissed me, and I kissed him back because I was afraid he would back out if I didn't. Then he gave me a lot of pills and I took it, and then I slit my wrist while he watched.

I don't remember a lot, but there was a lot of blood and I was on the ground and then there were a lot of people there, but he was gone. I was getting asked all sorts of questions until I was taken away in an ambulance.

His parents covered up for him at the school, saying they had no idea he had a problem with drugs even though he told me they caught him with pot a week or two prior. I think they took him out of school before he could get kicked out and that's the last thing I heard about him because I was hospitalized for a long time.

I just don't know... What should have happened to him if we had pursued it with the law or school?? I get lots of anxiety and panic thinking back on it. I feel awful. What should I do to cope and what should I do to handle him?

[optimize990h]

Hi, icaniwillchange. I welcome you to PC.

Once you have 5 approved posts, you can use the PC private message PC members who you think might be able to give you feedback and answer any of questions or lead you to the answers. in the other posts a member has shown you the links to forums you might need to post to. Sometimes member who responds to your post might turn out to help you with the PC website.(looks like you got the idea of where to post in what forum! )

Oh, after 5 posts, you can enter the chat rooms.e.g. Support room, health room, social rooms, special social rooms members can create, plus others. These chat rooms are an additional resource that can be helpful with support.

[Sam2]

This is not the time to worry about what the law will do or won't do with your friend. Like you, he has a problem, and it needs to be taken care of. His parent's denial, though understandable, isn't of any help.

Suicide pacts are just plain bad things to get into. If you are suicidal and someone wants to help you die, they are not your friend. A friend would help you find a counsellor or stay with you. Secondly, suicide pacts often wind up with one person dying and the other living. Imagine living with the guilt that the other person had died.

I know this is a difficult time in your life, but right now, getting help has to take priority over everything else. I can't tell you what will happen to your friend. Alot of it depends on whether or not he has been in trouble before, his drug history and the laws concerning aiding a suicide attempt. That is for him and his family to sort through though. Please stay in whatever kind of councelling you are in.

I know you feel badly about your friend, but before your friendship goes any further, he has to get help and learn how to manage whatever demons are eating at him. Right now, use your family and other friends as support systems and lean on the people who truly care about you. Not the ones that want to exit this world with you. You have too much to offer though you probably can't see that now. Learn from your experience so that it isn't completely wasted, and perhaps one day you will be able to use your experience to help someone else.
Sam2

[unaluna]

I'm not a lawyer but you got me curious so I googled it. I think the law changed in texas maybe in 1973 to make your situation a misdeanor for your friend, a felony if you had died, if it were proven he had provided the means. It would basically be an assisted sui, like dr Kevorkian. Before 1973 it was okay in texas, from what I google. Interesting.

[adam_k]

Your friend was very destructive for you. A true friend would have helped you get better and try to work on the things that made you feel so bad that you chose to do what you did. I can't say why he encouraged you instead of helping, but he has definitely a bad influence. I'm sorry you went through so much pain, only to reach out to someone and have them lead you towards self destruction. Your friend should have gotten in trouble, but the law is murky on this issue.

I think that is a side issue. I would make sure he is out of your life and start going to therapy to learn how to process this trauma and begin to get your life into a better place. Having attempted myself, I can say it isn't something that goes away or you forget about. You sound like you need help to cope with it, along with all of the issues that brought you to this decision. I hope you find the help you need and can begin to sort your life out. Good luck.

[Ultra Darkness]

The fact that he was pushing you towards drugs at all was a bad sign. Drugs are bad news for anyone, but they can be disastrous when you're already unwell.