[made93]

I have been struggling with panic disorder, depression, and insomnia for almost a year now. I am on klonopin and remeron. I see a counselor every other week and a psychologist every few months. Every anti-depressant i have been put on does nothing for me. I was on Zoloft and then Prozac and they both didnt work. The last time i saw my psychologist i was 89 pounds when im usually 110ish. He then told me about remeron and how it can make you gain weight, which I really needed that. It worked miracles for I'd say about a month and i got to 107 and slowly but surely the crying spells are back, the feeling of having no energy or motivation to do anything. I dont want to do anything except to curl up in a ball and cry. I feel uncomfortable around my bestfriend and boyfriend when I feel this way and I can be a real *****, no matter how hard i try. I am sick of making my boyfriend feel unwanted when I feel this way. My mood changes are awful. One minute I am happy and then in a second, ***** mode. It is just so hard to express my feelings to people who haven't experienced depression or anxiety themselves because they just do not understand. I called my psychologist and told him crying spells are back and my weight got back to 100 so he upped my dose and i started taking that a few days ago, so im hoping it will help again because when i first started remeron i was finally starting to feel like my old self and loved everything that was going on in my life. Everything still is going good in my life, it is just hard to be thankful and enjoy it when my depression is this bad... any advice?

[Rohag]

Hello & Welcome, Made93!

The results may be hit and miss, but it seems you are already doing the right things.

Originally Posted by made93

I called my psychologist and told him crying spells are back and my weight got back to 100 so he upped my dose...

Good for you - a disturbing, disruptive symptom reappeared, and you did not wait for the next appointment but called your doctor immediately. I wish you could count on an increased dose hastening desired effects.

Scads of resources and suggestions exist for depression, but how much energy and focus do you have to apply them? What works or may work for you?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by made93

I have been struggling with panic disorder, depression, and insomnia for almost a year now.

It is just so hard to express my feelings to people who haven't experienced depression or anxiety themselves because they just do not understand.

I called my psychologist and told him crying spells are back and my weight got back to 100 so he upped my dose and i started taking that a few days ago, so im hoping it will help again because when i first started remeron i was finally starting to feel like my old self and loved everything that was going on in my life. Everything still is going good in my life, it is just hard to be thankful and enjoy it when my depression is this bad... any advice?

Yes, I see one thing, that may be of useful advice from myself. I feel like I've had depression, anxiety and insomnia most of my life. I accept, these are things, that come up in my life, from time to time, they just are part of me.

Trying to explain to others 'what we feel', is a tough one. One of the things I've worked out in therapy on and off through much of my lifetime, is being able to pinpoint the specific things people say or do, that can upset me. And when I am able to take that momentary step back, see hey...when you say this, I feel that...when this happens to me, I feel this.
That's when it's easier to feel a better handle on emotions.
It's a lot tougher than it appears when I write it out. Just know, as you continue to work on things in counseling and with your psychologist, it takes time. 1 year, in the grande scheme of things, is literally a drop in the bucket.
You are doing well, to pay attention and contact your psychologist when things aren't feeling right for you.
Anxiety(panic in your case) can play a role in the insomnia.

[bharani1008]

I applaud your pro-active stance with regard to you depression. You are doing everything right. I would suggest that you share some information about depression and anxiety with your bf and best friend. You need to be sure that they don't take your mood swings personally. it will be easier for them to be supportive if they feel relaxed with you.
It can take some time to get control over your condition. It took 2 years for my pdoc to get my medications balanced. I just kept on going to him and he kept on trying. So the answer to your question is a resounding YES you can get better.
Once again-- you are showing great courage and I'm convinced you will succeed.