everyone moves on in life????

Everyone i know is moving on with life. They all got passed their struggle and they are doing something, making a life for themselves. I feel so stuck, so out of it. Why can't i do the same? Why am i still stuck in the same rut i was in for the past year? How is it they are doing something, while I'm wasting my time away, doing nothing at all. I feel so out of place. I don't understand them anymore, now i have no one to understand me. No one to even tell my struggles and frustrations to.

Advice anyone? Anything?

Don't worry. In the life of each person there is a phase of stagnation and development stage. During the times of stagnation do you feel that you will not moving , not develop anything new and interesting things in your life happens. But I'm 100% sure that each person experiences such periods in life. It is absolutely normal. In the near future, you enter into a new period and your life will change, you begin to move in a new direction! All will be well! Believe in yourself!

AV

It's been like this all my life so.... No hope really.

What are you doing to change things/try to change things in your life? Or do you not feel ready to make changes?

Hi, just wanted to say I've read your post - and I've also been stuck feeling about no difference, and stuck on the same things for just over a year now. I bet that everyone moves at their own pace.

good idea, this one, and possible to achieve. I know personally that if you don't change anything, usually you cannot achieve any desired change, except what happens by chance, which often isn't too good, if one is not facing issues. The best!

I know they do. People shouldn't judge, and one must figure out for oneself just how to proceed. But I do know that once moving forward, it often does feel much better! Good luck!

Winter4me

I don't know where to start to make changes, to make a future for myself; career wise. where?? I really wanna be able to start feeling but I'm not sure I'm ready for that. Which is what brings it full circle. So since I'm contradicting myself.....

I looked at your bio, and I've noticed that your primary concern is depression. Depression can often make it hard for us to move forward. There's a book called "Get It Done When You're Depressed." Some libraries carry it. If there's anyway you can get your hands on it, I would suggest reading it. It's an easy read, gives simple excercise, and one of the authors actually has depression so she knows what it's like.

I feel pretty similar to that, and it seems its kind of been that way for a very long time. I know it really sucks and some people really don't understand how it is to be unable to do things because of psychological issues. I wish I had some helpful advice or could honestly say it will get better...but I don't really know.

I know everyone struggles in life but I don't think everyone has a debilitating mental illness that interferes with their day to day life over long periods of time.

i feel the same way too - i've been stuck at the same spot, not moving anywhere in life for the past year. looking at my peers and how they're excelling in life be it academics or emotionally just brings me down. but i would like to believe that i'm moving a little bit a day, be it 0.1mm it's still something... and that someday i'll be somewhere i want to be at.

Thanks all for your responses.

Shortandcute thanks for that book suggestion. Now i need to get myself to read such a type of thing!

Baby steps.

Are you actively abusing substances at this time? If yes, it could be a place to start to start...

My last round of therapy, my therapist mentioned Erickson's Stages as a place to measure where I stand in life.

Here's the link to an article on the stages...

Erikson's Psychosocial Stages Summary Chart

This was mentioned in regards, that missing any particular stage can stunt your emotional growth. And, in a way, it was a measuring tool, of seeing where I am at.

Winter4me

I don't think that's s good place to start, if i don't have it how will i cope with life at all. It's the way I'm surviving.
See this is my point, your giving good sound advice yet I'm not ready to take it. I'm not moving beyond it. That's why everyone who did try to help me gave up. But i really do wanna feel so again...

What you using? And I know it's not popular opinion, but if you're not ready, then do you. I would suggest you keep an open mind to the possibility of therapy or help when you are ready.

And you said you have no one to tell your struggles or frustrations with, you can PM if you'd like.

You might want to just check out Prochaska's model of change. It would put you in the "pre-contemplative" stage; in other words, not ready to make a change. This is okay, it is where you are at. One thing you can do, that actually can lead to moving into another stage (and it isn't a one way street, or about success or failure, just about change or not changing) is to begin to educate yourself about what you are doing. Read about substance abuse, just informational stuff from good resources, or about something else that is causing you problems in life; crack the door to thinking about it without any commitment to do anything.
One big issue with substance abuse is that it really does get in the way of making any other changes you might want to consider, though there is nothing wrong with say, reading about careers you might be interested in, we all have our own path. You will know when you are ready---the pop book is called "Changing For Good"---but you could just read it and blow it off, throw it in a corner and look another day. What he did was he looked at all the research done on and all the theories about how people change and all the therapies used to promote change, took what was the same in all and distilled the information.
Keep talking to us. Good advise is not always helpful. We are still here for you.

I can relate to this. The people that I know graduated college, have amazing friends, are in relationships. Some already have children and some are engaged. I dropped out of college and not sure what I want.

I "try" not worry or be concern what others are doing. The more I'm concern what others are doing makes feel sad. So instead I "try" to focus on myself. I hope you feel better