[will19]

Felt terribly depressed today, especially at the last half of the day. I started to feel really bad around 11 AM today. Just got a little bit of a relief when at work they served a turkey lunch. It was very good. After that I felt really bad. That was because I had an MRI scheduled at 5 PM.

I went to the MRI and chickened out. It was because I would have been in a tube that was very narrow. I am claustrophobic. I asked someone about the procedure ahead of time and I was told that it would be alright because it would only be my lower body that would be examined. When I got there I was told that my whole body would be in the tube. The "ceiling" part of it would be less an a quarter inch from my nose. I went through a procedure like that before and thought that I was going to die of a heart attack because I was claustrophobic, and was not told about that ahead of time. I didn't want to go through something like that again. I just felt terrible after that.

I got an email from a distant friend. It didn't seem very favorable to me for many reasons. So that's another disappointment.

Upness.
Cause I ain't Mumford, I ain't tryin to have sons.

meh...ok the popup tells me my message is too short so... meh, I repeat meh

[herethennow]

Been busy these days. Was physically ill and so was resting while in the midst of classes and catching up on schoolwork. Am doing a little bit fine.. Which is a relief since mid terms are next week. Just need to be stable for it.

On another note, T thinks im ready to fly on my own so T is spacing out my appts to once a month. I have mixed feelings about this.. For one, i am happy that shes trusting me. But the appts have been my time to know that its okay to feel vulnerable at that time. Im not sure so

Ups: job prospects still looking good, relationship with husband is improving, going out to dinner tonight
Downs: not even going there. Trying to focus on positives!

[Blue_Bird]

Ups: I didn't SI last night, came very close but made it through

Downs: Started hallucinating again today, haven't in over 4 months

[shortandcute]

I am having a real hard time right now. I am in debt way over my head, I can't get disability, but I can't work either; my plumbing is backed up and I don't have the money to get it fixed. my son has a mental illness but refuses to get help; i've tried to get get help out here but, even tho i qualify, i'm at the bottom of the priority lists because im not a senior citizen yet. I can't take this anymore.

[Bark]

That week of being awake is long gone. Been tired all day. Must read... must write.... Too much work. So many things I want or need to do... but meh. Too much effort. I'd like a nice helping of energy, please. I feel like I've gone from mixed (which was mostly horrible) to some semblance of normal and now towards depression. Boo.

[Martek]

Teetering over the edge of the abyss.

[Rose76]

I got down yesterday, but I didn't stay down. So I'm still doing quite well. This is a record run for me . . . at least it is for the past couple years.

[Blue_Bird]

Ups: I cleaned my room

Downs: it's still not Tuesday yet which is when my appointment is, so I can get my meds adjusted to help everything that's been going on. Hopefully it will get here soon

[Charl S]

On the upside: it's weekend and I don't have to work, on the downside: I've been feeling so anxious I can scream!! I can't sit still yet I don't have energy to do anything. I just want this feeling to go away. I just want to be better.

[FooZe]

This thread continues here: http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...ml#post3415334