[downgrey]

Hi there,
I have been struggling with depression for probably my entire life. (Though it was never diagnosed or admitted, I think my mother does too). The past year or 2 have been progressively worse though... And after much personnel struggling, I'm finally looking for help. I honestly feel like it really is a "chemical" thing... I don't want to be like this, but even when I truly, deeply want to be happy, and SHOULD be happy...I just don't feel happiness anymore.

BUT...I am absolutely terrified to take that first step in finding a doctor. I don't know anyone in the area where I live who could recommend one, and of course the insurance company just gives you a list of names of "preferred providers.".

I'm so confused as to where to start.... Do I just pick a name out of the list? That seems...scary. If I make an appointment but don't like the doctor, do I have to pay? (as in, do you have to pay for an initial "meeting/consultation") What's the protocol for finding a good doctor that I'm comfortable with???

[dexter]

I took my names from the insurance company list and i had good luck with it. i do think you have to pay for the first visit. and sometimes you may like a doc initially but then after a few visits don't feel likeyour getting anywhere and want to change.

it can be tough especially because part of the process is building trust with your doc. that is true with a "regular" doc too but much moreso with a therapist.

I might recommend you talk to your primary care doctor, tell him what's going on, and see if he has a recommendation. since he knows you he may have someone in mind who may be right for you. not all doctors seem open to mental health care though so if your reg doctor brushes you off don't be discouraged.

You can also look up the local mental health care facility in your area and see if they can get you started.

You will find that there are a LOT of options available and there are LOTS of people who share your symptoms, so don't be afraid to get started.

good luck, as i'm sure others will say, the first step is the hardest, and that is recognizing that there is a problem and seeking treatment. so you are already on the road to a solution.

my depression progressed in the same way, i specifically described it as knowing that in addition to the recent stressors in my life, I felt that there was an underlying chemical thing going on. mine also grew over a period of two years. i think i waited too long to seek real treatment... i had gotten an antidepressant from my regular doc but never followed through with a therapist, by that time i already felt quite hopeless and discouraged.

the website http://psychcentral.com/, or hit "home" at the top left of the page.)

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[downgrey]

Thanks, Dave. I really appreciate your reply. And you are most definitely right about the "building trust" issue, which is certainly my biggest concern-finding someone I can talk to and who will work well with my personality.

I have a great boyfriend, but as far as this goes, he just doesn't quite "get it"... He's trying to be supportive & help me out...but I don't think he quite sees the seriousness of me needing to actually see a doctor. And when I did bring that up, I think that he's thinking "just do it!" (tho he may not say that! ;-) ) But, as I told him, it's not like I'm looking for a dentist...this is a little more personnel than that!!

Unfortunately I don't have a primary care doctor, so I don't have anyone to ask as far as that goes. I've only lived where I am for about 3 years, and am typically very "healthy" & haven't been to any kind of doctor in AGES. I've even put off finding a primary care doctor because I'm hesitant about finding someone I'm comfortable with. And this is an even MORE intimate issue I'm seeking health with now!! For me, anyway. I'm definitely NOT one to air my problems, generally speaking. Getting help is VERY difficult for me, I'm very worried about finding someone I can actually talk comfortably with! (I have definitely waited for way too long to seek help as well!! :-( )

Anyway, thanks again for the thoughts & advice.
Best wishes & good thoughts to you!! :-)
-downgrey-

[(JD)]

I agree with Dexter... there are good questions to ask a new doctor.. either on the phone, or ask for a free consultation to review him/her... and if you feel comfortable, give it a try! Having someone who understands is worth it.

<font color=green>...I can misspeak like the best of us</font color=green>