[journeybe]

My Mother has been depressed since 2009; about the timeframe when she lost her last job as an executive legal secretary at a law firm. They laid her off because they needed to cut back because of the housing bubble. She wound up working for a catholic non profit outfit. They were abusive to her as has been the case with many people throughout her life. She is pretty religious, respectful of the human spirit, does not really allow herself (adequately) to defend herself or to fight people back. She absorbs abuse and now she is paying a massive price. The catholic outfit job was a very bad idea; she took a ridiculous pay cut. At that time she was a single home owner and brand new car owner as well living in Montgomery County MD... a place where it is not truly wise to be single and a home owner. She really started breaking down very hardcore during and after the catholic outfit gig. My Mother stated that she would come home and lay in bed with all work clothes on dreading the place, dreading having to go back. She related that most of this fear stemmed from what was perceived by her as a constant threat of her job being eliminated by a poor manager who had no clue of discretionary management practice..."our decisions need be our business and the person's business; not everyone's common knowledge." She stopped going to work regularly, stopped going to work period. Started out with benefits that the catholic outfit granted on good faith and promise of a job with them still when she was ready. They cut the benefits for a depressed person and an unemployed person who could not get out of bed for anything. Since, she has been on some other program for money but, uninsured. She is stating that no one takes unemployed people like her with pre-existing conditions like depression. She is claiming that there are no decent alternatives. The county apparently takes on the unemployed for med insurance but, she has financial benefits of some type coming in which are too high, so she cannot turn to the county according to her. In my opinion, she needs treatment which is far more than what myself or her family can offer... emotional support. Descriptions of her behavior - Absolute inability to make decisions: cannot make herself go to the grocery store, could not decide one day of whether to call for her car to be towed to be repaired (she thought it had a transmission problem) I noted no evidence of this what so ever. That same day, she was supposed to be going into the grocery store in which parking lot, she had been sitting there for hours trying to make a decision to have car repaired or get food. I spent hours there with her trying to get her to decide with no good result. She stopped feeding the birds in the back yard, this was previously a major hobby for her. Stopped talking to family, friends, going out and doing things, eating regularly, bathing, watching tv, taking care of her home (maintenance), yard, mail (big piles of letter mail and catalogs, cleaning of house. All of this is out of character for her. Now she has developed rashes about her left arm and torso. She cannot even decide on what to do. See a doctor? No. Too expensive. What about your boyfriend's doctor... he's uninsured. I don't know. This is another thing: her language for years has been degenerating into - I can't. I don't know. I'm not sure. I don't know why. I don't think this will work or that will work. I gave her a list of people I thought could help; life coaches who specialize in depression. Did you look at the list and try calling any of them? No. I'm sorry. Stays in bed everyday except when her boyfriend wants her to go out... Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday. At all other times she is occupying bed street. She claims that her boyfriend has to peel her out of bed and it's becoming more of a challenge for him. Some of my relatives and myself are suspicious that her real deal is that she no longer wants to work and wants our family to start supporting her. She is 59 years old and has 11 years of work to go before retirement. She has racked up pretty good chunks of debt, has been out of work for over a year, house is falling apart and is not favorably sellable as she would be more upside down in equity than in a positive place. She wants to keep the house and to live there for the rest of her life but, is "I can't ing herself" whole heartedly into bed day and night. My questions are: 1) What do you think she is suffering from? Clinical Depression? 2) Is she just tired of working and too afraid to just tell her family the truth? 3) Why can she get up and almost be alive for her man but, not even really attempt to get out of bed for anything else (even daily showers?) (going to the hospital and having her irritating rashes healed?) 4) How can she get coverage? 5) Is it possible to get her back into the workforce at the level of function that she performed at before? I told her years ago when I first started to notice her dropping clues that she was willing to take big pay cuts or just to stop working that people who make these decisions have to deal with the consequences, less pay = less lifestyle and material possessions, no work = a whole lot less. Me and my family members are not receiving this well.

[shortandcute]

I know that's gotta be hard to see your mother go through all that. Lots of hugs to you.

[too SHy]

My Mother was very ill throughout my life. She never got the help she needed and the meds available then were terrible. It took 10 years after her death for me to start healing. My life was ruined.
Please try to get your mom the help she needs, she must be very sick.
I am in terrible pain from maj. depression, and PTSD. But I really believe my mother suffered even more. Peace