[Delljoy]

I'm really starting to worry big time now, and wondering what step to take next.
I sent my depressed partner, who has been in a major depression since we have been back from an extended holiday in America, and who I haven't heard anything from for a week, an email last night again stressing my concern, and told him some things I was going to do if I hadn't heard from him today. He hates any fuss, and is a very unassuming and private man. He is not that close to his 2 younger sisters, but I sensed he used to be in the past. His father died very early and he brought them up, but as is usual in families they have drifted apart over the years. I sense that these 2 women have always looked up to him and almost hero worshipped him, his closeness to his sisters was one of the main reasons his marriage split up. I don't know why he and his sisters are now only sporadically in contact and why 2 years ago he moved interstate away from them and has no desire to go back and visit them. Maybe his depression is something to do with it, maybe he is embarrassed for his sisters to see him like this.
I've never met his sisters but they know about me, and prior to us going to America this year he gave me one of his sisters contact details for just in case something happened to him.
Anyway in my email to him last night, I said that if I didn't hear from him by today I would contact his sister, and involve her in the situation. The one daughter that he is in contact with and lives in the uk at the moment, whom I also haven't met, but who also knows me as her dads partner and whom I've said hello to on the phone etc, I have found on Facebook. I informed him of this also, and that I was thinking of contacting her as I'm sure he has closed off from her as well, so she must be worried out her brain also. If he were aware that I was putting these plans into place he would contact me immediately to stop me doing this.....he couldn't bear to loose face in front of his family as well as me.
I think they have the right to know, certainly his daughter, and I maybe able to gain some insight into his condition from her as well......maybe this is a pattern that he goes through every year?
The fact that he has not responded to this email really concerns me. My gut still tells me that he is not the type of man to do something stupid, but who knows, and his depression, agitation and circumstances in life are so dire, or they are according to him. So if my gut is right and he hasn't done anything stupid.....and I'm praying and crossing fingers and toes hoping my gut is right, the only other option is that he has closed himself off from email as well as cell phone, and this must mean his condition has deteriorated. He is a modern day man, and uses Internet on a daily basis. He even took his laptop to America on our motorbike holiday and it took up precious room in our pannier bags.
Now that I've told him I was going to involve his family, I'm left with a bit of a dilemma. Should I follow through with it or not? I honestly expected him to contact me, so I felt there was not going to be any necessity for it.

[optimize990h]

I recall some of your posts. From what you have written, I am not able give much feedback.

You have done a lot of legwork and thinking for your partner. I am sorry his response has been what you have discussed. You know him and his support network better than I do.

You are a bit of an authority figure to me despite the virtual world, so it is difficult to readily give you feedback. What I do support is that if your gut feeling is to involve family, then go ahead with it.

Take what you like, leave the rest behind. Take care.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Delljoy

I sent my depressed partner...an email last night again stressing my concern, and told him some things I was going to do if I hadn't heard from him today.

In his depressed state, it may take him significantly longer than usual to respond to requests, even if the desire to respond is present.

There are times when I'm uncommunicative, when the disinclination to communicate is so great I cannot help but wait it out.

[gayleggg]

At this point, what could his family do? Do they know where he is staying? Are they close enough to him that they could go find him? I would only contact his family if there is something that they can do to help. If they haven't had any contact with him recently chances are he will ignore them as well. Unless you know where to find him and make sure he is safe you are rather stuck worrying. Take what you like and leave the rest. It is only my personal opinion. Good luck to you whatever you chose to do.

[Wren_]

hi, i replied on your other thread about this ... wondering if you've heard more from him since you last wrote?