why people keep doing this to me

i'm in the middle of problem with a stranger online. i wont tell what my problem is, sorry.

i dont know him, he dont know me. a few weeks ago he sent me a message, which i can say is not appropriate for anybody to say to a stranger. My reaction is of course i'm very angry at him, basically i told him to mind his own business cause we dont know each other.

we ended up kept cussing at each other, he just cant keep his mouth shut eventho he's the one who's making a mistake, he wont admit it, and keep pushing me, making fun at me. I mean come on, he did a mistake to me, just because i told him to shut up & mind his own business, he's not man enough to accept what i told him to do, he keep replying to my messages. Me personally, honestly, when i did a mistake, no matter how small/big the problem is, in the end i will shut up cause i know i was wrong, or say sorry. But this person just keep making fun at me. I just cant take it anymore, i really just want to kill him, please, he just wont shut up, he did a mistake to me for God sake, why!! why everydbody keep doing this to me!!!!!!! since i'm in high school!! always coming back again!!! what did i do to him??? NOTHING!!! i dont even know him, why he must sent me a message in the first place, and he dont want to admit that what he did is wrong!

I did a small research online, and i found out that he's having a similar problem with other person online, maybe that is his hobby, making fun at other person on this cyber space.

maybe i can ignore him, but its not fair, he's the one who should give up, i wont give up, but with my depression this problem makes me really sick, literally, triggered my depression, with all other problems in my life, and then this, he such a jerk who likes to bully other person, i hope he die soon, maybe having an accident and die unhappy. People like him deserve to die, or maybe someone will eventually kill a jerk like him.

I dont know if anybody can feel what i feel right now. This is unfair, i always treated unfair in my life. Just a quick other story, i was treated unfair at my workplace a few weeks ago, i was having a lunch in a round table of four, four people sit there including me, i was sitting next to a girl, and then this guy, he's the kind of macho guy with tattoos, he suddenly put his plate in the middle of me and that girl eventho there is no more room and chair for him, i was pushed aside and had to give him the room he asked for without saying any words to me, i;m the one who pulled a chair for him from table behind me, what a jerk, he actually did that just to sit next to a beautiful girl, cant he see there is no more chair for him??? why he cant just sit at the table behind me??? one space available back there. WHY?? YEAH BECAUSE PEOPLE ALWAYS TREATED ME UNFAIR!!!! THIS IS WHY I HATE THE WORLD AND SICK OF EVERYTHING AROUND ME!! AND AT MOST OF THE TIME, I JUST WANT TO KILL EVERYBODY AND THEN KILL MY SELF!!!!!

I believe you are correct. Some people psychologically feed off other people's misery. Show them that they have succeeded in making you miserable, and they will keep coming back for more. The usual advice for this kind of situation: "Stop feeding the troll."
You have frequently been the target of bullies, and this is another instance.
Everyday Health: How to Deal With Adult Bullies - Many other sites and suggestions exist. The important thing is not to ignore it.

Like Rohag said, it sounds like he is feeding off of the reaction and that is part of cyber bullying or trolling depending on the situation.

Is this happening on a forum? If so, contact the administrators (sometimes there is a report function) to make them aware. If it's facebook or another social network then use the report function that they provide.

Once you realize that it is the reaction they seek then it should become easier to adjust your feelings towards it.

As for the guy who pushed you aside... sadly there are always going to be jerks that we have to face in life but by the same token they are counter balanced by people who care and use etiquette. I know it can boil the blood at times but to who does that inner rage hurt? You or him?

You cannot make another person behave, think, or say anything in particular. When someone addresses you and you don't like it, you say you don't like it and then leave it alone; there is no right or wrong, fair or unfair about it when there is no arbitrator or way to enforce it. It is like if you go to a restaurant and the staff are rude and the food is bad; will you go again? No, you just don't go rather than start a vendetta against the restaurant, unless you have nothing better to do?

Sounds like the first guy enjoys engaging people negatively; you do not have to enjoy being so engaged; just don't be there for him to engage and he can't engage you; if you had ignored the original message, he could not have had any "fun".

With the second guy at the table, I do not understand why you found him a chair? If you don't want him there, you don't find him a chair!

Hi,
I am so sorry you are going through this. Being bullied is horrible. I remember when I was at school and these guys used to make fun of me: I had these fantasies of killing them by karate moves. About the tattooed guy, I cannot say anything. As it happened in the work environment, I guess what you did was the only thing you could do. You may need to be polite to everyone in your job. You would not risk your job position by starting a fight either, although, of course, I wish life were like these movies where underdogs can revenge divinely. I wish you could do it and invite me to the party, but, I guess, it is not possible. Or maybe you could have reacted differently, I do not know. In any case, the only way we empower ourselves is when we ask ourselves what we can do differently next time, think about it.
Bad news: unfortunately, this kind of things does not happen to you exclusively. There are many bullies in your country, and in my country, too. I live with one, and it is hell, I know. I just want your pain to go away. I do not believe that you are doing something wrong to attract this kind of guys. They are just like that and our society produces more and more bullies every year. Perhaps, we could do something to change things long term. I believe a cultural change is urgently needed everywhere. Because the bullies are taking over, IMO. But, again, just in case, you can think how you can improve your reactions next time this happens.
About the guy online, well, think this: do you know how old is this guy online? Could it be that he is a teenager, somebody that is just mocking (with a horrible test for jokes and cruelty?). Maybe he is not even an adult. I do not want to justify him, but try not to take it too seriously. I do not know, maybe this is evasion, but try to think he does not exist in reality and just avoid replaying him. just erase him from you life, think he is just words on a screen. Think as if he were a virus in your computer. You really empower yourself by not replaying him, otherwise he is having you where he wants you to be: answering to his stupidities and feeling badly. Your responses trigger his responses, so, do not gratify him, he is having pleasure each time you replay, I think.
OK, last thing: I do not know if you know, I am a disabled woman since my adolescence. Once, i was terrible harassed at work. That produced a lot of scares and suffering. Later, I kept talking about the issue and recreating my pain. Then, a friend of mine (also disabled and with cancer) told me: "stop, stop talking like a victim. I know you have suffered because of other people doing but stop talking like a victim. This puts you on a victim mode and you will not be able to get out of it". He told me: "switch to the survivor mode".
He was right. That advice changed my life.
OK, this is all for now. Thank you for sharing your feelings, I wish you the best

Look at him like you look at the SPAM in your email. You just delete it and forget it!

To everybody, Thank you for replying! I appreciate it a lot. Its just that, i hate being the person who's always being a target. What have i done to them, nothing. Why they do this to me. And honestly, i dont want to give up at them, i want to fight them, but again with this depression everything seems much harder to do.

@Rohag
Thank you for the link, i will have a look. I',m thinking i just want to stop talking to him, but again that is just unfair, i never start a conversation with him, he started it, i told him to mind his own business, but he kept coming back with more "attitude".

@ToeJam
Its a website where every members is a benefit for the website itself, i already report his behaviour, i even report what he did with other member back in 2011, the only advice they can gave me is just disregard his messages. If this happens on a website where i can block him away, i would've done that. This person actually tells me where he lived, called me "names", and told be to go find him and show him how a pussywuss i am. The guy in my workplace, we never spoke to each other, but i always knew that from the way he looked at me, from the way he behave, he's the kind of guy who always wanted to be "the man", you know the macho guy with tattoos, and if he wants to sit next to that girl, he would done everything to get that, even if he must pushed me aside. Me personally, i dont want any trouble in my workplace, if i told him to go find an empty table, i know what kind of things that will possibly happens next, and i'm the kind of person who dont want anything like that happened to me in my workplace. I',m doing the right thing like i always did, but why people always doing the wrong thing to me.

@Perna
I understand what you mean. But again, its been years and years i'm being treated unfair, at first yeah i leave it alone, but as i grow older, i'm thinking i'm a grown-up man now, people cant do that to me anymore, they should learn to respect other people like i did. I actually told the first guy about respect, do you know what he said? "I will never respect the pathetic ******** people like you".
He's the one who's sending me a ******** in the first place, and he called a pathetic ********? In this case, that is an ultimate insult to innocent person like me, how am i supposed to leave it alone.
The second guy, i dont know Perna, maybe i'm being too nice to people, like always. I dont mind if he ask me nicely "hey may i sit here?", but he dont say anything to me, and the chair is right behind me, i'm instantly responded moving my chair to give him room and pulled the chair behind me, i know its a stupid thing to do, but i wouldn't be that stupid if he can respect me in the first place by asking nicely to me. He such a jerk, really, if you meet him, you would know just by a quick look at him. All man have rights to be a macho guy and tattoos, but that doesn't mean he can do everything he wants.

@Clara22
Thank you for sharing, i'm sorry to hear it happened to you too.
You are very correct, i always try to be polite to everybody in my workplace, because i work there, yes i wouldn't risk my job by starting a fight, sometimes people around me dont have the same attitude like me.
Bullies, yeah, in highschool, i'm always a target, they laugh at me, makes fun at me, while i never done anything to them.
The guy online, i dont know anything about him, but he kept calling me a "little guy, little punk *** tough guy, little ***** wussy, etc", i'm guessing he's a big guy, he told me to go find him, told me where he lived, i dont know. Maybe thats what jerk always do.
I'm very sorry to hear you're disabled, it must be hard for you. Yes you're right, i'm always in a victim-mode, i dont know why, but i think you understand why cause you've been there. I've tried so many times to place myself in a survivor-mode, but its still not working, i still had a big anger inside me, grudge inside me, i will never have my peace.

@hannabee
Maybe yeah he is a SPAM. i will try to ignore him. Thank you

You shouldn't take it personal. This guy doesn't even know you, so how is there any proof behind his works? He's just being a butthole.. That's what these guys do.. Act tough behind a computer screen. Just try not to take it personal.

Hi Unfearless,
Yes, I understand how you feel and also, I understand that it takes time to switch to survivor mode, but, be sure the time will come. The only thing I ask you please do not replay his emails. You are right it seems unfair to let him have the last say, but, guess what? Not replaying to him is the worst thing you can do to him. This is because his biggest pleasure is when you replay to him, as you give him the opportunity to answer back to you. Remember this, he does not work like you, I mean, his mind does not work like yours. He is not about reciprocity at all. The worst thing for him is ignoring him. Beyond people like him there is a lot of need for attention, do not give your attention to him, he does not deserve your time.
A hug

I think you have encountered one of the bazillion haters / trolls of the web. It is one of the suckier aspects of the web.

I agree with the other posters - BLOCK him if you can. Or at a minimum ignore him. And if you can do neither - then try to find out his real name & location and then file a harassment charge with the police.

Nobody should have to be subject to that level of poo

I'm going to preface my response with a warning. You won't like it.

Hi george, i understand what you mean, i appreciate it. But yes i'm sorry i dont like your response.

This is as much your fault as his at this point.
What i had in mind, i never done anything to them, literally. So what is my fault? Are you saying that my fault is because i let them do that to me? I think its their fault in the first place because they do that to me, they did the wrong thing. None of this will happen if they dont bug me. And this post will never exist.

You can perpetuate it and feel sorry for yourself or you can ignore it and be done with it
I will never feel sorry at myself if they never bug me in the first place. Everything is okay before they start to bug me. There is nothing should be consider "DONE" if they never start it in the first place.

Everybody? This doesn't mean you kill the bully
I should've write "everybody", my mistake. I think people who read this understand what i mean with everybody, it means everybody that i hate, not every person around me.

Bullies bully because they can. Because there are people who will allow it. You don't have to allow it.
I never allow myself to bully people, i cant bully people. Why would they? the answer is because they are assholes. Bullies bully because they are assholes PERIOD

He is a troll and he is feeding off your outrage / offensive.

Ignore or block him and do not read what he sends/ respond to it.

There are always idiots online and in real life. I have been treated very bad by many people, I keep away from those sorts of people, and just involve myself with nice people.

If you keep reading his messages/ responding to him, you are feeding your own upset!

Hi,
I do not think that who receives aggression can be blamed for it. In the case of online bullying, sometimes you can stop it by not paying attention to the bully, but sometimes it does not work that way and you have to fill a complaint. Of course, one can set some goals for oneself for the future, try to analyze one's reactions, so we can get a better outcome next time (if this is possible). But, there is not justification for a bully. And, sometimes we cannot control things, even with 100 per cent effort. You can do your best, be prepared, improve, but, there are a bunch of guys out of there that want to bother people.

You don't want to be bullied of course, who does. But... You must see the problem there?
And yes, usually the best reaction to a bully is to refuse to be bullied but you are perpetuating this and you aren't accomplishing anything. Person IRL bullying you? Put a stop to it by making it more difficult then the bully can handle.... that may cause some temporary hardship on you but it won't be long before he/she will move on to an easier target.
Stranger online being an ***? Easy solution. Ignore it.