The bottom has dropped out

and the wheels are about to fall off. I'm thinking of all those nice unprotected bridges I crossed in Louisiana. Sorry for not answering PM's and skype lately.

I feel the same. I hope we both stay safe

That's quite the image.

Please, continue if you feel up to it.

I wish I could help, or that anyone or anything can help you feel better and keep you safe.

George, you're a nice guy. What's getting to you? Seems a few things have bugged you over the last couple months, but you don't spill your guts on them.

The problem with jumping off a bridge, even one as tall as the Sunshine Skyway bridge in Florida, is that there's no guarantee that you'll die instantly. You may even survive if only for a few minutes or an hour. I found an interview of a man who jumped off the Skyway and lived long enough to tell about it. He said he instantly regretted jumping and that he experienced exponentially excruciating pain from broken bones and hemorrhaging. Fishermen happened to be nearby and pulled the man out of the water. That's why they were able to get the man's story. That quashed all my fantasies of jumping off a bridge to end it all.

I apologize for that post. It was thoughtless and inconsiderate to cause unnecessary worry to people who care and aren't in a position to do anything. Thank you all for the hugs and support.
Poppy Princess I hope you feel better soon
H3rmit... that's just the way I am /shrugs. If I had been thinking clearer afterwards I would have come back and deleted the post.
Vossie42... it sounds like you've researched this as I have. If so then you know there are workarounds. But we don't need to get into the technical aspects of how to end your life effectively and painlessly.
I'll pick myself up and dust myself off and tighten the wheels as I've done before

Happy to hear that you will get through it, George. Sometimes we just need a little help from our friends.

Friends are good but the inability to give up may be even more helpful. I can't seem to accept defeat more than a day or two whether I want to or not. And to be honest sometimes I want to.

I agree with you George the inability to give up is what esentially keeps us going. That the thought of a better day is just around the corner, but we cant see around the corner can we. I think maybe that's a good thing. Best Wishes to you George. There's always a glimmer of hope? Maybe some days.

No need to apologize - you were just expressing your feelings. Because I don't really know you, I was only a tiny bit worried you meant it literally, but overall it didn't fit my impression of you.

As someone said, jumping is not reliable. I've looked into it, and pretty much nothing is reliable. A failed suicide attempt is worse than putting up with the continuing crap, in my view. Would make the crap worse, in fact.

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better!

Thanks for this, I do believe in stubbornness!! I know it has gotten me through some really tough experiences. even if that's all we've got sometimes it is a really good thing!!

George, I was wondering how you were doing and stumbled across this thread. I'm sorry you are having a rough go. You're comment about bridges reminded me of the trees on my commute home I considered "my" trees.

I also like your analogy of tightening the wheels. That sounds like a positive.

I'm thinking of you.

Not to be contrary but I don't remember saying I'm feeling better... just trying harder
And any means is reliable if you are serious and determined. I would never do anything any other way.
Thanks tho and thanks to all

Are you getting enough sleep? You have to get enough sleep during this season change / time change. I've been like a zombie for weeks. I think there's an historical reason for Halloween related to this. I'm just starting to get some pep back.

I haven't really been able to establish a normal sleep pattern since my days as a musician. Even when I stopped playing and worked a regular 9-5 I had problems forcing myself to go to bed at a decent hour. And when I was my mother's caretaker I developed a knack for sleeping with one eye open
Back in the days when anxiety and agitated depression were intense I could go days without sleeping. I think my record was 10 days. Seriously.
Really it's been a long time since I had a normal sleep pattern. I'm not sure that I ever will. I do understand the importance and though I take that into consideration I don't seem to have the ability and maybe not the desire to change. Sleeping too much is more of a problem now. If I'm very depressed/discouraged I can sleep for a long time.
I think maybe the reason I don't talk about my problems much may be due to the fact that I don't want to do some of the things that most people would consider necessary. Like... go to bed at 11 and wake up at 7... unless it's absolutely critical. And honestly I'm not sure I do then. I may get up at 6 or 7 when it's necessary but it isn't likely I will be in bed by 11 the night before.
I'm a terrible patient

George, if you don't have to get up at a certain time why do you need a regular sleep/wake time? If you prefer staying up late and sleeping during the day, what's "wrong" with that?

I really do need a more normal schedule. I've kind of created my own jobs and most of the things I do are best done in the day light hours.
I'm trying to create one that fits my schedule though

I'm sending you cyber hugs and hoping this storm dissipates soon ((((((((George))))))))
The sun started shining on me only 3 days ago after a month of (?) gosh, idk what that even was, except it was crazy making...

I hope the sun shines on you soon George