[ToeJam]

Well, under the advice of my Dr I postponed study at college. I work full time, married and have been going to night school for the last 3 years training to be an accountant... but with the plunge into depression I was finding it very hard to learn and concentrate and was falling behind on my studies.

Spoke to my lecturer tonight who advised that it wasn't a problem but I got the impression he wasn't expecting me to come back.

I don't want to quit but I at the same time there is no way in hell I can study for or pass exams at this time.

Feeling a bit gutted that I've had to take a step away and I'm hoping it's not a mistake

On the plus side it is going to free up some of my time for creative writing but that is more a personal enjoyment thing rather than something practical.

[gayleggg]

Sound like to me your Dr. gave you good advice. From what you have said about how you are feeling you are trying to do more than your brain can handle at this time. I can imagine you are feeling pretty bad about backing off you studies. i know it must be a disappointment to you. However, you can use the time to get stronger and have more energy when you are ready to start again. Take you time to take care of yourself and don't beat yourself up over this. It will all work out for the better in the end. Hope you get to feeling better soon.

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by ToeJam

Feeling a bit gutted that I've had to take a step away and I'm hoping it's not a mistake

I kept pushing myself 'forward' until I ran myself into the ground. I'm still in the ground. I wonder what life would be like had I throttled back and adjusted my course.

ToeJam, I certainly cannot tell whether or not you are making a mistake. I can't tell whether or not I made a mistake; I might have ended up where I'm at anyway.

[ToeJam]

Thank you Gayleggg. My lecturer said a similar thing. He's aware that I have a bachelors degree and that in comparison this course is well within my capabilities... but then went on about how 'you're not a teenager with free time on your hands and no responsibilities, so it's important that you live life rather than run yourself into the ground over something that isn't important if it's keeping you unhappy'.. was quite surprising to have him say that but it was nice that he could at least comprehend that I'm not just slacking.

Originally Posted by Rohag

I kept pushing myself 'forward' until I ran myself into the ground. I'm still in the ground. I wonder what life would be like had I throttled back and adjusted my course.

ToeJam, I certainly cannot tell whether or not you are making a mistake. I can't tell whether or not I made a mistake; I might have ended up where I'm at anyway.

I'm sorry to hear that things turned out that way for you I had that happen about 8 years ago when I was completing my teacher training... right near the end I crashed and burned and it tore me up really bad for not completing the training.

It's frustrating as hell to know you have the ability... but I guess not the stamina. That might not be the right word, but depression puts us into frequent/infrequent dips that can disrupt our capabilities to learn and motivate which I find is then a mass struggle on catching up when I'm feeling better.... which in turn can dip me once more because I get exhausted.... bloody viscous circle

I'm half way through my final year and essentially have 2 exams and a project to do to become a partly trained accountant and have AAT accreditation so for me I'm definitely not quitting completly, but I've forced myself into at least a year out as per the Drs advice which the wife, family and a couple of close friends thought was smart advice.

I'm just hoping it does reduce the overload and that I can get back on my feet at a later date.

[Pierro]

You have answered your own question TJ, You said there would be no way in hell taking exams and passing so I think you have done the right thing. You have made your decision so take the time out that you need to care for your emotional health as this can take its toll on your physical health. Best wishes.

[Clara22]

and now how do you feel about the decision you made?

[ToeJam]

To be honest Clara, it's still a bit early to tell. I do feel some relief from knowing that the pressure has reduced... but I do worry about long term implications.