[Samanthagreene]

Ever since I got diagnosed, I think my mom's been implying that I'm doing it to myself, or that I should get over it. My family has a history of depression and bipolar, but I'm the only one so far to push for a diagnoses and treatment. She says things like, "Do you want to develop an eating disorder now too?" Or, "I'm not interested in paying for your depression habit, but I guess I have no choice." Whenever I talk about a mental disorder (I'm really interested in psychology) she thinks I'm trying to self-diagnose myself, even when I'm not. She also refuses to admit I might have bipolar, even though my psychiatrist just diagnosed me with a hypomanic episode. She still thinks it's depression. I love her, and she's really a great mom, but I don't know how to deal with this problem. Am I being paranoid? Should I talk to her about it (I think I'm too scared for that)?
Also, she doesn't like that I'm on meds.
Any response would be welcome,
-Sam.

[pegasus]

Hello Sam, it is often the case that family do not understand or do not want to face up to it. Try not to take the comments to heart, it sounds like your Mother is in denial and finding it difficult to accept. Good on you for seeking support for it.

It's sad when our families don't understand and/or support us.

You might try letting her know how it makes you feel when she says dismissive things to you about your illness and how helpful it would be if she could be supportive even if she doesn't understand.

If she still insists on being hurtful to you about it, then you might have to just not discuss it with her at all by politely and firmly stating that you aren't going to engage in this topic of discussion with her until she educates herself on mental health issues and can discuss it in a more informed, respectful and supportive manner.

i gave up ages ago talking about mental illness with my family

they arn't interested, and that's that- i don't care anymore.. their's other support out their- who needs them

[doyoutrustme]

Your mom is being quite invalidating, and that is no good for your condition. I'm sorry she doesn't believe you.

If it helps, I do.

[jesusplay]

Too many people are closed minded and think they know everything of this world.

Ignorance is bliss.

I don't even talk to my mother, I just live with her, doing chores like I'm a freaking child.

[Bugeaud]

I know what you mean. This one time, I was trying to talk to my mom about my feelings. She cut me off halfway through and told me, "You have to man up, or else you'll never get anywhere in life!" And that just hurt me a lot. I love my mom, but really, you shouldn't expect people to understand your mental issues. It's even likely most doctors wouldn't understand. The one person who can understand you, is yourself.

[shortandcute]

I know that's frustrating! On one hand, you'd think that your family and the people who are supposed to know you best, would know something is going on--but they are the last ones to see it.

[wiltedxdaisy]

I can really relate to this... my mother is anti- doctors, hospitals, medication, etc. Growing up and even now I know she suffers from depression and possibly other things. She threatened suicide 3 times that I can remember growing up, and no one ever said/did anything. I always felt it was a taboo subject in our house. If no one cared about her problems, why would they care about mine? I didn't even get help til I was 20, because I was scared. I had moved to another state, but then had to move back home. Now we mostly don't talk about it, but my mom has made comments about how I "just think I need the meds". Whenever she says things like this, I remind her that they are doctor prescribed and so clearly I am not the only one who "thinks" I need these medications. My Dad likes to joke that I am "crazy" and when I started recieving SSDI he actually asked me "How much money to you get for being crazy?" Things like that I just try to ignore. Anyway, I think if you really are bothered by this, then perhaps a talk would help. Do you see a therapist or anyone? Perhaps you could bring your Mom into a session with you and your therapist could help you talk to them? If you could get to go that is... my parents went once when I was in the psych hospital, for a family session. It was pretty awkward, I'm not going to lie, but it felt good that at least they showed up and maybe learned a little. I wish you the best of luck in whatever choice you make... keep standing up for yourself, okay?

Well Im going to go the other way to the rest of the posters, as usual. How old are you? Does your mum perhaps know you best and able to see what is going on for what it really is? Sometimes I think one thing is going on and I talk to my partner who sees it a different way - some of the time he is right! From your posts on here you sound really quite young, and at this age you do have many choices to make which can get overwhelming and cause you to cope in unhealthy ways. Its a great time to learn good healthy coping strategies that can help you for life. Its your choice to choose the healthier options. Perhaps this is what your Mum is getting at.

[too SHy]

Once I was in the hospital very ill, mother came in the room and came at me to slap me, like she always did. A friend had to hold her back. I refused any more visits from her. Mom is dead now, I love her but glad she can't hurt me any more. I hope it gets better for you.

[optimize990h]

I agree it is difficult to find when a person can not depend on them for emotional security and understanding.

I find that what your phrase of "doing it to myself" is a loss of trust from resources that is supposed to be more understanding.

In fact, a doctor at a walk in clinic(where my doctor works from)talked about depression and worse mental health issues as being situational. I held my tongue because I have already trained by my family to accept this attitude.

I am not sure what your social resources are where you live. But I think I need a mental health advocate. However, I have come to realize that rl mental health consumers and PC Forums members collectively act that role for me.

Maybe I have an overactive imagination, but I believe that this occurs especially here at PC Forums.

So I do enourage you Samanthagreene to continue to ask questions and posting responses here at PC Forums.

The feedback that members have given to your original post contains helpful and supportive information.

Keep coming back here.

Originally Posted by Samanthagreene

Ever since I got diagnosed, I think my mom's been implying that I'm doing it to myself, or that I should get over it. My family has a history of depression and bipolar, but I'm the only one so far to push for a diagnoses and treatment. She says things like, "Do you want to develop an eating disorder now too?" Or, "I'm not interested in paying for your depression habit, but I guess I have no choice." Whenever I talk about a mental disorder (I'm really interested in psychology) she thinks I'm trying to self-diagnose myself, even when I'm not. She also refuses to admit I might have bipolar, even though my psychiatrist just diagnosed me with a hypomanic episode. She still thinks it's depression. I love her, and she's really a great mom, but I don't know how to deal with this problem. Am I being paranoid? Should I talk to her about it (I think I'm too scared for that)?
Also, she doesn't like that I'm on meds.
Any response would be welcome,
-Sam.

[pamj533]

i am so sorry that you are having this problem.i deal with the same thing honey.family does not understand that you cant just snap out of it. i myself like psychology.i bet alot of us do.because we understand maybe how to help others.just not ourselves.i can listen if you need me to.sometimes that is what we need.im retired nurse.my sons just moved out.i miss my children being here of course.soooo if you need to talk.i am here. dont give up on your mom.maybe she is afraid?? pam

Originally Posted by Samanthagreene

Ever since I got diagnosed, I think my mom's been implying that I'm doing it to myself, or that I should get over it. My family has a history of depression and bipolar, but I'm the only one so far to push for a diagnoses and treatment. She says things like, "Do you want to develop an eating disorder now too?" Or, "I'm not interested in paying for your depression habit, but I guess I have no choice." Whenever I talk about a mental disorder (I'm really interested in psychology) she thinks I'm trying to self-diagnose myself, even when I'm not. She also refuses to admit I might have bipolar, even though my psychiatrist just diagnosed me with a hypomanic episode. She still thinks it's depression. I love her, and she's really a great mom, but I don't know how to deal with this problem. Am I being paranoid? Should I talk to her about it (I think I'm too scared for that)?
Also, she doesn't like that I'm on meds.
Any response would be welcome,
-Sam.