[Crook32]

I just don't know what to do. I finally finished switching over to Viibryd and I am now crashing again. My T last night didn't want to let me leave, that is how worried I made her. I don't know if I can go through this all again. It has been so many times this year that I have lost count. I see my doc tomorrow but I am not sure what I will tell him because I don't want to end up in the hospital. I can't deal with the aftermath of that. I would rather be dead than hospitalized.

I am at work and I don't know how I am going to make it through the day. Ever since yesterday I have been having bad thoughts. I was up crying last night until the sleeping pills took over. I even tried to make my wife promise she would not put me in the hospital.

[gayleggg]

You will make it through the day because it is where you have some control. No matter what happens I always manage to make it through work. Somtimes I'm not sure how. But I manage.

You do need to see your doctor and be truthful. He can't help you if you aren't.

Have you ever been hopitalized? I've been hospitalized twice and it saved my life. Your life is worth it if it comes down to that. Hope you feel better soon.

[Crook32]

i have done the partial hospitalization thing before and will never do it again. i am thinking about taking the rest of the week off but i hate to use the leave. my family doesn't know about my depression and if i am hospitalized they will find out. i am just so tired and want to sleep. my therapist doesn't think she is helping me and would like to pass me off to someone else. i feel so lost and hopeless right now.

[Crook32]

Left work early and have been in bed ever since. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[ThisWayOut]

what about the php didn't work? can you find a different program? the extra support could be helpful, but only if you find it supportive. I have tried a few different php/iop programs. The first one I went to sucked. Then I found a different program a few years later. It took a while to get comfortable and to get to a beneficial working relationship with the people there, but it ended up being a real life-saver a few times. I know the first time I went to the 2nd program, I ended up having it out with the my case manager. We were butting heads like crazy, but in the end it was all over miss-communication and my inability to know how to ask for help. Once we hashed that out, I was able to benefit from the program. It was also helpful that this program separated out the mood and thought disorders for a few groups a day. I felt like I benefit more from being able to talk about the depression vs how to cope with voices and paranoia...
just some thoughts.

[Crook32]

I hated the therapists and doctors there. And as you said we were all grouped together with different issues and it wasn't helpful. I really like my doctor and therapist and don't want to work with others right now.