I don't want to offend anybody here or anybody's doctor, but I remember a time when you were looked on with genuine compassion. S/he looked into your eyes and listened to what you said. And then worried about you. And you felt taken care of instead of a nuisance.

Perhaps it's just me.....

[sbonnie40]

Doctors had compassion? When? Where? Who? From the age of 8, I had many court-appointed therapists because of my parents wretched divorce. I knew better then, to *really* say what was going on, or what I was upset about-- because THEY DID tell my parents-- and then my parents beat me later for "talking bad about them."

I tried to find therapists/ doctors over the years to help me- (I have very specific requests in mind-- like "teach me to be more assertive") But they would always want to dig at my past-- like some sort of defunct drama mongers-- freud and jung and what-not to find my "root". But even at 31 years old I KNOW BETTER! Sure, therapists will say anything to rouse up some jerry springer nonsense-- you can read it in their body language--- and then they become bored with you because you're not entertaining them-- nevermind they are itching to pop their baker-act cherry.

Because of childhood abuse-- when people begin to berate me or "tell me who I am" or go anywhere down a path similar-- I shut down. I don't cry or become visibly upset (hello survival mechanism) but you would think that DOCTORS of ALL people would recognize that and not continue to demean and diminish ACTUAL health concerns (went to a regular MD once for regular health checkup, and voiced concerns over this weird skin- lymph thing I have going on) and got the "it's all in your head little girl" response and when I tried to explain/ protest with symptoms-- he declared that I was delusional, and my real problem was that I was depressed. I shut down. I remember him standing over me, pointing violently at me and screaming-- "See??!! See!! Just *LOOK* at yourself!! You're an absolute mess! You are completely depressed!

Doctors seriously need to revisit that "first do no harm" business, and second, undergo some communications classes that require intensive studies on active listening.

[poisontongue]

When was that? Maybe I'm too young to remember. My first experience with the system was having meds thrown at me and having incorrect diagnoses thrown willy-nilly.

Professionals can put you in a worse place than when you started, but many don't seem to realize that. Maybe they see just numbers, sales figures. It's different when they're not depending on you for a paycheck. Maybe.

I hear you. Does seeing a doctor worsen things? I tried the therapy route and got the same thing you did. But I already knew that I had no underlying issues.....I could have talked to a brick wall. I know a lot of people here it works for and I envy them, but not me. And I, too, would like to know that I am not just 15 minutes of my physicians time during which I get nodded at while she considers what she should pick up for dinner or buy the shirt that was on sale as Saks.....
I truly think that people with depression NEED to think that somebody out there really really wants us to get better. Even if it is just a cut on your finger.
I actually do remember a caring doctor who made house visits (yes I'm that old) when I was about nine. He sat on the bed next to me, held my hand, smiled at me and told me I would be fine.
I guess that's what I'm looking for.

Originally Posted by poisontongue

When was that? Maybe I'm too young to remember. My first experience with the system was having meds thrown at me and having incorrect diagnoses thrown willy-nilly.

Professionals can put you in a worse place than when you started, but many don't seem to realize that. Maybe they see just numbers, sales figures. It's different when they're not depending on you for a paycheck. Maybe.

We posted at the same time, so forgive me if mine confused you a little.....

[Fuzzybear]

[Clara22]

Hi
I remember when doctors were more compassionate and empathic. And not just doctors, but teachers, as well.
It is difficult to find a good doctor, or one that sees you as a whole, instead of an organ or system.

[Bird Feeder]

I had a very compassionate dr 40 yrs ago when I was sixteen. I even went to live with him and his family after I got out of a yr long psych hospitalization. He literally saved my life. I now think I have finally found another one. He seems genuinely concerned and said we would work as a team. They are out there, just very hard to fine.

Originally Posted by Bird Feeder

I had a very compassionate dr 40 yrs ago when I was sixteen. I even went to live with him and his family after I got out of a yr long psych hospitalization. He literally saved my life. I now think I have finally found another one. He seems genuinely concerned and said we would work as a team. They are out there, just very hard to fine.

You earlier thread was exactly what started me thinking about this....I actually am a little envious of you.

I hope you have much success.

I wonder when doctors learned to put business before compassion?

[Pierro]

My G.P. is brilliant. He has always listened to me with a sympathetic ear and has always done good by me. I realise they are not all good but there are a few gems out there.

[-jimi-]

I had many doctors in my life and most have been creeps. For me there was never a time when they were better. I don't want anyone to worry about me, but at least it would be nice if docs did their jobs. That includes not telling me I make everything up.

Originally Posted by jimi...

I had many doctors in my life and most have been creeps. For me there was never a time when they were better. I don't want anyone to worry about me, but at least it would be nice if docs did their jobs. That includes not telling me I make everything up.

I'm so sorry. Maybe finding the right doctor is like finding love....It's out there somewhere.

Isn't compassion/concern/empathy part of their job?

[-jimi-]

LOL, not around here. Never has been. Being a doctor in my culture (northern Europe) is a very special thing, the doctor is higher on the social ladder than the prime minister, king and queen. In the past, when my parents were young, you had to bow and curtsey to the doc.

It has gotten a little better, but we still don't have the culture where you hire a doc. You get one if you "deserve" one.

Originally Posted by jimi...

LOL, not around here. Never has been. Being a doctor in my culture (northern Europe) is a very special thing, the doctor is higher on the social ladder than the prime minister, king and queen. In the past, when my parents were young, you had to bow and curtsey to the doc.

It has gotten a little better, but we still don't have the culture where you hire a doc. You get one if you "deserve" one.

Wow....If you deserve one? That ramps up the self-esteem........
Truthfully, I was kind of caught up in my complaint.

[-jimi-]

Sorry... I didn't mean to babble all over the place. Just triggery topic for me I guess.

I'll wear oven mits next time this comes over me. I promise. LOL.

Old therapist kept calling me a loner so enough with that..
Current psychiatrist has no compassion for his job what so ever. Even though I'm autistic, he does look at me in the eyes, but with a godless emptiness..

Originally Posted by jimi...

Sorry... I didn't mean to babble all over the place. Just triggery topic for me I guess.

I'll wear oven mits next time this comes over me. I promise. LOL.

No stay and chat...
I was being a little selfish and I forgot that there are places where things are not as easy as they are here. I am interested in what you had to say. I'll go and google it.
But feeling as if you don't deserve to see a doctor is not so good for those of us with mental health problems, is it?

Originally Posted by Alonewithmycat

Old therapist kept calling me a loner so enough with that..
Current psychiatrist has no compassion for his job what so ever. Even though I'm autistic, he does look at me in the eyes, but with a godless emptiness..

I'm so sorry......and yes it feels as if something else is going on with their brains.
Possibly the only compassion found today is in volunteers.

[BeezNflwrs21]

My difficulty is not in FINDING the gem of a doctor, but keeping them once I've got them. It's hard when you finally find one you like and suddenly, they're gone.

[Onward2wards]

Maybe I have been fortunate ... I don't recall any doctor I've ever met to be lacking in compassion. The only problem has been (at times) a misunderstanding of my experiences. That is probably due to my own lack of assertiveness, and the limited time doctors get to spend with their patients.

Hugs to anyone who has had to deal with a genuinely cold MD, pdoc or T!!!! Some of the stories I read on PC are disheartening.

[Wren_]

i've had specialists who gave a sense of that compassion but never really found it in a gp
it would be nice if there was more compassion around

[Wren_]

My difficulty is not in FINDING the gem of a doctor, but keeping them once I've got them. It's hard when you finally find one you like and suddenly, they're gone.

i've found that also; i just found one awhile ago who seemed more help and then she was out on maternity leave the next time i tried to make an appointment

[Bird Feeder]

Originally Posted by sophiesmom

You earlier thread was exactly what started me thinking about this....I actually am a little envious of you.

I hope you have much success.

I wonder when doctors learned to put business before compassion?

It took me quite a few doctors to find ones that truly care. Generally I suffered through until they left and forced me to look for another. It has never been easy and at times downright defeating, but when I would get really bad again and needed the treatment I would push through and accept the first one that came along. Although I have only had a few appointments with this new Dr. I think he is a keeper. He actually did "homework" on my case, and went through my rather substantial file with a fine tooth comb (his words), and I could tell he did. My only fear is that I have put so much hope in HIM that if he were to leave I would be devasted again.

My prayer is that everyone have at least one positive experience with a dr. To let them know they are out there and to keep looking.