[llv88]

I am new here, wanted to get feedback on my situation, I guess.

I have been diagnosed w/ PTSD (complex), major depressive disorder, and recently dysthymia. I have been seeing my T for a few years now. We have been working on mindfulness skills and trying to stay present.

Here's what I'm noticing when I practice mindfulness (that wasn't there before). I feel separate from myself. (I don't think it's in the dissociative way where I'm floating outside my body. It seems like I'm in my body.) I've been able to feel my feet on the ground, hear sounds, feel clothes on my skin, etc... but it is almost like I could SEE that happening. Now, it will start off the same way, I'll see the mindfulness happening, but then something happens where I ACTUALLY feel clothes on my skin or feel my feet touching the floor and I get disgusted and sick to my stomach quickly, not to mention a little freaked out, and stop. I hate myself so much it sickens me to feel what it's like to be in my own body. I have no sense of self worth.

I try to bring this up to my T and he says it's normal to start getting overwhelmed and to keep practicing. But I'm having a hard time because I get so disgusted and cannot stand myself. We are talking years of self hatred ingrained in me. How do I get past this?

[the abyss]

hey, i am sorry you are hurting know that some one cares.
hypnotherapy can help to reprogram the subconscious , and the negative feelings.
maybe try to find the reason why you have so much self hatred , if you do not know already.you are unique and beautiful and capable of beautiful things.
take care