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Martek
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Default Dec 01, 2013 at 03:56 AM
  #61
Still awake at 4am so I know today is going to suck really bad. When I get no sleep it always turns into a crap day, living on my sisters couch it's not like I can just sleep all day.
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Default Dec 01, 2013 at 10:51 AM
  #62
Ups: Just took the dogs for a walk with my husband, and soon we'll be going to a matinee movie.

Downs: this damn, lingering depression and the weight I've gained because of it!
 
 
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Default Dec 01, 2013 at 10:59 AM
  #63
Today is my day off. I've made a Christmas list and started shopping online. Picking up a toy @ Walmart for one of my grandsons.

My father is coming for a visit and we might catch a movie.
Trying to feel good.
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Default Dec 01, 2013 at 11:59 AM
  #64
I thought going to church today might help....but i just drove by couldnt bring myself to go in.... So I'm just sitting in my car crying...

I hate how I feel durng the holiday season!
 
 
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Default Dec 01, 2013 at 03:10 PM
  #65
G-d, that sinking, *blah*, feeling, settling in. heavy in pit of stomach, painted gray. Hard, to articulate, i hate it. Dread? Hmm, which December anniversary, comes first? Goes, straight into January...too many losses, to count on hands...suspect, parents divorce, comes first....

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Default Dec 01, 2013 at 06:30 PM
  #66
So cloud nine is back with no reason that I can see. What the hell is this crap? I really wish that this all could make sense in my head. But then if that happened would I even need it to make sense? I think a visit to the dr is going to be in order in the near future. This is craziness to have to keep dealing with. I feel that tonight is going to be a sleepless night. what exactly is considered self medicating? But eh.... Can't sit still. Don't really want to either.

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Default Dec 02, 2013 at 07:58 AM
  #67
Haven't really been on PC. Was busy.

I had some ups last week. I managed to get time for myself... but I guess I've been going against the current too much that now I'm just plain tired, and on the brink of giving up. My body isn't cooperating with me either; I'm aching top bottom and I just feel like crying. But nope, my meds blunted my ability to cry. Been down more this week...

I have to keep going, lest my assignments... *sigh* the people I face everyday is not helping either. And no, I'm not revealing my condition to them. I don't know how long I can keep this facade on... I'm tired. Hospitalisation sounds like a good idea now. I just want to run away. I just don't want to continue fighting.. for now.

Where's the strength when you need it the most?

But another up: I completed what I need to do.

But I'm tired.

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Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is.
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Default Dec 02, 2013 at 09:10 AM
  #68
Feeling like crap today. Lots of stressors and having a hard time dealing. Just want to run away from it all, but I know I must face it - - day after day.
 
 
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Default Dec 02, 2013 at 09:26 AM
  #69
Blah....feel blah

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Default Dec 02, 2013 at 01:24 PM
  #70
Work is stressful and is giving me a headache. Blah. Hope everyone is good.
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Default Dec 02, 2013 at 02:29 PM
  #71
Crappy day following a crappy last week, looking forward to another crappy week. I told my brother I needed a win in my life, the only problem is I don't have the energy to get myself in a place to get a win. I guess it is just a never ending cycle.
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Default Dec 02, 2013 at 02:50 PM
  #72
I am having a pretty good day so far - - a few good job leads, good session with T, finished my Christmas shopping, walked the dogs. I really needed an "up" day. Today when I woke up, I thought it would be just "another" crappy day. Just goes to show me that my mood can brighten when I least expect it!
 
 
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Default Dec 02, 2013 at 07:43 PM
  #73
Doing good. My allergy to poinsettias is going to make me crazy. My eyes itch like crazy. But my mind is racing. My nurse told me I should see my therapist and have her evaluate me and my mood changes. The good thing was he didn't seem to think it is anything so major but I need to get it checked out. It's going to be hard because I've slacked off going to therapy a but because I've been so up. My nurse also mentioned that I might be being hyper vigilant. I dint know about that. We'll see. I guess I need to move my therapy appt up from the 13th our deal with my moods..... Erg...

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Default Dec 02, 2013 at 10:56 PM
  #74
UPS
My new relationship
DOWNS
My ex
 
 
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Default Dec 03, 2013 at 12:54 AM
  #75
Well. It's been awhile. Wonder how many people here still recognize me...

Anyway, hard to believe it's already December. I've been feeling much better these past few weeks. This is probably the best I've been since April. Not sure how many people remember what I was going through a few months ago with my friend ignoring me. But he never did talk to me, and I'm just now starting to let go. The romantic feelings I once had for him are gone for sure. The friendship isn't quite as easy to let go of, but I'm still not sure if I want to let go of that completely. Regardless, the longer he goes without talking to me the less I think of him as my friend.

I joined an internet dating site a little while back. Met a few people from there, but either didn't feel a connection with the person or met someone who only wanted sex. Finally met the 5th guy from the site, who I went on my 3rd date with last night. It's been going quite well. I think he wants the same kind of thing I do, and I think he's here to stay for awhile

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Default Dec 03, 2013 at 01:36 AM
  #76
up: resolved to talk to counselor tomorrow, so I guess we'll see how that goes. Big day tomorrow.
down: rocky relationship w/ family... :|
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Default Dec 03, 2013 at 09:00 AM
  #77
Another day (second in a row) where I'm not feeling so hopeless and have some motivation! I wonder if this depression could be lifting now? Going to go shopping for some new dress pants today. I bet if I got at least a part-time job I would be feeling MUCH better too.

I'm loving this renewed optimism! Bipolar disorder is such a funny creature.
 
 
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Default Dec 03, 2013 at 09:01 AM
  #78
Simmering anger.

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Default Dec 03, 2013 at 10:04 AM
  #79
Back to work after being off since last Wednesday. Actually, I was sick the majority of the break with a sinus infection. What a great way to celebrate Thanksgiving. Oh well. Now I've decorated for Xmas and gotten most of my shopping done. Have to wait till next paycheck to finish.

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Default Dec 03, 2013 at 11:43 AM
  #80
Nothing good or bad, in a state of hopelessness.
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