[toscana]

I would give me back teeth so that I wouldn't have to repeat yesterday...this whole weekend in fact. I don't know if the stars were aligned against me or what but it seemed that I could do nothing right.

I decided to treat me and my daughter with Starbucks. Spilled her drink, she said it was no big deal but it sent me on a crying binge. Made it through that day only to realize that I forgot to fill one of my major meds. Ok...one day without ain't gonna be that big of a deal. This was Friday.

I had a really rough Saturday just the usual stuff bothering me. But then on Sunday all heck broke loose. I still didn't get the meds refilled because I thought I didn't have enough funds. Sunday late afternoon I started getting really anxious and finally...WHAM...full blown, shaking to the bone, scared out my wits, non stop crying anxiety attack. I took what I call my emergency meds (clonazepam) and calmed down. But not enough to sleep. I barely got three hours with waking just about every hour and checking the clock.

This morning I am still shaky but not as bad. But I did make a huge decision. I don't know if it is the right one or not but financially it is the only path I can take that I can see. I won't bore you with the details though. I just hope that I didn't make a worse mistake.

So here I sit at work just barely able to type without tons of errors. Next step...I don't know.