[LynAlone]

Hello. I'm new here. I've been suffering from undiagnosed depression for a while now. My regular doctor picked up on it and once I started thinking about it, I realized how right he is.

I have decided that I need to get help because it's getting to the point where I am barely functioning at work and home. However, I just can't make the call. I have a list of therapists from my insurance company. I've never really been in therapy before, so I don't know how else to find one. When I try to call, I either can't make myself wait for someone to answer or if I do, and it's an office staff person, they will ask me questions and I don't know how to answer and I just hang up. I know that's really childish, but I get kind of panicky.

For example, the last one I tried, the woman who answered the phone (who was sort of rude when she answered which put me off -- she didn't say the name of the practice or anything so for a second I wondered if I had the right number) asked if I wanted to see a psychologist or a psychiatrist. Well, I don't actually know. When I sort of stuttered, she said, really sharply, "You don't know what kind of doctor you need?" So, I just told her to never mind and hung up.

I know I'm overly sensitive, but dang it. I feel like ... I don't know, either these places should be more welcoming since they are going to have people calling who are on the edge, or have people answering the phone who can offer a little more guidance and help ... or maybe it's just me.

Now I feel like it's really hopeless and I'm not even going to be able to make an appointment to see if maybe someone can help me.

[gayleggg]

You're not being overly sensitive, that woman was just rude. You are right she should and could have been much more helpful.

You might want to ask you doctor what type of treatment he has in mind. Then remember psychiatrist mostly prescribe medication - psychologist, counselors and therapists mainly do talk therapy of one sort or another, they don't prescribe medication. That way the more you know the easier it will be for you to call and make appointment. Or you might even show your doctor the list and see if he can refer you to one.

[oifsnafu]

First off, we are kindred spirits...I'm also a depressive. I know what it's like to have to try to function while enduring EXCRUCIATING emotional pain. Bloody miserable. Agony. Non-depressives don't get it. They just think "sad". It's pain...pure and simple.

If you get a chance, Google the case studies on people with damage to their anterior cingulate and insular cortices. They lack the ability to attach emotional significance to their physical pain. You could drive a knife through their hand, they could tell you about the pressure, about the nature of the injury and it's intensity, but they wouldn't be able to feel distressed. To me, depression is like the inverse of this (physiologically it's not, just drawing an analogy here...). It's like having all the emotional distress of a serious physical injury (wanting to sob and wail...that ache in your chest and tightness in your jaw...that feeling like you're immobilized...don't want to do anything...can't focus...), but without the actual injury. Yeah. Pain without purpose. Depression blows. Hang in there. It's treatable.

As for Psychologist vs. Psychiatrist? Hell...tell 'em both (i.e. therapist AND psychiatrist). I didn't do meds or therapy until I was in my mid-thirties. Really wish I would have started sooner. I wasted a lot of time and energy struggling with depression and PTSD. This first part, making the call, might be hard, but you'll feel better once you start therapy and meds (some anti-depressants have really long half-lives, so they may take weeks to kick in...just stick with it).

If the calls themselves are creating a lot of anxiety, script out what you're going to say before hand. I used to do this for junior Marines on duty...write out for them what to say when they answer the phone so they didn't freeze up "Good evening, this Private Smith, Weapons Company, First Battalion, Eighth Marines, you are speaking on an unsecured line, how may I help you sir or ma'am?". It's a mouth full. With the script in front of you it's a piece of cake. You can even tell the person on the other end that you're having trouble with the calls...might make 'em more sympathetic.

Finally, I've been able to find online resources that include email addresses for mental health professionals. If all else fails, make the appointment electronically. The most important thing is to get yourself in there and get treated. It makes a huge difference in you quality of life...getting rid of all that pain.

Best of luck. Re-post when you get through...might inspire others to do the same.

Lyn,

You are right about your first read on the operator. We (you can I) are from the midwest and in this region of the country - it is simple courtesy to answer a phone a certain way. We are not rude "east coasters" or europeans (who answer the phone in very different ways).

A simple "this is _____, thank you for calling" would be an appropriate greeting. Sounds like the operator failed to do the basics.

That being said - what kind of help DO you need? Can we help you?

[Auntie2014]

Hello and Welcome! First of all remember that you are not alone. We have all been "first timers" at some point. You have a lot of information resources here. Spend a little time reading posts so you can become comfortable with what I call the "lingo". I think you will feel more comfortable, confident and prepared when you make that next call.Don't be afraid to ask questions here if you do not understand something. Someone will jump in to help or guide you to the right area.

Good Luck!

[catsrhelm]

All I can suggest is call a different practice that is on your list. I would go for both a therapist and a PDoc. You were right, that first one was rude and unprofessional.

[LynAlone]

Thank you all for your replies. I can't even tell you how much they've helped already. I am starting today with renewed hope. I will post back with good news.

oifsnafu, that is an AMAZING description of depression. That is spot on.

I think writing out a script about what I want to say and making sure I have all info (insurance card, my schedule) right there will help. Also thanks for the suggestions about psychiatrists vs psychologists. I feel better informed now, which will help.

Again, thank you!