[volatile]

I really really don't know how much longer I can just continue this. I try and try but it's never enough. i'm never strong enough and everything is ****ing ****. How do people function? i don't understand how people live. how can they be happy? my mother treats me like complete garbage. i have no where else to go so it just gets worse and worse and worse. i literally don't even leave the house anymore. i have NO confidence i don't talk to ANYONE at all. I just sit in my room all day playing call of duty obsessively. I was going to start school this year i was so excited. i was planning it all... but my ****ing ***** mother forced her own plans onto me. she's getting surgery and she DECIDED that i was going to be her ****ing maid aka house slave. I was even going to get my drivers license and she said "oh once you get your license you'll drive me everywhere too" Like the sole reason I exist is for her. I'm so ****ing pathetic that everything i had hoped for just crumbled right underneath me and i literally don't care anymore. i just accepted it. **** IT. **** everything. i don't ****ing care!! I just want to be dead already my life means nothing anyways

I want her to help me. i want my father to help me. I want them to support me and talk to me but they don't give a ****. so I just sit here crying like a ****ing stupid child. I feel like i don't have a family and i don't have a home. this is just a place and they are just random people and i'm an invisible dead person. i'm in hell and i'm very alone. I don't even think they ARE my family. maybe they kidnapped me and they really did just want a house slave.

[Sadley]

Hmm. Wow. Pretty much exact same story of my life, except my dad is dead.

If I considered myself to be alive I would hold my vow to never do any of the things my parents do. I would never have kids, especially for the purpose of making them do things for me. That is the total wrong reason to have kids in my opinion. It should be about them, not you, if at all, which I don't really agree with continuing this disgusting race anyway.

[gayleggg]

It's a shame people don't have to take test before having children and that there isn't a direction book that comes with babies. I think your mother is a very selfish woman. I think you should tell your mother that you plans are already set and that you will help when you can but you will be going to school and she will have to figure something else out for when you are at school. I think that the assertive way is the only way to deal with her at this point. If you are old enoug to go to college then you should be able to make certain decisions for yourself. I wish you luck and am sorry you are having to go through this.

[volatile]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

It's a shame people don't have to take test before having children and that there isn't a direction book that comes with babies. I think your mother is a very selfish woman. I think you should tell your mother that you plans are already set and that you will help when you can but you will be going to school and she will have to figure something else out for when you are at school. I think that the assertive way is the only way to deal with her at this point. If you are old enoug to go to college then you should be able to make certain decisions for yourself. I wish you luck and am sorry you are having to go through this.

it's some much harder than just being assertive. I try, I try so ****ing hard with these people. I'm not "allowed" to be assertive, not that I don't try but I'm sick of being attacked and demeaned all the ****ing time for it. it's already too late now to get back and try to apply for classes. i have to wait a couple of months... i'm just so fragile right now that i can't hold together to evne get anywhere. i can't make any steps without falling apart. I asked my mother after i had already internally given up on myself "you did know i was going to start school right? that I would not have had time for you?" and all she said was "well i'm glad you decided to stay". it just makes me so depressed. i'm sick of myself. i just don't know how to be strong but also have to deal with these people on a daily basis.