[Alone91]

I am 22, a virgin and i have no friends.
I had friends, in junior high into, high school, then my best friend died, and I lost all of my other friends after that. I made a few friends after that, then i developed irritable bowel, tmj, anxiety, depression and fibromyalgia, and had to leave school. The one friend i kept is now in university, crazy busy, and has started dating guys online then inviting them to come stay with her. The newest guy refused to meet me because I broke down and told my friend that i wished I was dead and he had enough of "suicidal" people at home and doesn't need to deal with it here. Needless to say i felt completely worthless and completely heartbroken that my friend thinks that it was okay, and pretty much blamed me and said that she doesn't even know what to say to me anymore. I have now learned that i can't talk to anybody about this because they just hold it against me. I can't talk to my parents about emotions of any kind.
I'm not pretty and I'm overweight, which is most likely why I'm a virgin, but I try to be a good person. I always try to do my best, I'm always willing to help others, but that doesn't seem to matter. I have no one in my life that isn't required to love me. I feel completely hopeless all the time, I'm always sick and sore and i really just dont want to do this anymore. When I first got sick i was so scared that it was cancer or something similar, i had a lupus scare, now i keep finding myself wishing that it was. I would be sick for a while, then i would get skinny, then it would be over.
I know other people who aren't beautiful or are heavy that are surrounded by friends and have relationships so why can't I? I even see really mean and abusive people who have all the things that i want but don't have. I spend so much of my time worrying that ill do the wrong thing that i don't end up doing anything that i could be hated for. The only like that i can see is that I must just be a worthless unlikeable person. At work i am always getting praised, but I still have no friends.
Is this what life is always going to be like? Is it possible that my appearance can stop people from liking me no matter what type of person i am?
What is so wrong with me?