[Petra5ed]

I'm convinced I'm depressed because I feel so alone and unconnected. My goal is to try to create some new friendships or something, where I can work up to having meaningful conversation with another live person that is not a therapist. How does one start? How would I go about making these friends? I'm sorry, this is probably an idiotic question.

[Curupira]

It's actually a great question. I struggle with this as well. What has helped me is volunteering. It is generally free, it gets you out of the house and depending on what you do you may find yourself interacting with a lot of people. Make sure to ask questions about their lives. You may find some people you are compatible with

Hope this helps

[Curiosity77]

It's not a dumb question at all. I also feel pretty isolated. I have a few close friends, but ever since my divorce it's been pretty lonely. I try to meet new people, but my anxiety gets in the way and i feel like i have nothing to say. I can talk to coworkers while we are working and it's fine, but social time outside of work is difficult. I've gone on a bunch of dates from plenty of fish, and i always feel more depressed once it's done. I used to have a lot of friends, but i lost a lot of them due to my mental illness. Now i feel like my illness and my medications are a big secret that keeps me away from other people. I've been spending a lot of time alone, and too depressed to do anything about it. I miss having a social circle to do things with. I just joined this forum, and it's helping with the isolation feeling. So that's something.

Do you have access to an in person support group where you could meet people? There isn't one where i am, but i think that would be a good way to make friends.

[shabur]

I agree with Curupira. I started volunteering for an organization that is involved in something I truly believe in - animal welfare. It took a little work on my part to find the right group, but I did.
The organization is run well. It is a non-profit taking no governmental funds. 95% of the money they raise goes towards the care of the animals. 95% of the "staff" is volunteers. They have a save rate of 97%. There isn't anything they won't do for an animal, as long as it leads to a long term quality life. I believe in what they do.
I have developed many very good relationships with people who I have something in common with, but we talk about many different things. Using Facebook, one of the volunteers developed a page for other volunteer groups who are involved in animal rescue. We all get together once a month to socialize. We also have sports teams through our park district.
Finding this group has been a Godsend.

If you're looking for friends common ground is the most important place to start. So I would suggest joining groups on meetup.com in your area. And considering volunteer work like shabur mentioned. I've met a lot of people doing prairie restoration work. You have a lot of spare time to chat when you're picking seeds and pulling weeds. You can also looking into local libraries that run mini programs and etc. I used to go to a chess meet up at my library which was full of fellow geeks. You definitely have a lot of options to meet people Start with one event and see if it's a good fit! If you don't like the people then it's just not the right group for you! Don't give up! It's most definitely not a silly question. I find hanging out with people to really help ground me and help pull me through a lot of things.

Also, if you're interested in martial arts or some other type of fitness class, a lot of people that are super friendly and you can moan and groan about work outs together. I've made friends in karate class just from working with them.

Best of luck!

[Fuzzybear]

[Imc56]

A very good question. I have been really down for about 3 months and not getting out. Once I do, I feel so much better. I have 1 volunteer gig, but need to find something where I feel worthwhile and have contributed to others without getting too sucked in. Thanks so much for everyone's comments!

[hvert]

I find that just getting out of the house and talking with anyone helps alleviate this feeling for me. I don't even need the meaningful conversation. I set the bar low, and try to have a pleasant conversation with the Walmart greeter or eat lunch at a place where I'm a regular and can chit chat with employees and customers.

In terms of making friends, I have had a lot of luck meeting people through classes.

[megfedorczyk]

Absolutely not a dumb question. I have problems with isolation as well. There have been weeks for me when the most social interaction I have is when I text my family to tell them I'm safe in my apartment. What helps me to get out of it is to go to my university costume shop and work. More often than not, there is someone in the shop that I can chat with even if it is just to say, "Hi! How are you?"

I know this is easier said than done. Sometimes I have to throw myself out of bed just to do it, but it always makes me feel better.

So I would say, find something that you enjoy doing and try to find people that share the same interest. Also I always find that asking someone how they are doing opens up the conversation. It shows right off the bat that you have an interest in their lives and well being, and hopefully they will reciprocate that interest.

[happytulips]

Great ideas! I enjoyed reading all of them. I have great interactions with wait staff and grocery store clerks. I'm always really friendly with those guys, because I know they probably come across quite a few grumpy patrons. So, I like to feel like I may be a "breath of fresh air" to them. If I'm feeling isolated or down that particular day, these "strangers" always seem to lift me up. There is even one grocery store clerk who remembers my name, and it's always a nice surprise when he greets me. I know he must run across hundreds of people a day. I think really finding an organization or cause that you're interested in and getting involved with that or finding a job out in public, where you can regularly interact with people, would be a great way to socialize. I myself, am going to start soon looking for part-time employment, just so I can get out of the house, make a little money for (vet bills), and engage with society once again. I wish you luck Petra5ed!

[Denman]

this is a great post. I suffer from social isolation and loneliness also. It's been the main problem with my Depression. I wake up every day totally bored and wander around the house not knowing what to do. I agree with a lot of posters here, and that is to look into
volunteer opportunities, possibly Church, pet shelters, or even support groups. I realize I have to take an active role to change my life. I do reach out to people here on this site,
some reply, others do not, it's not always easy to make that "connection" with other people these days.