[Miss Princess]

Hi im a female in my 20s ive been diagnosed with depression/ anxiety and chronic pain:,(
I went to school to become a medical assistant I graduated from that. 5 years later my grandma is diagnosed with cancer and my grandpa has alzheimers and because i live with them all the responsiblities tend to be dumped on me.
I am not the only grandchild last I checked we have 6 other grandchildren besides me.
My dad also lives with us and he works i stay and wake up at 5 am to tend to my grandma and grandpa.I wake up its time to give grandpa his medications before breakfast then give grandma something to eat to take her antibotic. Then i must feed the animals and that takes a little bit of time before you know it its 11 am then feed grandpa breakfast and then ask if grandma would like fruit.
Mind you the doctor that comes to see her pulled her out of rehab center dropped her off with pneumonia and a bacterial infection.
Then if theres time make something for me to eat. Which here comes the part i must tell you their daughter drops off a small portion of food.(by the way my father is not the only sibling he has 2 other siblings)

What gets me today is im always questioned what did they eat and how much so I leave out the dishes for someone to investigate them. But she doesnt bother washing the dishes she uses and im tired of being questioned the evidence is right in front of your face are you blind or something. Today I woke up to a sink full of dishes do you find this to be right ? I work my butt off taking care of my grand ma and grandpa in pain and i get drama from this family.. What can I do? I want to run away :,(
I feel like no one cares or listens to me im tired of do this do tht ooh and then the medical people want to tell me position my grandma and change her I cannot do that when i have excruitating pain but seriously no one cares. And seems my dad wont tell them ( his siblings)their driving him crazy /So i hear about it or it gets taken out on me where he yells hes tired of it and i tell him you go yell at them about it but he wont:,(hes responsible for takeing care of my grandpa after and 8 hour shift. Does this seem right ?

What can i do about the depression ? Holistically no meds please i already had a panic attack. I feel like the stress is taking over my life it feels like its going to kill me :,( i love my grand pa and grandma but im limited on what i can do and no one seems to hear me.my bf tells me im strong to be able to handle soo much truth is i dont know if i am as strong i cry alot im depressed a lot . I worry about my health, my dads well being and my future. Seems everyone else has lives and mine doesnt matter :,( i hate this ME i snap quickly i yell more i cry more i feel the stresss building up in me. I dont know why other grandchildren cant do anything its all ME ME me and my DAD DAD dad.. And all she does is clean my grandma a few times and feed them thats it.I had to learn some other stuff the medical "PROFESSIONALS" dump on you because the stupid insurance doesnt pay for them to come DO their job so they DUMP it on the PATIENTS family or CAREGIVERS.

They teach you how to do I.V.s now can you believe it what happened to thats a L.V.N. Or R.Ns job? And now teach you how to do a breathing treatment.. What happened to Respitory Therapists????? Anyone can be a respitory therapist now add that to my resume and the I.V

[Frankbtl]

Hi, it sounds like you're under a lot of pressure and perhaps not getting the opportunity to say everything you're feeling and be heard? But remember you do matter in all of this.
I'd say that you really need a break/s in all of this. Doing what you're doing can be SO hard going. I'm guessing you feel a real sense of responsibility for your grandparents but sometimes things can come to a point where you just have to stand up and say "I can't", "I won't" to some things. Doing that is NOT a weakness on your part!!
It won't mean you love them any the less, but you really have to protect yourself in all of this for both YOU and them. You can still be there for them in other "smaller" ways in caring for them, but it sounds like this is way too much for you and even taking away from the relationships you could be having with your grandparents.
SO you really need to contact someone.......members of your family?............Social services?.............the hospital?............the doctor?..........whoever is involved............anyone (!) and find some sort of "middle ground" in what you're doing for them.
And get some support/advise/understanding from other people caring for members of their family too- there's a forum for caregivers support on here and there'll be others out there too, really make use of them.
But the depression- I'd say you're losing a lot of real focus on yourself with the situation as it is, maybe really think about yourself and your needs a lot more??
And perhaps think about the things that might help you personally whether that's having more time going out doing things, more time to relax, exercise, diet, doing things you enjoy, finding an interest........But I'd always say talking/sharing can help a lot as well.
Oh, and make sure you're putting the right amount of pressure on your doctor for him/her to help you as much as possible with your pain relief!!
Here if you want to talk........
Alison

[Miss Princess]

Thank you Alison I really appreciate your input !!my appt is today soo lets see what specialist im going to now .. My dadis feeling the same pain now im happy im not alone