...that I had the tools to deal with this now...

...that I was getting happier...

...that I was accepting of myself...

...that I didn't care what others thought...

...that I would be more terrified of knowing that the depression is back...

:/

Hang in there bunny

[lizzpayan]

Sorry, you feel that way .
But it happens you are not alone. When this happens to me I think to my self " ok, it will pass" learn to breathe it out. This is just a small pebble in your way to recovery. Seek help with a professional, sometimes what is going on is not as big as you think and when that happens we need someone to tell us that it is no big deal and that you can handle it, because you can

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I747 using Tapatalk

[gayleggg]

Glad you found PC. We have many forums. Look around and post when you wish.

Thanks.

Today has been a bigger struggle than it has been. And the past few days have me convinced that I'm experiencing depression again.

And right now, I'm sitting on a conference call feeling left out because it seems I've missed a couple emails that should have prepared me for the call. I'm sure that the emails weren't sent to me due to a simple oversight, but here I am thinking it's personal. Ugh. Hate when I get thinking this way...

[smmath]

Sometimes when I get too much in my own head and thinking in not positive ways, I tell myself "stop, relax, and focus on the now". Maybe telling yourself something like that will help you when you start thinking about negative things at work.

Sending hugs your way.

Originally Posted by smmath

Sometimes when I get too much in my own head and thinking in not positive ways, I tell myself "stop, relax, and focus on the now". Maybe telling yourself something like that will help you when you start thinking about negative things at work.

Thanks for the advice. It's essentially reinforcing what I've learned to do.

Problem is, I'm not doing it. I have the tools...but they aren't working.

The strange thing is...I'm starting to feel complacent. As if the depression feels comfortable. I don't want it to be comfortable or familiar.

*sigh*

A lot of depression is just the constant daily struggle. And then you slowly start to slip because it's really hard to keep on fighting day in and day out.

It reminds me of a question a lecturer posed once. She asked "How much does this figurine weigh?" and she was holding a small metal object. And a bunch of students guess anywhere from "1/2 lbs" to "5 lbs" but she said no to each one and said "Really, the most important part is how long you're holding it."

And so the only advice I really have would be to give yourself a small break and then get ready to fight again. Usually when I'm having a really off day, I do what I can and then relax. Treat myself to something nice and go to bed early hoping to get a bit more energy for the next day. Usually it works. Sometimes I've been lucky and snapped out of it in the middle of the day. But the most important part is acknowledging your feelings and then gearing up to fight again (as tedious as that sounds).

Unfortunately we can compare it to weight lifting or something like that. We need to strain the muscle, and then let it repair a little, and then strain it again. And eventually we'll get to where we need to be. It's tough though :/

Best of luck fighting!

[Fuzzybear]