People WANT to be lied to!

Know how people tell you that if you want to be a "good" person you should never lie and you should be honest?
Hahahahahahahahha!
No, the REAL truth is that if you want to be seen as a "good" person-you got to plant a fake smile on your face and tell people what they want to hear.
Don't waste your time doing anything differently. Trust me-I've banged my head against that wall my whole life and it's not worth it. NOBODY appreciates nor respects you when you tell the truth. So, lie your *** off and say what people want to hear and you'll be the most wonderful person in the world!

Couldn't agree more, sad to say. Kind of a depressing commentary on life!

yep

Yep

"So, lie your *** off and say what people want to hear and you'll be the most wonderful person in the world!" -- maybe to some other people but how about to yourself? Is that who you want to become? I don't care if other people want to be lied to, I don't wish to be a liar.

I personally am too tired of telling the truth only to get shat on for it. I totally understand where the original post is coming from. It's easier to tell people what they want to hear than what they will just browbeat you for and argue incessantly with you about. I don't have that kind of emotional energy to spare.

Candy

No, not everyone, Jax.

But you have discovered a quality that you don't want in those who you draw close to you. You want people who will listen and be genuinely concerned. People who are strong and real. So make that a goal, to find a few good caring friends to have near you that you can count on, talk to, receive what you need from.

Search for them. Draw them near. And cherish them like they do you.

ECHOES

No, I don't think so either.... although its true for many...

Some people DO appreciate the truth if its told in such a way as to not be hurtful. But it takes a mature person for that I think....

Be authentic... it will matter to those who matter...

Actually I have done things both ways. When I am on antidepressants I'm basically pasting on that smile Im ok attitude because I feel nothing and know its what some people expect from me. But then SKR a past therapist told me she did not want me to paste on a smile just cause others expect it. I still did it with a select few for example a DHS caseworker because if I wasn't smiling and agreeing with her she ordered up another Comprehensive Psychological Evaluation just to make sure I was not hiding anything and so on.

But for the most part everyone in my life knows what they see is what they get and if they don't like it they know where my door is and how not to call me and so on because it was hiding and stuffing my feelings, emotions, and not taking care of when bad situations happened to me that is the reason why I have Dissociative Identity Disorder, PTSD, Depression, Self injury and suicidal behaviours now.

So now people expect me to put it out there regardless of if they are going to like what they hear or see or not..

Something along this line of thinking happened today in the depression management class that I am in right now. My therapist LL is the main facilitator and there is a person doing internship with the agency that is attending the group helping LL.

Well the first question during check in is name and and name of your therapist. LL has other clients besides me in the class so naturally going around the room during check in lately the first question has been including people saying whether or not they like their therapist.

When it was my turn I looked at LL and said - "Im not sure if LL wants me to say what I think of her" She smiled and said "Its you're check in" (She already knows what I think of her but the rest of t he class didn't)

So I said right out when I first met her I thought she was a stiff with potential, about a month and a half later I thought she was an A@#$%&* but now after being with her for 2 years we make a great therapy team and I think shes terrific.

My saying this got a combo of gasps, and laughter and shock. I looked at everyone and said LL already knows this and LL put the thumbs up and said "Its all good. ____ and I have a very open relationship"

Im this way with everyone - my doctors, LL, my friends and everyone else that I know and I have been told by each and every one of them that they are glad that I am not sugar coating, and pasting on the smiles and so on. They want me to be me no matter if I am happy sad, excited and so on. And they respect me even more now what I am like this - showing them the 100% truth not the fake smile got to be happy just because people want me to be kind of thing.

Im sorry that people in your real life are expecting smiles and fakeness from you. I hope some day you will have some people who will accept you even when you are depressed and so on.

Hang in there

to be honest jax, if the people in your life demand lies, to me they arent worth the time of day.

i am an honest person, havent always been. i used to lie about how i was feeling, both about myself and about others. id lie to myself and to others in hope that the lie might become reality, and it didnt, to no surprise.

an honest life is far more rewarding. my dad said to me the other day that people who are honest, are reliable. and people who are reliable have far more respect than the people who lie. people know where they stand with honest people. they know when they have upset you, or they know if you like them etc.

and if i tell the truth to someone and they dont like it, well its their problem. the truth is the truth. and if it causes them to hold something against me, well then so be it. they obviously arent worth knowing.

lies can cause serious damage. i hate knowing i am lied to, and i dont like liers. there is no need to lie. i understand where you are coming form entirely, i understand entirely the motives to lie, but in the long run it will only leave you cold, empty and alone.

honesty is THE only way forward in my opinion.

im sorry the people in your life make you feel you need to lie, but trust me jax, you dont. be true to yourself and others. life is so much easier that way. it reveals who is a true friend and who isnt, because a true friend will accept the truth and not hold it against you. besides, the truth isnt you fault, a lie doesnt make you a better person, does it?

it really isnt worth the effort of lies, they only comne back and bite you in the arse eventually. trust me, ive been there. i used to lie but i hated myself for it. so now im honest. and if someone asks me for my opinion, they have the right to know the truth. and people who ask for your opinion, for the truth, and know you will give them a positive comment, a lie, they will think less of you.

simon