[Billy353]

Hello, I will be 33 in May and feel at least for the past year that I am having a mid-life crisis.
I'll be blunt, I hate my life and I don't know how to change it. I don't have a college degree. I think I have social anxiety disorder. Throughout my teens and adult life I was unable to make very many social connections or friendships. I have always been very lonely, and to deal with the loneliness I would lock myself in my room in my 20s and play video games. I never had a girlfriend I have always felt that I was too ugly for that. People said to me in my early 20s I looked like I was mid 30s or so. I have always been really self conscious about my looks, rather I have hated the way I look. I spent 25-32 hooked on this online mmo rpg game where I actually made friends. I would play it every day and it kept me happy somewhat. Last year I woke up one day and realized that I wasn't happy, but that I had nothing to show for my time spent on the earth. I quit the game and started to get my body in shape in hopes I could make some rl friends and possibly meet someone, so mby I could get started on making a family. But a year later here I am in the same situation. My body is in shape now but my face looks really old for my age. I am so depressed and sad, I feel alone, and hopeless. I often think about suicide. My roomate who is 45 tells me its an early midlife crisis, I don't know.... could it be or is it the fact that I am at a dead end in my life?

I don't know that it is a midlife crisis or simply coming of age. Your 30's is a great decade. You have a little more cash flow to do things with. You start to pay more attention to things that really matter to you.. You are figuring out your values. It sounds to me like you are on track

Great job getting yourself in shape too! Says something right there about your commitment to yourself. It sounds to me like you just need to learn how to get out there and enjoy yourself. Maybe get involved in a therapy group for people working on their relationship or communication skills. Clearly you can make friends. It is just doing it in person or figuring out strategies to meet people possibly. At first when you do get out there it is scary and you fumble like with anything else. The more you do it the better you get. Don't sell yourself short. You didn't hide. You got out from in front of the computer and got yourself together. Be proud of that



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[bluekoi]

Welcome to PyschCentral! We are here to help & support you. Have you consider seeing a qualified therapist to help you improve the way you feel about yourself? Sometimes we just get stuck in a rut. A knowledgeable outside opinion can be helpful and uplifting.

[ToeJam]

Originally Posted by Billy353

I spent 25-32 hooked on this online mmo rpg game where I actually made friends. I would play it every day and it kept me happy somewhat.

That wasn't by chance Runescape was it? Played that religiously till a year back as well... still involved in the community via a fan site... but yeah, quit the game for good.

Welcome to PC and it might well be worthwhile speaking to a T if you have the opportunity.

Mid life crisis is something I once considered... but on reflection I've been in this state since my teens... so unless, a mid life crisis started really early I figured it wasn't that.

Welcome again and I hope things improve.