[mulan]

I guess, this is a odd and boring story and this question is one of those almost people would say "shut up".
I will try to explain the better I can what happened with me this morning. And I hope you are sincere in your answears.
I'm dealing a lot with am I a good or a bad person thoughts?

I think I was never really mean with anyone, and when I feel I might have hurt someone I use to apolagize or at least ask them if I upset them...

Whatever, I had some pratical class...we are a group of four people with one teacher in the pratical classe. But apparently two people of the group didn't make it today...didn't comunicate it in advanced, so I had to send sms to them if they were going to the class, and waited some time for the answers...until this nothing special, I should got (maybe) a little mad with them but I didn't.

The problem is that I was alone with a boy that annoy me. He's the opposite of popular, he can't even raise his voice (seams like he doesn't have any strenght), most of the time he just sits with people being there and smilling and not saying to much. He can't make things by himself, he doesn't move in order to get anything, and the part that annoy me most: he has to follow all the rules, even if they really exist or not, for him it looks like everything is a sin. And in the beggining of the year my classmates sent some jokes to me my like "you gonna be is girlfriend"... So what made them think I was alike him?

And besides all this reasons that can get me irritated, he his small, thin, and not quite good looking.

And so it was me and him, having to collect the story of a patient that our teacher add told us to collect yesterday. But I hate too, the way he deals with people and makes the questions, it seams like is a piece of glass which is going to broke anytime.

In theory maybe I should feel some sorry about the way he is...and I'm not mean with him...but he irritates me. He seams to like very much pervert jokes and the other subjects a group in my class only talks about, which I don't like.

So in the end he hadn't hear the teacher in the previous day saying what was the patients bed. I had the number in my head, but I was not sure... He had no idea that we were told to interview a patient in the morning when teacher said it many times. But I had no one to make sure what was the patients bed.

I tried to reach our teacher, but she was occupied. Then I went to the bedroom I thought was the one the patient was in, but the only patient who was there was occupied too. In the meanwhile I had to sujest all this solutions and ask my classmate his opinion because, he doesn't do anything by himself.

So I donne wanting, being with him, and having no idea when the teacher was going to be free. So I thought: we can see the medicals filles of the patient and tell the teacher what we learned from them, in case she would ask about the story. I also remember we could say that we went to another hospital (we had too, but we couldn't go, and no one has any mean to know if we were there). OMG! Like he didn't talk to me anymore, he made me felt that everything I was sujesting was so wrong that any person who thought about it (even they don't do it) was an awfull person.

As the grade from pratical classes is based on our presence in the classes and we were about to live, without meeting the teacher. I thought these could be good ideas to show her that we were there (and worked) in the morning and at the same time we didn't have to tell her that we forget the bed's number and that our group mates didn't come. The truth makes me feel pretty stupid, because we had other possibilities, and we could had wait for the patient to be free (I even should had ask him when he was going to be free, but at the time it didn't cross my mind, and I didn't want to go there again, because I felt pretty stupid about going to the same patient again - it had been an odd situation).

But he made me feel like a mean person because I thought in those solutions and I didn't mind to do them. And at the same time I felt irritated about all the answears he gave me the all morning. Am I being mean because he annoys me and I'm in mean because I thought that we should might lie?

Sorry for the long, hard to understand story.

Mulan, I don't think that you have the ability to act in a malicious way, it just doesn't seem to be in you.

It sounds to me like a simple personality clash. We, even here, don't get along with everyone....

In your story, it sounds to me as if you were simply trying to come up with solutions to a problem and he was just moaning about them.
You were not mean or a mean person.

AND in future, simply because a person DOES something bad, doesn't mean that they ARE bad.

Huge difference.

[NWgirl2013]

You Are A Good Person.
You are working hard to do the right things, that is clear.

It will be best if you continue to try to get along with all your colleagues as you are doing now. Others teasing you is just something you have to endure. Sorry. You are doing well not to judge this boy too harshly. He sounds difficult to work with. Think of working with him almost as practice working with patients, if that help you. You are practicing your 'people skills" with him and your other team members, even when they are not there. That will only make you better at your job. Good for you for staying focused on the work.

Perhaps you can discuss with your professor or instructor how best to accomplish all your requirements to be sure you are doing everything you can to do well, with or without your team.

Keep up the good work! I think you sound like a good and compassionate person with a bright future.

Hugs ((((((((((MULAN))))))))

[Curupira]

I have to agree with the above. It sounds like his personality just grates on you. You are not required to like everyone. In life we need to cooperate with all kinds of people, some we love and some we may want to punch in the face.

It is totally ok for you not to like this person as long as you remain professional. And please do not give yourself an ulcer worrying about it.

A quick book recomendation "who's pushing your buttons" is a really good read. It gives you concrete techniques for dealing with people who get under your skin.

[nija43]

Originally Posted by mulan

I think I was never really mean with anyone, and when I feel I might have hurt someone I use to apolagize or at least ask them if I upset them...

You are a good person because you care how you make other people feel.

I agree with everyone else. You tried to make the best of a bad situation. Even when you made a mistake, you tried to correct it. You had no help from the other person.

I think you did well.

[Clara22]

Hi Mulan,
Thank you very much for sharing this!
I do not think we can judge anybody (you or somebody else) just by their thoughts. We cannot control our thoughts or feelings totally, so, how can we judge you by your thoughts?. I think we can judge people by their acts. So far, you have done nothing to this guy. I cannot see anything bad (or good) that you have done here Maybe I am not paying attention or I do not understand. The good thing to me is that you are aware of your thoughts and feelings, even if they are not perfect. I mean, everybody likes to be "good" and have "perfectly good" thoughts and feelings and does not like to accept or admit that sometimes we have bad thoughts or feelings. You are mature enough to acknowledge that you dislike this guy and that you have thought of cheating your teacher somehow. I congratulate you because you are able to identify those thoughts of yours and communicate them to us.
About this guy, perhaps on top of the features of him you dislike, there is this thing that people have teased you about him; you may not like the fact that some people maybe have found you to be similar to him ? I do not know. If this is the case, it is understandable you feel some rejection for him.
Perhaps, one day, when you feel more comfortable with yourself, you will be able to disregard the stupid comments or jokes of your classmates, and also, you will be able (if you like and want) to act in a compassionate way towards somebody like this guy, who is not very likable and probably has some problems
In the meantime, perhaps you are still young and struggling to find your own identity, to come into terms with the way your see yourself.
I would not worry too much for this episode.
Again, i am happy for you as you are in touch with your thoughts and feelings.