[Vossie42]

We went way too fast. He moved in after a few weeks at my invitation. Less than a week later I told him to move out. Now I'm lonely and feeling rather depressed. The catch is that I never really liked this guy much. I already knew that before we hooked up. But I had forgotten. In my deep depression I was vulnerable. He called me when I was at a tremendously low point (I was in the mental hospital at the time.) and I let him back into my life. It was so stressful being with him. Now that he's gone, I feel really lonely and wished I had handled things differently. We're not on speaking terms. The relationship would never have worked anyway. Given that he had aggravated me to no end and the relationship would never have worked, why do I feel regretful and lonely?

I know I've left out a lot of details. I just needed to get this out of my system. Ever since being in the hospital seven weeks ago, I've been having to adjust to something big and new each week. The boyfriend added to my troubles more than he helped me. I'm so tired and frazzled.

My heart goes out to everyone else out there who are also feeling lonely on this Friday night.

[littlemiss44]

I'm sorry to hear about things with yr bf. Sometimes we think it might be so right then we regret the decisions we make. You probably know it was wrong or you wouldn't have broken up with him. The feelings of loneliness are common esp after a break up. Be easy on yr self. When I broke up with my bf of 7 years I felt lonely too but it was the right decision to make. He was all wrong for me. Hopefully as time passes you'll feel better. Take care of yr self.

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[NWgirl2013]

Aw! Break ups suck big time. So sorry you are feeling lonely about it. Try to remember that it isn't really him you are missing. You are missing the dream you had about what this might have been. We all do it, project onto a situation what we dream and wish and hope for it to be.

I am glad you are on here, there are lot's of ways to keep yourself occupied and your mind busy. It is harder to be lonely when you know people care and understand.
Take heart. You dodged a bullet. Count yourself a smart and lucky one too.

[serena111]

Just broke up with a boyfriend as well, except it wasn't what I wanted at all. He just stopped being in love with me, which is excruciating.
But enough about me. I have never felt good about decisions that I've made out of fear. I know it's really difficult and horribly unpleasant, and I don't know if I'd be able to do the right thing in your situation, but you shouldn't stay with someone just because you're afraid of being alone. Friday nights can be rough. I guess the thing that has helped me the most since it happened is small acts of kindness and connection: people reaching out unexpectedly, even in real small ways. I can't deal with anything romantic right now, but it helps to know that there are good people out there. Because there are. There always are. There are so many people who are capable of unexpected empathy and kindness. I know this is hard. Try to be brave.

[Vossie42]

Thanks, everyone! Everything you say is true. I mourn the dream of happily ever after. And it's harder on weekends to be alone.

It's strange. On the one hand my ex was very accepting of my mental health issues. They didn't scare him off. But on the other hand he made it difficult for me to take care of myself physically so that I don't become so mentally stressed out. I need to eat dinner between 5 and 7 and go to bed by 10. He wanted to eat dinner at 8 or 9 and go to bed at 3 am. I had to fight for my boundaries from the get-go. I finally snapped and threw him out.

The local singles group has an outing next Friday, so I'll go to that.

[NWgirl2013]

Originally Posted by serena111

Just broke up with a boyfriend as well, except it wasn't what I wanted at all. He just stopped being in love with me, which is excruciating.
But enough about me. I have never felt good about decisions that I've made out of fear. I know it's really difficult and horribly unpleasant, and I don't know if I'd be able to do the right thing in your situation, but you shouldn't stay with someone just because you're afraid of being alone. Friday nights can be rough. I guess the thing that has helped me the most since it happened is small acts of kindness and connection: people reaching out unexpectedly, even in real small ways. I can't deal with anything romantic right now, but it helps to know that there are good people out there. Because there are. There always are. There are so many people who are capable of unexpected empathy and kindness. I know this is hard. Try to be brave.

Honey, you just said a mouthful. Thank you. I needed to hear all of that but especially the part about not feeling good about decisions made in fear. That really speaks to me. I am grateful...

[Rose76]

You seem to have a lot of insight into how you've handled things. When we are low, even a bad love can seem better than no love - as the old song says. In the long run, though, that's not really true. You have the wisdom to see that. Sometimes what we do that hurts in the short term can be for our welfare in the long run. (Like having a painful medical procedure that prevents/treats a worse problem.)

You've been seriously unwell, and this guy doesn't seem to have a clue about helping you through that. He probably wouldn't change. Try to have a plan for the next weekend that will get you out and with people, or just make a set plan to go somewhere, even only window shopping.

Thanks for your expression of concern for your readers of this thread. To even think to say that when you're as low as you are is unusual and shows a maturity on your part. That's a good thing to build on.

[Curupira]

Break ups suck. It does not matter if the guy makes you miserable, going from having a partner to being alone hurts. If it helps, I always made my worst dating decisions when I was depressed. I dated guys that were all wrong for me. Looking back I think of it as a form of self harm.

So good for you for recognizing that the guy was not right and getting out.

I think you've made a brave and healthy decision, and although you feel low now, ultimately you will be all the stronger for it. Trial by fire.

Good luck!